Alex Novak is getting divorced. How does he process? By doing stand-up comedy, of course. Is This Thing On? offers some unexpectedly resonant thoughts on marriage. But it also comes with pervasive profanity and plenty of sexually charged jokes, making this one for kids to skip.
“I’ll be OK.”
So Alex tells his wife—his former wife, his once wife, his soon-to-be ex-wife—on the other side of a subway window. She’s riding home (their home). She’ll give the boys (their boys) a kiss on their foreheads.
Alex’ll go back to his new apartment, with its gray walls and gray furniture. He’ll lie awake, thinking of what was.
I’ll be OK, he tells her. Maybe someday he will be.
But not yet. Not yet.
Alex can’t go back to his apartment. Not now. He needs to avoid that gray space for a while longer. He needs another drink. Never mind he’s had a few already. Never mind that he’s buzzing from that marijuana-laced cookie.
Alex staggers down the street. He spies a bar, tries to walk in. But the bouncer stops him. It’s a $15 charge, the bouncer says—$15 that Alex doesn’t have.
But there’s another way. A list, the bouncer says. Write your name on the list and go right on in.
Alex writes his name. He walks in. He downs his drink, and someone calls his name. And the next thing Alex knows, he’s backstage at a comedy club, waiting to go on.
“Just talk to them,” someone tells Alex. “Have fun.”
Have fun. Is that possible? Can he make people laugh when he’s about to cry?
I’ll be OK, he said.
A lie. He knows it. He feels it deep down. Nothing is OK. Nothing will be.
But it’s his turn. Alex steps on stage. Grabs the mic as the stage lights glare and people quietly clap.
And he starts to talk.
[Warning: The following sections contain spoilers.]
Divorce is always a tragedy, but it’s especially hard when you’ve got kids and built a life together. So it is with Alex and his wife, Tess. And even though Tess wants out, she and Alex still want to preserve what they can: They want to be friends. They want to raise their two boys together and help them feel as safe and as loved as possible.
But even though Alex is committed to all of that, he keenly feels all that he’s losing. In one scene, he parks in front of the family house and stares at the upstairs window, wishing to be part of the family again.
That sense of palpable grief feels appropriate: We here at Focus on the Family will never celebrate divorce. But if divorce comes—and sometimes, as in this case, it comes whether you want it to or not—you have to work through that loss and move on. Alex’s stand-up comedy starts that process of healing for him. He finds a new group of friends, even a new purpose. His comedy routine itself is almost like therapy, Alex admits. He grows more confident, more able to see a future in his future. And that’s not a bad thing.
But the biggest positive is this (and an extra-special spoiler warning here): Is This Thing On? isn’t really about moving on. It’s about remembering what you’ve built together. It’s about rekindling a love, and a marriage, in a healthier, more hopeful way.
Circumstances bring Tess and Alex together again. (Alex even jokes that he’s having an affair with his ex-wife.) But before they truly recommit to each other, the two need to iron out what split them up in the first place. That’s exactly what they do, acknowledging that they’ve both changed over the years and finding solid ground where they can grow together.
While Is This Thing On? centers on Alex and Tess’ relationship, we hear about other marriages, too: All have conflict. At least one is on the verge of falling apart, too. But everyone winds up in a pretty good place before the credits roll—their relationships intact and with new appreciation for their partners.
One of Alex’s friends, an actor, talks about his role in a religiously tinged play, where he played Paul the Apostle. “Someone literally thought I was a disciple,” he says. We hear a surprisingly pretty rendition of “Amazing Grace.” (No one actually sings any of the lyrics; it’s all hummed.) Someone says that relationships are, essentially, vampires.
Alex and Tess kiss passionately and wind up in bed together. (We see him shirtless and her in a black nightie.) She announces that she’s staying over. The two continue to sneak off together whenever they can.
Alex has sex with another woman, too. It’s at her suggestion, and they wind up in her apartment. Afterwards, he staggers out of the bedroom, shirtless and in his underwear, as she walks out the door, allowing him to have the run of the place. He jokes about the encounter during his next stand-up routine.
It’s not the only allusion to sex we hear in stand-up routines. He and others make jokes about orgies, affairs, sensitive body parts and the material required (or lack thereof) to cover said body parts. While Alex doesn’t joke about sex that much, his compatriots fill their routines with raunchy gags.
Tess tells her best friend that, now that she’s not with Alex, she wants to have sex with other people—and she says so in graphic, obscene terms. She seems to have a chance during a dinner “date.” It starts off as a business meeting. But when both discover that they’re “unattached” (Tess because her relationship with Alex is “over,” the guy because his wife was apparently a polygamist), Tess begins to harbor hope that they’ll will wind up in bed together. When Tess excuses herself to head to the restroom, she spends her time in there adjusting her shirt and collar to, apparently, augment her bosom. (Despite her primping, the evening ends without the two getting together.)
