Captain O’Hagan’s chucklehead squad of Vermont State Troopers is so bad that they’ve all been fired. But when government officials discover that the historical border separating the northern edge of Vermont and Canada has been incorrectly drawn, the offensive and outcast officers must be recalled for one more assignment.
It seems there’s a small Canadian town that’s now on American soil. And since there are no extra officers to spare, O’Hagan and his five unconventional patrolmen will need to keep the peace during the governmental transition.
Here’s the problem: There’s no love lost between these devoted Canadians and their new U.S. countrymen. The townspeople, their former hockey-hero mayor and their now-unemployed Mounties would all rather shoot themselves in the foot or drink themselves into oblivion than join the ranks of loathed Americans.
On the whole, though, that’s pretty ironic. Because getting stoned and shooting people in various body parts is about all that O’Hagan and his troopers know how to do well.
These ex-cops do want to work again, and they’re happy to leave their construction jobs to get back into uniform. And when they move into their makeshift headquarters, the officers are briefly on their best behavior while trying to stop a smuggling crime that they stumble upon.
None.
We hear that brothels and similar sex-selling establishments are legal in Canada. In fact, local mayor Guy Le Franc actually owns just such an establishment. In it, we see male and female employees in various states of undress as they caress customers. A number of women walk around topless, while men are dressed in leather straps and codpieces. One particularly graphic moment involves the mayor’s interaction with one guy’s exposed male anatomy.
In another scene, one of the troopers is high on acid and performs naked cartwheels on the lawn. (We see everything.) A trooper nicknamed Rabbit is handcuffed to a locker room bench and his pants are pulled down. We see a close-up of his crotch covered in shaving cream. Rabbit and a female Canadian official kiss and fondle each other; some clothes come off, and we’re later shown a distant, blurry security-cam video of their partially clothed lovemaking.
Rock-band groupies wear cleavage-revealing outfits. Three male Mounties are stripped, covered in body paint and left naked in the woods. And, of course, verbal sexual gags and crude-‘n’-coarse sexualized references abound throughout the film.
Along with an abundance of other nasty content, Super Troopers 2 also fills the screen with plenty of painful-looking pratfalls and comic, over-the-top violence.
A man gets shot in the chest, and his dead body is thrown out of a speeding vehicle to land on the windshield of another vehicle. We see a couple of shootouts, one involving AK-47s. The same weapon is used to blast a bald eagle out of the sky. A guy is shocked just shy of fatal electrocution several times. Stoned children crash a car into a signpost, then get out of the vehicle to kick adults in the crotch. A speeding bus full of people hurtles off a high cliff (in a dream-sequence scene in which we do not see the impact).
People get smacked about the face and shoulders by sex toys. Someone hits a man upside the head repeatedly with a phonebook. Someone else gets zapped in the crotch with a cattle prod. A helium balloon ignites and blows up in one character’s face. A saw blade cuts a man’s clothed crotch. A guy hacks off his own pinkie toe. People are punched and battered in fistfights, as well as being flattened by large heavy objects. A huge bear charges after a guy who is holding slabs of bloody meat in his arms. Etc.
More than 60 f-words and 30 s-words join a handful of uses each of “h—,” “b–ch” and “a–.” God’s and Jesus’ names are misused over a dozen times each (with at least 10 pairings of God’s name with “d–n”).
The troopers discover a cabin full of contraband that includes large bags filled with various unknown drugs. Instead of having the narcotics tested, they each sample different drugs to determine what they might be. The resulting highs devolve into comic mischief that ranges from a naked acid trip to muscular paralysis to physical transformations caused by female hormones.
Men get high on marijuana. Young children rage around, hopped up on what the troopers call “goofballs.” People smoke cigarettes and cigars. People drink beer and hard liquor.
Insults fly freely between Canadians and Americans. Toilet humor, both visual and verbal, frequently flies, too. For instance, during a night scene, a trooper looks over at his fellow officer while wearing heat-sensing night goggles. We’re shown a lengthy infrared image of the man urinating and venting voluminous clouds of gas.
Super Troopers 2 is a noxious, unwanted ticket on every level. It’s rude, lewd and ridiculously crude.
In fact, the only good thing about this pic is the fact that you can ignore it and its squad of profane cops completely. You don’t have to give this group’s flashing lights and screeching sirens the slightest glance in your rearview mirror.
Trust me, you’ll be happier driving right on by this one.
After spending more than two decades touring, directing, writing and producing for Christian theater and radio (most recently for Adventures in Odyssey, which he still contributes to), Bob joined the Plugged In staff to help us focus more heavily on video games. He is also one of our primary movie reviewers.
