Tobias and Almut met when Almut hit Tobias with her car.
It was an accident. Almut took him to the hospital. And she even invited him to the opening of her restaurant in a few weeks’ time as an apology.
Tobias isn’t sure if he should go. The whole thing is a bit awkward. After all, the only reason he was standing in the street was because he dropped a biscuit. He had the biscuit because he wanted some comfort food. He wanted the comfort food because he was in the process of signing divorce papers in a lonely hotel room.
Yeah, it would just be weird.
But then again, what’s he got to lose?
He attends the opening. He and Almut fall in love. And the rest is … well, it’s not history. Really, it’s just the beginning of an even bigger journey.
Tobias and Almut fall in love. They know they want to spend the rest of their lives together, but they decide not to get married. They move in together.
Then, Almut gets sick. Ovarian cancer. She goes through chemotherapy and gets better.
Almut and Tobias decide to have a baby. It’s a difficult time, requiring fertility treatments. Their daughter, Ella, is born. The three live rather blissfully for several years.
Then, Almut gets sick again. Only this time, her prognosis isn’t nearly as good. In fact, the treatment she’s being offered would put her out of work, cause her to lose all her hair and make her puke her brains out for the next year. And even then, it might not work.
Well, Almut isn’t really interested in a treatment plan that ruins whatever time she has left with Tobias and Ella. So she asks Tobias frankly: Would he rather have 12 months watching Almut in absolute misery or would he rather have six months making the most of every moment they have left?
Tobias and Almut love each other, Ella and their families dearly. They do their best to help Ella understand Almut’s illness. However, the couple goes through some rough patches.
Almut wants to leave her mark on the world before she dies. And she makes some decisions about her future without informing Tobias, because she’s afraid of hurting his feelings. When Tobias learns the truth, he’s understandably hurt by the lie. It’s difficult for him to understand, but he still supports Almut’s choices because he loves her. Tobias and Almut work through things, sympathizing with each other’s points of view and trying to act with kindness.
Knowing that she’ll likely lose her hair during chemotherapy, Almut asks Tobias to shave her head. They turn it into a positive experience, including their daughter and saving Almut’s hair in a keepsake box. Later on, Almut’s colleague, Jade, shaves her own head in solidarity after seeing that Almut is a bit embarrassed.
Almut unexpectedly goes into labor on the floor of a convenience store bathroom. It’s a scary and painful process, but Tobias and the two store clerks (assisted by emergency services over the phone) coach her through it, ultimately delivering a healthy baby girl.
A nurse helps adjust the wig of a chemo patient after the woman dozes off and the wig falls askew. Almut’s oncologist is supportive even when the cancer gets worse. She affirms Almut that “it’s OK not be OK,” given how difficult the situation is. And she encourages Almut not to lose hope.
A man talks about visiting the Mormon Tabernacle in Salt Lake City. Someone says, “Mazel tov.”
Tobias and Almut remove their clothes and have sex several times throughout the film, and we see nudity in these scenes. (Most of these scenes occur in the privacy of their home, but one occurs in a club bathroom.)
We also see some nudity in non-sexual settings. Almut takes a bath (we see her breasts) while in labor to relieve her pain, and Tobias joins her. Later, her bare body is seen in profile (she’s wearing a bra now) as she gives birth.
Both characters are shown in their undergarments in other scenes. Almut sometimes wears cleavage-baring outfits. We see Tobias from the shoulders up as he showers. When Almut meets Tobias in a hospital, he’s seemingly wearing nothing but a robe. And he asks her if she knows what the staff did with his underwear.
Tobias is divorced. He says that he and his ex-wife were in a long-distance relationship after a job opportunity took her to another country (where he couldn’t follow due to his own career). However, she eventually told him it wasn’t working and asked for a divorce.
Almut and Tobias initially decide not to get married, but they move in together and eventually have a daughter. Tobias’ father says that he and Tobias’ mother almost didn’t get married because they “didn’t need a piece of paper” to know they wanted to spend their lives together. Almut and Tobias eventually do make plans to get married after the cancer returns. [Spoiler Warning] But the wedding never happens, since Almut pursues a career opportunity instead, abruptly cancelling their plans.
Almut was in a relationship with another woman before she met Tobias. Pictures show them kissing and hugging. And Almut says the relationship ended because her partner wanted to have children. Jade (Almut’s colleague) is portrayed by someone who identifies as nonbinary, and the character has androgynous features. We hear that Ella’s favorite book is Julián Is a Mermaid, a children’s book with strong LGBT ties.
Tobias unzips his pants at a fertility clinic to give a sample.
Almut accidentally hits Tobias with her car. Later, he recovers in the hospital, heavily bandaged and wearing a neck brace.
Almut experiences a lot of physical pain as a result of her cancer and its treatment. We see needles sticking out of Almut’s and other patients’ arms as they receive chemotherapy. Almut occasionally vomits after her chemo sessions. She also gets nosebleeds, and her arms are bruised from the injections.
Tobias and Almut discuss the possibility of getting a dog to teach Ella about death, in case Almut’s prognosis gets worse. However, Almut clarifies that she means they should adopt an elderly dog that will die of natural causes, not kill one. (They decide not to do this, talking to Ella about death instead.)
We hear 40 uses of the f-word and 15 uses of the s-word. God’s name is abused five times; Jesus’ name is abused four times. We hear a couple uses each of “h—,” “d–k” and the British profanity “bloody.”
