Ralphie Parker only wants one thing for Christmas.
A model train? Please.
A nice football? No way.
What Ralphie really wants, more than anything in the world, is an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle with a compass in the stock.
With that rifle in his hands, his young life would be complete. He’d be able to chase off any ne’er-do-wells that might come skulking around his family’s Indiana home. Not that any do—at least, not outside of his imagination. But you never can be too safe.
Unfortunately, his glorious, BB gun-toting vision meets resistance. Every time he so much as mentions his Christmas wish, he gets the same dispiriting response from every adult:
“You’ll shoot your eye out!”
But Ralphie’s not giving up that easily. He’s determined to get his mitts on one of those blued-steel beauties. Surely, some subtle hints could sway his parents. A serendipitously placed advertisement or two couldn’t hurt. And, if all else fails, he can even take his request to the Big Man himself: Santa Claus.
Meantime, he’ll have to contend with bullies, triple-dog dares, major awards, decoded messages, a full-body bunny suit and more before Christmas—and, hopefully, that Red Ryder BB gun—finally arrives.
The Parker family is committed to one another in A Christmas Story, even as they often draw each other’s ire. Ralphie’s parents try to correct their sons when they catch them doing wrong. And while they can be strict, they also share some tender moments with their children.
For example, Ralphie’s father gets a lot of joy from seeing his son unwrap his dream Christmas present. And when Ralphie gets caught fighting a bully, his mother calms him down and comforts him.
Later, Ralphie’s parents share a sweet moment while watching snow fall together.
A Christmas Story doesn’t seem all that concerned with the Christmas story. As such, the closest we get to the true meaning of the season is a few faith-based carols heard throughout the film.
Ralphie refers to the Red Ryder BB gun as the “holy grail” of Christmas presents. He also refers to the consumerism leading up to Christmas as a “bacchanalia,” a term that derives its meaning from hedonistic Greco-Roman festivities. Ralphie jokes that, while some men might be Baptists or Catholics, his father was an “Oldsmobile man.”
On Christmas Day, Ralphie receives a pink, full-body bunny suit, made by his aunt. His mother makes him put it on, even though he’s mortified. His father notes that the suit makes Ralphie look like a “deranged Easter bunny.”
Let’s address the leg lamp in the room.
Ralphie’s father is thrilled to have won a “major award,” though he’s unsure exactly what he will receive. It turns out to be a slinky lamp in the shape of a woman’s long, bare leg, cutting off at the very bottom of the buttocks. Ralphie is captivated by the leg and runs his hand along it several times. (His mother must scold him to stop.) When his father displays the lamp for all to see, Ralphie notes that “the entire neighborhood was ‘turned on’” by its “electric sex.”
We get a brief glimpse of what appears to be a picture of nude female sunbathers in a Look magazine. (We see side profiles of bare backs, legs and buttocks.) Ralphie uses a suggestive phrase regarding a “jackrabbit on a date.”
Ralphie fantasizes about warding off a band of marauders with a Red Ryder BB gun. He shoots a few of the goons—one gets tagged on the backside—and they “die” bloodlessly. (It’s all played for comedic effect in the style of an old-fashioned movie featuring melodramatic villains.)
One of Ralphie’s friends is dared (nay, triple dog dared) to stick his tongue to a freezing flagpole. He does, and it gets stuck, requiring the fire and police departments to help get him loose.
Ralphie and his friends are tormented by a bully named Scut Farkus. Farkus twists their arms a few times, gives one a black eye and pelts Ralphie in the face with a snowball. This last assault turns out to be a bad deal for the Farkus, as Ralphie pins and pounds the bully. After Ralphie is pulled away, we see the beaten Scut Farkus with blood on his face.
“You’ll shoot your eye out.” That’s the constant refrain Ralphie hears when he expresses his desire for a Red Ryder BB gun, and he rolls his eyes every time. It’s ironic, then, that when he does get his preferred firearm, he very nearly shoots his eye out. (Again, it’s played for comedy—we only see a little mark under his eye.)
After blurting out a harsh profanity (more on that in the section below), Ralphie wonders what methods of torture he’ll endure as discipline. He falsely accuses his friend Schwartz of teaching him that particular word, and Schwartz receives a beating from his mother (heard over a phone).
