When it comes to marriage, Zoe wonders, What’s love got to do with it?
Her own parents were in love—supposedly—when they first got married. But then her dad left her mom for a younger woman. The Khans, on the other hand (Zoe’s childhood neighbors), barely knew each other at all when their parents arranged their marriage. And now, more than 30 years later, they’re completely in love with each other.
It’s about stability and what’s best for the children, Kazim (the Khans’ son and Zoe’s best friend) tells her. And Zoe wonders if he’s right. After all, the divorce rate in the U.K. is 55%, whereas the divorce rate for arranged marriages is only 6%.
However, Zoe’s still skeptical. True, she can’t even find a guy to commit to watching an entire TV series with, let alone spending her life with. But that doesn’t mean love is a complete farce, does it?
To her, arranged marriages seem like a whole lot of pretenses, and she’s not entirely convinced they can lead to love (or “happily ever after” for that matter). But since she’s filming a documentary following Kazim’s own journey into an arranged—or, rather, assisted—marriage, she’ll find out for herself just how important love may or may not be.
Zoe interviews several couples whose successful marriages were arranged by their parents. And for the most part, they all agree that because they liked each other and were committed to each other, they were able to eventually fall in love with each other as well.
Zoe gets frustrated when her own mom, Cath, gets a little too involved in Zoe’s own love life. And she worries that Cath places too much value on romantic relationships. Eventually, Zoe learns that this is a misunderstanding and that Cath only got involved because she didn’t want Zoe ever to feel alone.
A family learns how to be honest with one another instead of pretending to be happy. Several family members own up to their mistakes; those admissions pave the way for estranged members to be welcomed back with open arms.
The Khans are “proud” Muslims, in their own words, as are many other characters in this film. As such, we see and hear many references to the Islamic faith, including quotes from the Quran, stories about a pilgrimage to Mecca and prayers to Allah.
A non-Muslim man says he read the Quran before he married his Muslim wife in order to learn her values. And they incorporated certain passages from that faith’s sacred text into their vows.
Though nobody in Kazim’s family wears the burka or hijab, we see other women wearing these coverings in recognition of their faith. We also hear many off-putting jokes regarding these garments.
A woman mentions that her daughter was in a Nativity play. There are a few references to the Harry Potter series. An office is decorated with multiple maneki-neko, Japanese cat figurines that supposedly bring good fortune.
Though we don’t see anything explicit on screen, it’s implied Zoe has sex with a couple of guys. (Twice we see her and her paramours after the act, covered only by sheets or towels.) We see her kiss a few different men throughout the film. And after a drunken hookup with one man, Zoe notices a woman’s clothes in his closet, indicating that he cheated with her.
We learn about other extramarital affairs throughout the film, and Zoe firmly believes that every man would cheat if he believed he could get away with it. (Notably, one man says he would never do that because even if his wife wouldn’t know, he would know. And another man says he wouldn’t cheat because Allah would know.)
We hear some details about the famous marriage (and divorce) of Prince Charles to Princess Diana. Someone notes that the man Diana wanted to marry entered into an arranged marriage himself before eventually divorcing. And although divorce is strongly discouraged, during a wedding ceremony, the presiding imam mentions that it is an option to both parties. Later, a couple does this. (And Zoe’s mom, Cath, is shocked to learn that divorce isn’t a legal battle in her neighbor’s culture.) There’s a joke about a woman’s “second husband.”
Islamic characters abstain from sex before marriage and dress more modestly (with a few notable exceptions). A Muslim matchmaker makes a few crass comments about sex and male anatomy. Some outfits bare more skin, and there are negative comments about the women who dress this way. Zoe’s mom criticizes her for leaving undergarments lying about. Two young girls ask their parents what Viagra is after Zoe jokes about it.
