Contributor: Paul Asay

UPDATED REVIEW: Even the “world’s best boss” can’t stick around forever. And now Michael is no more. But, of course, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

This USA series, like the movie franchise that spawned it, is predicated on wanton, indiscriminate killing.

It’s a pretty place just down the street from Twin Peaks, a county or two over from Gracepoint, and just a stone’s throw away from The Twilight Zone.

UPDATED REVIEW: Is Fox’s Family Guy crass? Vulgar? Offensive? Inappropriate? Of course—and those are perhaps the only things Plugged In and creator Seth MacFarlane would agree on.

Everyone in Arcadia is seeing dead people these days—or people who used to be dead. Why are they all coming back? What does it all mean? If ABC has its way, we might not know the answers for several seasons.

UPDATED REVIEW: Paranormal battles with an alternate reality all but consume J.J. Abrams’ effort at stitching together a Frankensteinian sci-fi police procedural. But the drama’s real showstoppers each week are its blood, gore and squirm-inducing torture scenes.

UPDATED REVIEW: America loves crime procedurals. Critics love The Closer. It’s a perfect combination, right? Right?

The Passage is about as positive a television show predicated on ravenous vampires and the end of the world as I can imagine.

This is a grim story with an uncertain trajectory, and its strong performances (led by Oscar nominee Joan Allen) simply can’t compensate.

It’s been an eventful few years since Hannah Montana launched Miley Cyrus’ career. But while Cyrus herself may have altered her image a bit—some might say more than a bit—her flagship show is still pure Disney.

NBC has taken much of the monster out of the original literary vampire—turning the show itself into the real beast.

What do you get when you put a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost in the same house? No, not Big Brother: Preternatural. An intriguing but murky show on Syfy, that’s what.

This food-centric sitcom may be produced by Disney alum Ashley Tisdale and air on ABC Family. But there’s nothing family or appetizing about it.

For those who’ve longed to see stories illustrating God’s power to help us in our darkest hours, Roma Downey’s new show may be a bright answer to prayer.

UPDATED REVIEW: Yet another knock-off effect of our culture’s vampire craze, this supernatural CW soap idolizes two angsty blood-sucking brothers, both now in their 160s.