Geralt kills monsters.
He doesn’t do it for fun, or to impress the ladies, or because he’s a particularly chivalric sort of guy. No. He does it for the coin. Even a witcher’s gotta eat, after all.
But even though killing monsters is just punching the clock for Geralt, that doesn’t mean he’ll kill just any ol’ thing.
Take Geralt’s latest contract. Some pearl divers hired the witcher to take care of an Allamorax—essentially a cross between a dinosaur and a tank that lives in the water. The critter’s been snacking on fellow divers, Geralt is told, and that’s just not very nice.
But when Geralt tangles with the Allamorax, some mer-people come to its defense. The monster can barely open its mouth, much less gobble up pearl divers. The critter’s being framed, the mer-people insist. “Its only crime is being hungry,” one of them says,
So Geralt lets the Allamorax sail on its merry way. And that, it would seem, is that.
But Jaskier, the bard who accompanies Geralt on all of his adventures, reminds the witcher that they could still use some cash. “Your moral code is getting in the way of my eating,” he grouses. Jaskier tells Geralt that the next time a contract comes along, he needs to take it.
That next contract isn’t long in coming. As Geralt and Jaskier loiter in Jaskier’s old seaside hometown of Bremerford, a sailor staggers by with a blade sticking straight through him. He says that he was attacked by a fish-man creature known as a vodnik. And he promptly expires.
Bremerford’s king wants Geralt to deal with this vodnik—knowing full well that vodniks rarely work alone. They’re often employed by those pesky merfolk who live off the coast. Tensions between Bremerford’s humans and the nearby mer-people have been building for years now. Maybe now, those tensions have finally burbled over.
Geralt balks at the contract. “I’m not helping to justify a war.”
“But maybe you can help prevent one,” Jaskier says. So Geralt—joined by Jaskvier and his one-time childhood friend, Essi—begins his investigation. And it’s not long before he realizes that there’s something fishy going on.
Geralt pretends to be a grim-and-simple soldier of fortune. But Jaskier says he knows the truth: “That underneath the armor, and the weapons, and the hair—that ridiculous, ridiculous hair—you are nothing but a softie.”
Geralt indeed has a suspiciously sensitive side. He does his best to not kill things that (according to his own moral code) don’t deserve it. He wants to use his special set of skills for good—or at least indifferent—causes. And if Geralt suspects that he’s being used for wrongdoing, he’s out. Simple as that.
He’s joined by an equally committed do-gooder in Essi. The woman has always had her own soft spot for underdogs: In flashback, we see her protect a young Jaskvier (then known simply as Julian) from a big, bad bully. She has a vested interest in preventing a war, too: Her 15-year-old cousin would surely be drafted to fight if she doesn’t.
A few other folks join the good fight. A character makes a big sacrifice for the good of his main squeeze.
We hear a few folks use the word “gods” as expletives, and we see what looks to be a statue or idol of a massive merman.
Melusina, a female character who’s part of a royal mer-family, uses magic and potions to accomplish her own ends. Geralt’s old lover, Yennefer, is referred to as a “witch” several times, and the title is meant to be taken literally. Geralt uses magic, too—shooting fireballs and creating timely oxygen bubbles with his hand. We’re told that merfolk are well known to bewitch men. Someone conjures up the form of a whale out of water.
Mythical creatures fill the film, and we hear mentions of others (including vampires, djinn and werewolves).
Geralt dives into a sexual relationship with a character. We see both animated characters fully naked a couple of times. And while nothing critical is shown, viewers do see most of the woman’s breasts and a glimpse of Geralt’s pubic region. They kiss passionately and engage in some pillow talk. In flashback, we see Geralt in similar compromising positions with Yennefer. And in one dream sequence, a naked Geralt bobs around in a pool with one woman (also au naturale), who then morphs into the other woman.
Two other characters are shown, in profile, nude. (Again, nothing critical is shown.) The merfolk we see don’t appear to wear any clothes; the species’ females, though, sport rather undefined torsos. And both mermen and merwomen are, of course, fish from the waist down.
