Irving Berlin may be dreaming of a white Christmas, but there’s a certain point when all that snow can just become a hassle.
That’s what the small English town of Wellington-on-Sea is experiencing as its residents endure a sudden blizzard in the days leading up to Christmas.
The blizzard dumps a whole bunch of snow onto the town. It prevents Danny’s father from visiting for Christmas. And with his mom working at her nursing job, as always, it leaves him feeling lonelier than ever.
The snow likewise strands the parents of a hodgepodge of children all led by the rebellious teen Bernadette. The parents had left to celebrate a wedding, but now they’re stuck in a broken-down car on the side of the road. And as Christmas comes around, the kids at home are wondering if, without their parents, Christmas just might be canceled.
Meanwhile, Sam’s busy stressing about her family, too. Sam’s anxiety about Santa keeps her from doing anything naughty; but her twin sister, Charlie, is perfectly happy causing chaos around town. And Sam worries that Charlie’s behavior will leave her sister present-less come Christmas morning.
Yes, it’s a town full of problems. And when Santa does come to town, he may just have to do what he can to help fix them.
Well, Danny learns a lot this Christmas. He’s so busy feeling sorry for himself that he nearly misses the far more difficult day his mother is having. Nearly. Because when Danny talks to the reclusive Headmaster Trapper, she advises him to have more empathy for his mother’s situation, and the two work to make a special Christmas surprise for her.
Meanwhile, Charlie learns quite a bit, too. When Santa comes, he can’t tell which child is Charlie and which is Sam. He mistakenly gives Charlie all of Sam’s gifts and leaves Sam without. But when Charlie wakes up, she recognizes the mistake and voluntarily gives all of “her” presents to Sam before she wakes.
But Charlie’s not the only twin who learns something: Sam eventually discerns that Charlie’s behavior isn’t for the love of chaos; it’s for the love of her. The reason Charlie often acts out is to get back at those who pick on or hurt her sister, hoping that such actions will make Sam happier. While we can’t approve some of the choices she makes, it’s evident Charlie does them from a place of love for Sam.
Each child gets a present from Santa, something that helps them work through the various problems in their lives or help others. Later, the town comes together to find a missing person.
A school puts on a Christmas play written by its students. However, that production has been spearheaded by a couple of students who find its story to be outdated, which is why they perform it with many changes, some of which many will find objectionable:
“Jesus was a cool dude: a beard, long hair, into woodwork. A hipster, basically,” Bernadette opines. “He wouldn’t have wanted us to do the same boring Christmas story year after year, right, parents? He’d want a strictly vegetarian, multi-cultural fun fest with lots of pop songs and stuff about climate change.”
That’s why the production’s shepherds herd vegetables rather than sheep; and they’ve changed the three wise men into the three wise women. Additionally, Charlie plays the role of Joseph.
Later, “Mary” sings Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach” in a musical feature about deciding to keep her baby, holding up a watermelon with a face carved onto it that’s supposed to be baby Jesus. An actor accidentally knocks the watermelon out of her hands, causing it to fall and splatter on the ground in front of a stunned audience.
When Bernadette asks some adults what they thought about the musical, they collectively call the venture pretty bad. “I don’t think Jesus and jokes go together, dear,” one says, while another describes it as being too modern and complains about the changes to the original story.
People sing “Happy birthday, Jesus,” at a couple of points in the film.
An Indian woman, annoyed by the blizzard, says she plans to “pray for reincarnation in a tropical country.” Santa’s sleigh magically flies through the sky. Someone describes a place as a “hellhole.” Another person laments, “God hates me!”
A reindeer complains that Santa is moving too slowly. “My unmentionables are turning into snowballs out here!” He yells.
A boy’s pants fall to the ground while he works on a snowman. Two men shiver in their boxers after giving their pants to their wives so that they can stay warm.
Danny has a serious crush on Sam, and he stumbles on his words while around her.
We hear about how Danny’s dad ran out on his family to pursue a relationship with a much younger woman.
Santa slips while walking across a snowy roof, landing on his crotch and nearly falling off the side. A car crashes, though its inhabitants are largely uninjured. Snow collapses onto a woman. We’re told that a man “tortures turkeys.” Someone gets lost in the blizzard.
God’s name is used in vain five times. Someone says “d–n” once. A boy cries out, “Flipping heck!” A girl describes Santa as the “fat present dispenser.”
In a brief scene, a woman speaks with slurred speech, obviously intoxicated.
A child suffers severe anxiety, worrying about things such as climate change and, well, pretty much everything else. A child belches. A girl complains about various Christmas traditions.
Don’t want to read the book? That Christmas covers three!
Specifically, the movie follows the three storylines in Richard Curtis’ That Christmas, The Empty Stocking and Snow Day, weaving them all together into a packed tale here. And like the books, many of the messages in the film version are sweet—or at the very least, fun.
But this PG-rated Netflix release nevertheless comes with a couple of unwanted “presents.” The most glaring issue is the film’s irreverent and progressive depiction of an alternative Christmas story—a thematic thread that is utterly irrelevant to the rest of the film. A few misuses of God’s name and a crude comment from a reindeer further keep the film from being a perfect winter wonderland.
And that’s a shame. Because without those issues, That Christmas really would be a cute, family-friendly movie. In many ways, it still is; these concerns, compared to others we’ve seen in PG films, are still quite navigable for some families. But because those elements remain, like that last bit of ice that refuses to melt from a snow-shoveled sidewalk, they’re things parents should note lest they slip.
Kennedy Unthank studied journalism at the University of Missouri. He knew he wanted to write for a living when he won a contest for “best fantasy story” while in the 4th grade. What he didn’t know at the time, however, was that he was the only person to submit a story. Regardless, the seed was planted. Kennedy collects and plays board games in his free time, and he loves to talk about biblical apologetics. He thinks the ending of Lost “wasn’t that bad.”
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