We see sexually charged posters advertising movies and other products and services. We hear references to concubines and brothels. When Cath asks if burkas are uncomfortable, a man tells her that it’s better than what women wear on a certain TV program. And Zoe is astounded that everyone pretends not to have sex (even after a newlywed couple spends their first night together). We hear that one character’s best friend is gay. Someone verbally defends the right for cousins to wed.
A gay man notes that the Quran says he should be stoned for lying with another man. We hear that a woman was buried alive because she wasn’t a suitable match for a man. A movie shows a violent train wreck. A veterinarian jokes that he eats animals he’s had to put down. Cath gives Zoe a rape whistle. We hear a child was slapped for running away from his grandparent in a crowded area. We hear a man died of a broken heart. There’s a joke about assisted suicide.
We hear one use of the f-word and eight uses of the s-word. We also hear a smattering of “b–tard,” “d–k,” “whore” and the British expletive “bloody.” God’s name is abused six times.
Several people secretly indulge in drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Others partake openly, and Zoe is visibly inebriated at least once. A man argues that alcohol has some “medicinal value.”
We hear about the racism Kazim has faced as a Pakistani man. (Most notably, he arrives at an airport obnoxiously early because he knows he’ll be “randomly” selected for additional security checks.)
However, Kazim’s family demonstrates some racism themselves. His parents specifically ask Kazim’s matchmaker not to set him up with an Indian woman. And his mother goes into detail about how dark she would prefer his wife’s skin to be. A woman goes out of her way to make an “upbeat, feel-good flick” only to have it rejected because she’s white. We hear a family disowned their own daughter because she married someone of a different race and religion than her own.
We’re told a bride is crying because it’s tradition to cry when you leave your family to join your husband’s. However, we later learn the woman cried because she was secretly in love with someone else but didn’t want to disappoint her family.
Zoe compares arranged marriages to several negative things, including Stockholm Syndrome, the condition in which a kidnapping victim comes to have affection for and even defend her captors. A man is saddened when he learns his girlfriend feels like she’s settling for him. People lie quite frequently. There are many rude jokes about race and religion. Zoe retells several fairy tales, suggesting that the princesses in those stories had mental illnesses.
A man implies that it’s harder to marry if you’re divorced, disabled or a woman over the age of 30. Zoe and her mom disagree on the topic of motherhood. And though this is eventually reconciled, there are some negative implications about women who pursue their careers instead of building a family. A woman treats her daughter-in-law poorly.
We hear a dog has eaten a woman’s hormonal therapy patches (taken to relieve her menopause symptoms) and dirty underwear. We see this same dog with an unidentified object hanging out of its rear end as it attempts to pass it.
As it turns out, love has an awful lot to do with marriage. You can fall in love quickly and have a very successful marriage. You can fall into “like” and “walk into love” over time. You could both like each other but eventually divorce because one of you is secretly in love with someone else. You could both love each other but still wind up a statistic because there was never any stability in the relationship.
But what Zoe realizes through all these scenarios is that every relationship—whether it be romantic, familial or even just platonic—requires both parties to be vulnerable and to meet each other’s needs.
We see many relationships in this film reconciled when those factors are applied. (One couple even sticks together after a case of infidelity.) But not everyone who enters into matrimony is willing to tough it out. And as for the film itself, I’m certainly not married to it.
Content-wise, we hear some foul language and see some sensual scenes. Muslim culture and values don’t clash directly with Christianity here (in fact, some values mentioned, such as purity before marriage, even align with Christian ones), but the film’s obvious focus on Islam could still be an issue that some potential viewers might not want to navigate.
What’s Love Got to Do with It? isn’t as foul, sensual, violent or problematic as many romcoms. But it also isn’t as clean, innocent or relationally satisfying as it could be.
Emily studied film and writing when she was in college. And when she isn’t being way too competitive while playing board games, she enjoys food, sleep, and geeking out with her husband indulging in their “nerdoms,” which is the collective fan cultures of everything they love, such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate and Lord of the Rings.
