Sorry, Baby explores the aftermath of sexual assault from a new and unique perspective. Rather than raising a stink, Agnes chooses to bear her pain in silence. But the attack is still deeply traumatizing, and Agnes must figure out what “moving on” looks like for her. The film itself is quite moving, but some serious content concerns, including foul language and sex scenes, not to mention the subject matter itself, will take it out of the realm for many.
Everyone processes trauma differently.
For Agnes, she’s chosen to not talk about her traumatic experience, or even think about it. She’s not sure if that’s right or normal. In fact, she sometimes feels guilty for not thinking about it. But that’s how she’s chosen to move on.
Except that she isn’t really moving on.
Agnes was hurt by someone she trusted. Betrayed. And that person (her college professor) left her with no recourse for his actions. He effectively silenced Agnes.
So is Agnes’ silence on the matter her own decision? Or his? Three years later, she’s still not sure.
But Agnes knows that she can’t keep going on like this. Life is going on around her every day while she’s stuck in the past. She knows she needs to figure this out.
She’s just not sure how.
Sorry, Baby offers a rather unique perspective on trauma. In this story, we have a woman who was sexually assaulted (more on that in Violent Content) but doesn’t act how you would expect. Whether Agnes’ response is normal, weird, right, wrong or something else entirely doesn’t actually matter. What matters is that this film tells the story of victims who might choose to remain silent. It gives voice to victims who might not be comfortable speaking out. And in its way, Sorry, Baby also offers hope to those people—that one day, they might be able to move on themselves.
Agnes’ best friend, Lydie, supports her friend however she can. She tries to comfort Agnes, sometimes making jokes and sometimes just offering a hug. When Agnes adopts a stray cat after the assault, Lydie responds, “Whatever you need.”
Agnes also finds comfort in her neighbor, Gavin. She doesn’t tell Gavin what happened, but he senses that something did. Instead of pressing her, Gavin treats her with respect and kindness. Similarly, when Agnes is called up for jury duty, the prosecutor doesn’t press her for details about the assault (since she cites it as the reason why she wouldn’t make a good jury member), allowing Agnes her privacy.
We hear some brief but earnest conversations about life. Lydie worries that Agnes might have suicidal thoughts, and Agnes says a few times that she can’t picture herself growing old. However, it also seems that Agnes wants to live. She just isn’t sure how to go about that with her trauma hanging over her head.
A sandwich shop owner (and complete stranger) unexpectedly helps Agnes, when she experiences a panic attack while driving and pulls into his restaurant’s parking lot. Initially, he tries to shoo her away since the shop is closed. But when he sees what’s happening, he walks her through a breathing exercise to help calm her down. He offers her a sandwich and she alludes to her traumatic event without giving the details. He then reassures her that it’s OK that she’s not OK yet. And he makes sure that she has a safe place to go before sending her on her way. It’s a short scene, but it clearly impacts Agnes in a very positive and lasting way.
When Lydie tells Agnes that she’s pregnant, Agnes exclaims, “Your body is a miracle.” Lydie expresses a desire to raise her child to be a good person. Agnes rescues a stray kitten.
Someone says, “God bless your lost soul,” as a joke. Gavin says that Agnes’ name means “lamb of God.”
We see couples having sex onscreen in a few different scenes. Critical anatomy is obscured, but we still see a lot of skin and movements. Agnes and Lydie have a conversation about sex early in the film, describing how funny they think people look while having sex. During that conversation, Agnes briefly pantomimes sex as well.
Agnes takes a bath after having sex with Gavin. He asks if he can join her in the tub, to which she agrees. It’s fairly intimate, but we only see the couple’s shoulders and knees. Agnes asks to see Gavin’s privates. Gavin holds Agnes in his arms while seated behind her. And the pair discusses insecurities they feel about their bodies.
Lydie is gay and marries another woman during the film. She is working on a book about “gay New York stuff.” Before she comes out, she tells Agnes that she pictures women while having sex with men. There’s nothing romantic or sexual between her and Agnes, but the two do sleep in the same bed and snuggle a few times throughout the film.
Lydie celebrates her marriage to another woman, shouting the news to some nearby strangers and prompting a child to respond that his dad is divorced. She also has a baby via a sperm donor, and Agnes jokes that perhaps she could have the donor’s baby, too, if they could track him down.
