Contributor: Paul Asay

This bit of cinematic business should’ve remained unfinished.

We’ve already seen Transformers on the big screen this year. Now there are G.I. Joes. What’s next? Wobbly Weebles? Lincoln Logs? Tinkertoys?

Scientists try to bring back the dead. Because that’s worked so well before.

That’s what people call Bianca, anyway, and she doesn’t like it one bit. But un-DUFFing herself is no easy task, says her handsome jock tutor. (So would it be easier to just fix this movie?)

We confuse words like honor and obey with subjugation and degradation. We have a monster within us, all of us. We make a mess of things. And what a mess this movie is.

In this 21st-century homage to 20th-century James Bond flicks, “license to kill” morphs into “dressed to kill.”

Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah make moral missteps in this musical. But when they sing, they do indeed make a joyful noise.

Marvel Studios reboots its famous behemoth for his second big-screen appearance in five years. The result? More death. Less angst. One thing hasn’t changed: It’s still not easy being green.

But the end result with Jupiter Ascending is that it feels just like one of those old silent movies, only with more talking.

Dubbed a “chick flick with the devil in it” by its director, this small Christian film tackles ballet and Beelzebub.

You could say Hoovey is to basketball what Bethany Hamilton is to (soul) surfing.

I’m a bit happy that Project Almanac has such a clunky name. That alone might make some moviegoers spend their time elsewhere.

In this remake of the 1981 comedy, Russell Brand takes on the suds-soaked role that made Dudley Moore a star. There’s a point to be made in that, somewhere.

If only the boy would’ve stayed next door. Then we would’ve been spared this tacky, salacious, sexual, violent movie.

Strange magic? Strange movie is more like it.