A human man and mermaid are in a sexual relationship: We see them cuddle and talk, and dialogue makes it clear how far their intimacies have gone. But we’re told that their union could never result in offspring. A love triangle forms a prominent part of the movie’s storyline. Characters flirt. Guys go shirtless. Performers at a festival wear skimpy, circus-like outfits.
We hear a reference to venereal disease, as well as a group of people’s breeding habits.
The Witcher: Sirens of the Deep is, in a lot of ways, a war movie. And while the blood might be animated, we see a whole lot of it.
Men, merfolk and vodnik fight one another, using all manner of bladed weapons. Limbs and occasionally, heads, get hewn off. People are run through with swords and spears and whatnot. One water-based character is speared with a harpoon-like weapon and dragged toward a ship. The tail of one mer-person is deeply gouged, and the character is thrown into the water in the hope that it’ll simply die. A merman suffers a fatal, gaping wound to the chest. All told, the fatality count reaches into the dozens.
An octopus-like kraken pulls a man in two with its tentacles, and it swallows other people whole. (One victim manages to bloodily cut his way out.) Humans, vodnik and merfolk are grabbed, squeezed and thrown. Tentacles are deeply gouged and sometimes sliced off.
Sailors are attacked aboard a ship, with blades being run through the bottom of the boat. Many of their corpses are later seen: One body has its ribs and bloody innards exposed as a bird pecks at the corpse. Another sailor is run through with a weapon; he makes it into town before he bloodily expires.
Critters are stabbed and sliced. Massive entrails spill from open wounds. A couple of characters nearly drown. A person punches another in the face. People are knocked off their feet and pummeled with fists and/or various weapons. Geralt coughs up a bit of blood and stomps through shallow pools of the stuff.
We hear the f-word eight times and the s-word three times. Other vulgarities include “b–ch,” “b–tard” (often used accurately to describe a child born out of wedlock), “pr–k” and one misuse of God’s name.
People drink ale and grog in taverns and parties. Geralt drinks potions that augment his fighting abilities. Another magical potion is quaffed, leading to a painful, permanent transformation. In flashback, Yennefer tells Geralt to “cover the booze, I’ll cover the bed.”
Lies are told, and characters are misled. We hear that sea creatures are starving to death because of the greed of human pearl divers.
The Witcher franchise (in the books, the Netflix live-action series and Netflix’s animated movies) revels in a robust fantasy world, sometimes offering its own bloody, twisted take on a familiar fairy tale.
Even so, I had not expected The Witcher: Sirens of the Deep to lean so hard into Disney’s classic animated film The Little Mermaid—right down to a nice little musical number performed by a deep-sea witch.
But for those who might watch Sirens of the Deep hoping for sweet little story about love’s first kiss, forget it. The characters here are far more likely to just fling off their clothes and then stab each other to death than take a gentle boat ride with a singing crab.
Sirens of the Deep is not without moments of heroism and humor. But those moments come with almost unremitting levels of content issues. Characters dive into bed with each other just about as often as they dive into the water. Blood flows so frequently here that it comes with its own tide.
None of this will likely surprise fans of The Witcher. For them, these content concerns may be more feature than bug. But for folks looking for a fun, teen-friendly swim through a fantastical realm, The Witcher: Sirens of the Deep comes with some monsters of its own.
Paul Asay has been part of the Plugged In staff since 2007, watching and reviewing roughly 15 quintillion movies and television shows. He’s written for a number of other publications, too, including Time, The Washington Post and Christianity Today. The author of several books, Paul loves to find spirituality in unexpected places, including popular entertainment, and he loves all things superhero. His vices include James Bond films, Mountain Dew and terrible B-grade movies. He’s married, has two children and a neurotic dog, runs marathons on occasion and hopes to someday own his own tuxedo. Feel free to follow him on Twitter @AsayPaul.
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