Tess and Alex are in a friend group that includes a married gay couple.
Tess showers, and we see her from the shoulders up. Alex’s parents speculate as to why he and Tess split up—suggesting that perhaps one of them had an affair. Alex’s best friend is called “Balls.” The context of how that nickname came to be is unclear, but the film suggests that it might’ve blossomed from an embarrassing or suggestive moment.
Alex, at one point, may express some suicidal ideation. He says that society gives you two choices: Either you take part in soul-sucking relationships or you die. And he’s determined not to take part in relationships anymore. Alex’s father, who secretly watched Alex’s stand-up routine, tells Alex, “It was funny, but it was a bit dangerous.” He suggests putting in more jokes next time ‘round.
About 85 f-words and another dozen s-words. We also hear “a–,” “b–ch” and “h—.” God’s name is misused five times, and Jesus’ name is abused 10 times.
Tess and Alex share a marijuana-laced cookie in a subway. The two drink wine frequently with their friends. Several characters smoke, and a couple puff on what are either self-rolled, filter-less cigars or marijuana joints.
A man admits that he took “too much” of something: He doesn’t recall picking up and carrying a rather large dog.
Alex keeps his stand-up work a secret from his family. But the secret leaks out when Alex’s kids find a folder filled with his jokes and stand-up material—and discover that their whole family is in it. Both kids think it’s weird, and one cries. Alex tries to reassure them that he’s simply working through some stuff with his comedy, and he tells them that his jokes are just made-up stories: He’s “pretending” on stage, which is probably partially true.
After Alex and Tess split, Alex’s friends marvel at how much better and happier Alex looks and acts. A couple say that he’s inspired them to ask for divorces too—even though Alex is happy because he’s secretly dating his wife again.
Tess and Alex’s kids contract head lice, and the whole family spends time picking through each other’s hair to remove the bugs.
We hear a toilet flush. Shortly thereafter, a dog walks out of the bathroom.
People sometimes imagine that marriage is about finding somebody who’ll make you happy. But Tess knows better.
“A real relationship is finding somebody you could be unhappy with,” she says.
Is This Thing On? has some unhappy and deeply problematic elements. Its unremitting profanity and obsession with sexual jokes will spoil this cinematic honeymoon for many. I don’t want to minimize those problems, most of which were wholly unnecessary.
But for all its R-rated issues, Is This Thing On? shocks in other ways, too.
We know how movies like this are supposed to end these days, right? A couple divorces—sad, but necessary (the movie tells us) for each of the partners to be happy. The exes grieve their losses. They each patch up their relational wounds. They find new avenues of fulfillment. They find happiness and, perhaps, even new love.
And sure, I guess that’s sort of what happens here—but it comes with a kicker: They find that new love with their old partners. They discover the truth and beauty in not the joys of marriage but the covenant of marriage: For better or worse. For richer and poorer. In sickness and health.
‘Til death do you part.
Yes, Is This Thing On? comes with serious, mature content problems, and that’s a shame. But the film comes with another sense of maturity, too: How marriage isn’t about staring into each other’s eyes for days on end but rather facing the beauties and perils of this fractious life together, standing shoulder-to-shoulder, arm-in-arm.
Marriage rates are declining in the United States. The younger you are, the more skeptical you may be of the institution itself. High divorce rates and declining religious adherence has done a number on marriage.
Is This Thing On? stresses that marriage ain’t easy. But that’s part of its beauty. It’s hard because it serves as a bulwark for the hard world around it. It’s a seawall against the storm, a castle in troubled times. And in the walls of marriage, built through struggle and strife and time, we find safety. Peace. Joy.
And if we persevere, we know one thing’s for sure:
We’ll be OK.
Editor’s note: For more on the process of forging deep marital bonds, go to “Creating and Keeping a Heart Connection in Marriage,” or any of the other related stories at focusonthefamily.com/marriage.
Paul Asay has been part of the Plugged In staff since 2007, watching and reviewing roughly 15 quintillion movies and television shows. He’s written for a number of other publications, too, including Time, The Washington Post and Christianity Today. The author of several books, Paul loves to find spirituality in unexpected places, including popular entertainment, and he loves all things superhero. His vices include James Bond films, Mountain Dew and terrible B-grade movies. He’s married, has two children and a neurotic dog, runs marathons on occasion and hopes to someday own his own tuxedo. Feel free to follow him on Twitter @AsayPaul.