Jade asks Almut if she’s using drugs after witnessing Almut vomit and seeing injection bruises on her hands. Almut tells Jade no and explains that she has stage 3 ovarian cancer.
Adults drink at meals and parties.
Much of this story revolves around Almut’s cancer journey. She wonders what quality of life she’ll have if she goes through the various treatments. She worries how the illness will affect her relationship with her daughter. And she’s scared that even after it’s all over, it might not work: She still might die and be forgotten by everyone who knew her. These fears, while understandable, cause Almut to make some selfish decisions (namely lying) that negatively impact Tobias and Ella.
When Almut is initially diagnosed with ovarian cancer, her doctors inform her that removing both of her ovaries and undergoing a full hysterectomy would render the best results, i.e., the least chance of recurrence. Previously, Almut had stated she didn’t want children at all. But when faced with this ultimatum, Almut changes her mind. She knows that Tobias would like to have kids. And she realizes that she might, too. So she opts for a less aggressive treatment, allowing her and Tobias to eventually have a daughter together but also increasing her risk of relapse.
Unfortunately, Almut does experience a relapse. But this time, she’s told the cancer is too large to operate on. She goes through chemotherapy, but instead of shrinking, the cancer metastasizes. She’s encouraged to try chemo again, but Almut doesn’t want to waste what time she might have left.
We learn that Almut’s father got sick when she was young. She quit ice-skating (she was an award-winning figure skater) to help take care of him. But after he passed away, she never returned because the sport felt joyless without him around.
Almut has a hard time getting pregnant after going into remission. Tobias assists Almut with her fertility drug injections (which go into her stomach), and we later see bruises at the injection site.
After Almut goes into labor, we hear some frank terms dealing with the birthing process. It’s a long and painful experience for her. When she and Tobias first leave for the hospital, their car is parked in a tight spot. Tobias patiently tries to inch their vehicle out of the spot, but seeing Almut’s pain, he decides to ram the car out of its spot instead. Then, after arriving, Almut’s doctor sends her back home since she’s not far enough along to deliver.
Upon their attempted return, the couple is delayed by traffic. Almut gets out of the vehicle and wanders into a convenience store, seeking any relief she can find. While there, she goes to use the restroom only to realize that the baby is coming. She’s unable to unlock the door to let Tobias in, so he and the store clerks break the door down (after the key breaks in the lock).
Characters sometimes lie. Almut and Tobias are a bit rude to a magician performing at a family restaurant after he ignores (or perhaps doesn’t hear) their request for some privacy.
There’s a joke about bowel regularity. Someone passes gas. Somebody vomits.
We Live in Time covers a very difficult topic: losing the love of your life.
Granted, Almut and Tobias aren’t married (and I’ll discuss that in a moment), but their journey with terminal illness is likely one that many couples think about: What will we do if one of us gets sick?
Well, for starters, I don’t think you should watch this film. Besides the fact that there are many content issues to navigate, it’s just sad. And it doesn’t really leave you feeling very hopeful.
So if you or someone you know is pondering that question, I would recommend reading Focus on the Family’s article, “When Your Spouse Has a Terminal Illness,” instead.
Now, onto the content reasons why this movie isn’t for everyone.
Almut and Tobias have a very passionate relationship. I.e. they like to take off their clothes and have sex a lot. Even in nonsexual settings, there’s some nudity. And this is certainly a film that could have expressed their love without explicitly depicting their lovemaking.
Language is also a major concern with about 40 uses of the f-word alone. The movie also has a few LGBT characters. And marriage is treated as nothing more than “a piece of paper.” But there are also some issues with the plot.
When Almut’s cancer returns, the couple decides to make the most of their time. For Tobias, this means planning a wedding and focusing on Almut’s health. For Almut, it means leaving something for her family to remember her by.
Obviously, that causes a lot of contention with the couple. And it’s a shame, since all Almut had to do was tell Tobias what she wanted. Instead, she lies to him and goes behind his back. It’s heartbreaking when he finally learns the truth. And his dreams for their future are essentially flushed down the toilet, since Almut makes it clear that her own wishes are going to take priority over his.
But as angry as Almut made me in that moment, I could also sympathize with her. I don’t agree with what she did or how she did it, but I understand her fear. She’s dying. She knows her time is limited. And all the while, she’s under incredible pain and stress from her cancer treatments.
Those aren’t easy scenes to watch. Almut experiences nosebleeds, uncontrollable vomiting and intense bruising on her arms from her chemotherapy. And even then, the cancer gets worse. That’s a lot to go through. So again, while I don’t agree with Almut’s choices, I do understand how her fear overcame her in those decisions.
Like I said, this is a really, really sad movie. And these content issues make the film even more difficult to watch. So if you’re going through something similar, check out that article, as well as Focus on the Family’s other wonderful resources. Chances are you’ll find a lot more hope in the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) than in a film that doesn’t even mention Him.
Emily studied film and writing when she was in college. And when she isn’t being way too competitive while playing board games, she enjoys food, sleep, and geeking out with her husband indulging in their “nerdoms,” which is the collective fan cultures of everything they love, such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate and Lord of the Rings.
Our weekly newsletter will keep you in the loop on the biggest things happening in entertainment and technology. Sign up today, and we’ll send you a chapter from the new Plugged In book, Becoming a Screen-Savvy Family, that focuses on how to implement a “screentime reset” in your family!
