Contributor: Paul Asay

Does a comedic reworking of Romeo and Juliet featuring zombies foretell the end of the world? Or merely the emergence of the undead romcom?

Bullet to the Head may have a 2013 release date, but this Sly Stallone flick feels exactly like 1983. (And there’s not a lick of nostalgia accompanying that violent fact.)

Far from being about a car, ‘Gran Torino’ is another chapter in Clint Eastwood’s ongoing quest to explore choices of dignity and disgrace, life and death.

This sci-fi horror story could’ve easily been a PG-13 thriller without all the blood and harsh profanity.

Parker’s the rare criminal who adheres to a stringent set of rules, an actual code of honor. Too bad it doesn’t include things like not stealing, lying or killing.

Don’t pick up the bread crumbs. Steer well clear of the oven. And that’s a warning to the witches in this reversal-of-fortune tall tale, ’cause Hansel and Gretel are the ones packin’ heat now.

Broken City? Try Broken Movie.

In 2003, CIA operative Valerie Plame had her cover blown in the pages of The Washington Post—payback, some suggest, for her husband lashing out against the Iraq War. But this film is about more than politics: It’s about family, duty and the nature of truth, too.

The Rolling Stones predate iPods, CDs, cassette tapes and even 8-tracks. Now Martin Scorsese is putting Mick Jagger and Co. on the big screen to prove that not even a half-century of water under the bridge can tame these bad boys of rock ‘n’ roll.

This is a scary movie all right. It’s downright terrifying … for a whole host of reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with horror. Or comedy.

It’s hard to say which is more horrible: the vampires Paul Bettany’s grim, crucifix-carrying warrior monk is forced to face here, or the violent—and violently awful—story they’re all forced to inhabit.

Next big thing in Hollywood? Furry feet. There are probably some entertainment executives who believe that those tousled toes must be the secret to the success of Peter Jackson’s film adaptations of J.R.R. Tolkien’s work. I mean, it couldn’t be the sto …

Let’s be honest: A lot of us are relieved to see 2012 go. Sure, we got to see some grand Olympic performances and all. But we spent far more time dealing with hurricanes or mourning horrific tragedies or fighting about politics or panicking over the lo …

So, imagine it’s Christmas morning, and you unwrap a present that contains, oh, $50 million or so. Now, imagine being disappointed that it’s not more. That sums up the holiday weekend for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Yeah, director Peter Jackson’ …

“So I’m just wondering, after reading quite a few of your reviews, is there a secular TV show you guys do like?” A reader emailed me that question just a couple of days ago. It’s a pretty simple question, really—one that probably some of the rest of yo …