Two of Agnes and Lydie’s former college classmates (both men) are also gay and live together. On an intake form for jury duty, Agnes fills in the bubbles for both female and male, drawing arrows to imply gender fluidity. When she’s asked about this, she’s embarrassed, explaining that it was a joke.
Out of jealousy, a woman brags that she had sex with someone. Lydie frequently jokes about the men she thinks Agnes should sleep with.
Agnes is invited to the house of her professor, Preston Decker, to discuss her thesis. We see her enter the house, and several hours later, she exits the house. Later, Agnes recounts what happened during that time period, explaining in great detail how Decker sexually assaulted her. Viewers should note that while her description isn’t particularly violent, it could recall painful memories for anyone who has experienced something similar.
Agnes struggles to process this event. Although she reports Decker to the university, she doesn’t press criminal charges. And when the university informs her that it won’t take responsibility for Decker’s actions (since he resigned before Agnes reported him), she chooses not to pursue the issue further. She also says she wouldn’t label him as her “attacker,” and that she doesn’t want to ruin his life, since he has a kid. In fact, she hopes that he’ll stop being the sort of person who “does that.”
However, it’s clear that the experience has a lasting negative impact: Agnes hides the boots she was wearing when the attack occurred; she covers the windows of her house to prevent anyone from looking in; she becomes meticulous about locking her front door; she ducks when she thinks she spots Decker in a store; she suffers a panic attack while driving after recalling the event three years later.
A few years after the assault, Agnes and Lydie briefly joke about suicide. But Lydie’s tone turns serious, because she’s truly worried about her friend’s mental state. Agnes reassures Lydie that she isn’t thinking about self-harm or taking her own life. But again, it’s clear that she is still hurting.
Elsewhere, Agnes teaches a class on Lolita, a book predicated on the sexual abuse of a child. A woman makes an inappropriate joke about self harm. Lydie jokes about murdering Decker in an attempt to make Agnes feel better. A man says he was robbed at gunpoint.
Agnes’ cat brings a mouse into her bed one night. Realizing that the creature is dying, she decides to put it out of its misery. She places the mouse inside a paper bag and proceeds to beat it to death with a large book. We hear the poor thing squeaking the whole time, and Agnes clearly feels bad about it.
Nearly 40 uses of the f-word and six of the s-word. We also hear “a–hole,” “b–ch,” “d–k,” “h—” and “p-ss.” And God’s name is abused 20 times, too.
People have a variety of alcoholic beverages at a dinner party.
Natasha, another of Decker’s former students, is rude to Agnes because she is jealous of her. Lydie defends her friend with some passive-aggressive remarks of her own.
A doctor demonstrates poor bedside manner after Agnes’ assault. His tone is blunt, and he reprimands Agnes for bathing after it happened, since that prevents them from using a sexual assault kit to help identify her attacker. He also tells Agnes and Lydie to “calm down,” even though they aren’t acting out of order. Lydie once again defends her friend, calling the doctor out for his unkind behavior.
Elsewhere, two women tasked by the university to investigate Decker are similarly unsympathetic. They seem to imply that because the university asked women to look into the matter (as opposed to men), Agnes should accept the institution’s decision to let Decker go without any repercussions…
People lie. Agnes briefly entertains the thought of setting Decker’s office on fire.
Sorry, Baby isn’t an easy movie to watch. Firstly, it’s dealing with a young woman’s recovery after getting sexually assaulted. We don’t see the attack onscreen, but she’s practically catatonic after it happens. And she relates the assault in great detail to her friend.
Now, while the movie’s focus is largely on Agnes’ long recovery from this traumatic experience—which I found to be deeply thoughtful—that event will likely immediately take this film out of the running for many would-be viewers.
Readers should also note that this film isn’t free of other content concerns. There’s a fair amount of sexual content, LGBT characters and foul language. And those elements should certainly be taken into consideration as well.
Emily studied film and writing when she was in college. And when she isn’t being way too competitive while playing board games, she enjoys food, sleep, and geeking out with her husband indulging in their “nerdoms,” which is the collective fan cultures of everything they love, such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate and Lord of the Rings.
