The eighth Jurassic Park movie doesn’t bring much new to the franchise as far as content is concerned. But Director Gareth Edwards still packs in plenty more of what we’ve seen before: T. rex-sized peril, unfortunate characters getting gobbled up and some PG-13 profanity.
It’s been 30 years since InGen first cloned dinosaurs back into existence with some stitched-together strings of DNA. And the supersized beasties aren’t faring well. Many of those creatures just can’t handle the climate and the diseases of a human-dominated world.
In fact, the only place on the globe where dinosaurs seem to really thrive is on a band of islands located in a tropical region of the equator. That area sports a sunny, steamy clime that seems most like the world of 60 million years ago.
Of course, it’s also illegal to venture into that area because of InGen lab disasters. And there’s also the fact that if you went there, long before you’d be arrested, you’d likely be eaten.
However, the pharmaceutical group ParkerGenix has decided that they must go there. Its scientists have determined that blood and tissue samples from three specific mega-dinosaurs (one sea dwelling, one flying, one on land) will help them create a medication that would extend the lives of millions around the world.
It would be a crime to pass it up. Of course, ParkerGenix is convinced it would also be a crime to pass up potentially trillions of dollars in profit.
That’s where mercenary-for-hire Zora Bennet comes in. This world-weary and emotionally wounded merc has been trying to find her footing after losing a teammate on a recent botched mission. And the eight-figure payout that ParkerGenix is offering might be just the life boost she needs.
So, Zora gathers her team and sets off with a nerdy (but handsome) dino doc named Dr. Henry Loomis and a just-this-side-of-slimy pharma suit named Martin Krebs. Together, they’ll secretly infiltrate a deserted InGen island base, gather the three samples and be back home before you can say T. rex.
The problem is, just before they make landfall unscathed, this makeshift team receives a distress call from a family whose sailboat has capsized after an encounter with something incredibly large.
These complete and unadulterated idiots were sailing their little vessel from Barbados to Cape Town and decided to sail through a quarantined area of the ocean populated by, oh, I don’t know, massive aquatic dinosaurs!
So now Zora and her crew have to change direction and head off to help them. Krebs just wants to leave the family to its fate. Let some other vessel hear their distress call and help them with their dino problems, he snorts.
But that’s not who Zora Bennett is. And she’s suddenly sure that this mission may not go as smoothly as she thought it would. Zora is absolutely correct!
Zora and her team fight for one another as, one-by-one, teammates are attacked, snatched up and eaten. And the stranded Delgado family—including Reuben; young adult daughter, Teresa; Teresa’s boyfriend, Xavier; and Reuben’s youngest daughter, Bella—fight to keep each other alive as well.
Earlier in the story, Zora feels a bit unmoored after the death of a friend. And she’s advised that she should make choices that mean something going forward. That’s one of the reasons that she changes directions to help the Delgados.
And later, she even considers forgoing her multi-million-dollar fee and choosing a path that would deliver the potential medication to the world for free.
Dr. Loomis declares that killing a dinosaur is a sin.
Early on, Rueban Delgado grouses to daughter Teresa about her lazy boyfriend who’s always walking around shirtless. “You don’t see the side of him I see,” she responds. Younger daughter, Bella, retorts, “The naked side.”
While Zora’s team is looking for another dinosaur sample, they encounter two dinos mating. The massive creatures nuzzle and wrap their long tails around each other as the humans watch their actions. (We don’t see any actual intercourse.)
Teresa steps out of a stream with her wet t-shirt plastered to her curves. Zora wears a formfitting tank top.
Due to Rebirth’s top-of-the-line visual effects, scenes involving dinosaurs range from perilous—with people dangling over roaring and snapping mouths filled with sharp teeth—to incredibly intense attacks and kills.
Characters regularly try to outmaneuver a variety of swimming, flying and raging land dinosaurs that are sometimes hundreds of feet long or tall. Those beasts include a Tyrannosaurus rex, a Mosasaurus, a Spinosaurus, a Dilophosaurus and a Titanosaurus. Then there’s a skyscraper-sized hybrid dinosaur that looks like a multilimbed mutation between a gigantic T. rex and a whale.
