Contributor: Paul Asay

If there’s one thing TV teaches us, it’s to never trust your neighbors. But The Americans tells us that trusting our TVs can be just as dangerous.

Stephen Colbert isn’t a conservative blowhard. He just plays one on TV.

Originality was one of the hallmarks of Lost, 24 and The X-Files. So in its quest for originality, this surreal NBC serial strives mightily to copy them all.

UPDATED REVIEW: It’s tough to be a parent—and sometimes parents themselves make the work even tougher. This NBC dramedy, based on the 1989 movie, unearths a whole lot of those sometimes.

Ironically, this smart show can feel pretty dumb.

UPDATED REVIEW: Paranormal battles with an alternate reality all but consume J.J. Abrams’ effort at stitching together a Frankensteinian sci-fi police procedural. But the drama’s real showstoppers each week are its blood, gore and squirm-inducing torture scenes.

UPDATED REVIEW: America loves crime procedurals. Critics love The Closer. It’s a perfect combination, right? Right?

The Passage is about as positive a television show predicated on ravenous vampires and the end of the world as I can imagine.

This is a grim story with an uncertain trajectory, and its strong performances (led by Oscar nominee Joan Allen) simply can’t compensate.

It’s been an eventful few years since Hannah Montana launched Miley Cyrus’ career. But while Cyrus herself may have altered her image a bit—some might say more than a bit—her flagship show is still pure Disney.

NBC has taken much of the monster out of the original literary vampire—turning the show itself into the real beast.

What do you get when you put a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost in the same house? No, not Big Brother: Preternatural. An intriguing but murky show on Syfy, that’s what.

This food-centric sitcom may be produced by Disney alum Ashley Tisdale and air on ABC Family. But there’s nothing family or appetizing about it.

For those who’ve longed to see stories illustrating God’s power to help us in our darkest hours, Roma Downey’s new show may be a bright answer to prayer.

Who wants to be a millionaire instead of falling off the roof of a 10-story building? Somehow that just doesn’t have the same sizzle. But ABC game show Downfall makes up for it by smashing a whole heap o’ stuff.