Ralphie and Randy squabble. Ralphie describes feeling the “Christmas noose” tightening. His father accidentally closes a door on a hound dog’s ear. Later, a pack of dogs ransacks a kitchen. An overtaxed electrical outlet sparks and fuses blow. A Chinese chef lops the head off a cooked duck. A radio show mentions a pirate being thrown overboard.
Ralphie is helping his father change a tire when Dad spills a hubcap full of lug nuts. Frustrated, he yells, “Oh, fudge.” Only he didn’t say fudge.
That’s how A Christmas Story often handles profanity, hinting at certain bad words without outright saying them. But we still get the point, loud and clear. Ralphie’s dad is easily provoked into weaving, as Ralphie calls it, a “tapestry of obscenity.” His tirades mostly involve sweary-sounding gibberish, but a few real swear words occasionally get through. Same with Ralphie as he pummels Scut Farkus. And again, we understand that they’re not really cursing with nonsense words, though that’s what we hear.
Ralphie’s mother punishes him for his foul language by making him hold a bar of soap in his mouth. He mentions that, over the years, he became something of a connoisseur of soap—implying that his potty-mouth disciplinary moments weren’t all that uncommon. He also shares that he heard his father use the f-word “at least 10 times a day.” Fortunately, we don’t hear that for ourselves—apart from a couple of suggestions of it in the form described above.
All of that said, here are the language concerns we do hear: God’s name is abused eight times. Jesus’ name is misused once. We hear “d–n” nine times and “h—” five times. “Son of a b—h” is used thrice, with an additional use of “b—h.” A kid uses the term “smarta–” twice. Someone says “bugger.” We also get a variety of other words that skirt along the edge of profanity—such as “cripes sakes,” “blasted” and “dadgummit.” A person says that someone can “kiss my foot.”
Ralphie’s parents drink wine. His father offers him a sip—Ralphie is interested—but his mother shuts that idea down. During a daydream, Ralphie is made to look like he’s got a lip full of chewing tobacco from which he occasionally spits.
Ralphie subtly tries to influence his parents to get him a Red Ryder BB gun, which includes fabricating stories. (He doesn’t do a very good job of it.) He also tries to bribe his teacher into getting a good grade on an assignment. After Ralphie receives his soap punishment, he fantasizes about going blind from “soap poisoning,” just so his parents would feel terrible for what they’d done.
When Ralphie’s friend gets his tongue stuck to the flagpole, he is quick to leave him so that he won’t get in trouble. Ralphie’s given the chance to fess up, but he keeps his mouth shut, saying, “Kids know darn well it was always better not to get caught.”
When Ralphie nearly shoots his eye out, he lies and tells his mother that he was hit by a falling icicle in order to keep his new BB gun—and she buys his story.
Ralphie’s mother eventually breaks the leg lamp and pretends it was an accident. Ralphie’s little brother, Randy, rushes to the toilet and pulls his pants down—we see his long underwear. An overdressed Randy is described as “like a tick about to pop.”
We are told that Ralphie’s father “loved bargaining as much as an Arab trader.” When the family goes out to eat at a Chinese restaurant, the staff sings “Deck the Halls” and the film pokes fun at the difficulty they have pronouncing “l” sounds.
Full disclosure: A Christmas Story was a Christmas-season staple in our house growing up and it still has a direct line to my funny bone. The film’s wit and ridiculous antics always put a goofy grin on my face. But it’s more than that. There’s a beating heart beneath this film’s Yuletide hijinks.
That isn’t to say that all parents will be comfortable showing A Christmas Story to their kids, however. There are content issues to consider, mostly notably a fair bit of language for a Christmas family movie. And if you haven’t seen the film for a few years, those moments might catch you and yours uncomfortably by surprise.
And for a Christmas movie, there is no mention of the real reason why we celebrate the season. For as cool as Red Ryder and his BB gun are, he wasn’t the one who came into the world to save it from sin.
But for families that choose to navigate some of this film’s questionable bits, A Christmas Story is packed with sweet and frequently hilarious moments. It delivers a heartfelt ode to family, the wonder of childhood and the joy of Christmas.
Bret loves a good story—be it a movie, show, or video game—and enjoys geeking out about things like plot and story structure. He has a blast reading and writing fiction and has penned several short stories and screenplays. He and his wife love to kayak the many beautiful Colorado lakes with their dog.
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