During these attacks, we see at least eight people chomped on and eaten. Those kills are often shrouded in smoke, mist or darkness, so the gore is kept just out of sight. But we do glimpse some bloody effects. And in one case, we see a man’s severed arm fall at someone else’s feet. Elsewhere, an exploding helicopter and its crew get crushed in the jaws of a massive creature.
Dinosaurs are shot with large needle syringes. They’re also shot with a handgun. (One is killed.) People fall down a very steep hillside. While rappelling down a cliffside, men are attacked by plane-sized flying dinos. One unfortunate victim gets grabbed by the leg and then gobbled whole. Another man falls off the cliff and lands in the water below.
A large sailboat is struck by a Mosasaurus several times, causing the vessel to capsize. Someone below deck almost drowns before making a narrow escape. A converted military patrol boat smashes up against cliffs and rocks and runs ashore. One character finds the skeletal remains of a dead man. A young girl is apparently grabbed and gobbled by a T. rex. [Spoiler Warning] But we discover she slipped free at the last second.
Large swaths of scenery are ripped, torn and destroyed.
The dialogue contains three s-words, a half-dozen exclamations of “h—” and several uses each of “d–n” and “b–ch.”God and Jesus’ names are both misused a total of five times. (God’s name is combined with “d–n” once.)
When we first meet Zora’s friend Duncan Kincaid, he and other men are drinking booze while gambling. Zora joins in and grabs several bottles of beer.
During the Delgados’ trek to safety, Xavier casually mentions he has some weed.
After agreeing upon a price for their mercenary services, Zora and her teammates run a scam on Krebs to get him to up their fee. Later, Krebs purposely allows Teresa to fall overboard in dino-infested waters. A scene where Xavier is urinating (he’s seen from the waist up) is played for winking comedy.
Back in 1993 when director Steven Spielberg created the film Jurassic Park, it was a very special moment in moviemaking history.
There certainly were and are some flat-out terrifying elements in that original film that rightfully kept family audiences away from the theaters. But all of the major filmmaking elements—tight scriptwriting; well-paced direction; sweeping cinematography; groundbreaking CGI effects; and crisp acting—came together in a nearly perfect blend, when looked at from a pure aesthetics perspective.
Ever since then, though, we’ve seen sequel after sequel in the franchise strive to recapture that lightning in a bottle. But even Spielberg’s own attempt couldn’t quite hit the mark.
However, the crowds keep coming back, looking for a winner. And that’s exactly what Universal hopes will happen with Jurassic World: Rebirth.
For fans considering that pied-piper call, I’ll note that the parts that click in this newest film are its top-of-the-line visual effects and sound design. The CGI of Rebirth is crisp and incredibly detailed; capturing massive, warty dino hides and gaping maws filled with razor-sharp teeth. And in a well-equipped theater, the auditory landscape will physically drive you back in your seat.
However, everything else about this seventh film in the series can feel pretty, well, meh and dino-derivative.
Despite bringing back Jurassic Park’s original screenwriter, David Koepp, the film’s character development is meager at best. The majority of the cast members are paper-thin stereotypes, and even Scarlett Johannson isn’t given enough to convince audiences that she’s ever even seen a world-weary mercenary, nonetheless is one herself. Action sequences pop up that we’ve witnessed a dozen times over. (Flare waved in a dinosaur’s face, anyone?) And we generally don’t care a lick about anyone in this film.
I couldn’t even connect emotionally with the family that seemed designed to be the “heart” of the tale. This group was foolishly thrust into the story, and that narrative decision felt ham-fistedly tacked on. They were used as little more than a source of youthful screams and a good vehicle to promote a new baby dinosaur plushie. (Sold everywhere!)
Of course, if you’re only concerned with screechin-dino jump-scares and unfortunate (though sometimes arrogant) human victims getting munched, open-mouthed, like a well-laden Ritz cracker, then Jurassic World: Rebirth might suit your needs.
I wouldn’t, however, recommend bringing younger viewers to this high-def collection of CGI teeth and wincingly loud roars. I mean, you may be comfy with massive monsters munching, but the kids do need to sleep again at some point.
And a cute plushie might not help much.
After spending more than two decades touring, directing, writing and producing for Christian theater and radio (most recently for Adventures in Odyssey, which he still contributes to), Bob joined the Plugged In staff to help us focus more heavily on video games. He is also one of our primary movie reviewers.
