Contributor: Paul Asay

The CW’s Beauty & the Beast bears little resemblance to the animated Disney classic.

This television remake of Mel Gibson’s bloody 1987 movie is cleaner than the original, but it still doesn’t totally holster its language or violence.

Born This Way has its problems, but at its core it’s a deeply hopeful show that humanizes a group of people that, for too long, have been marginalized.

Drinking, swearing, hooking up … and lots and lots of Snookisms. MTV’s Jersey Shore relocates to Miami, but the song is still the same.

The title might not sound very exciting. But you should know that these librarians specialize in the Danger Decimal System!

Revenge is a dish best … scrapped. Emily Thorne might be slowly learning that lesson, but not before she and everyone watching her suffers for a good long while.

This is a turbocharged update (or downgrade, as the case may be) of the popular 1982-86 David Hasselhoff series of the same name.

“They’re growing old, not growing up,” Fox’s trailer for this ribald new sitcom proudly—and, alas, accurately—trumpets.

NBC’s Constantine is based on the DC Comics character of the same name. Keanu Reeves, however, is nowhere to be found. And neither is a theologically accurate biblical worldview.

Reality series often cram people into a house and hope they’ll start sparring. On this Spike show, the smackdowns are guaranteed.

Marriage. Divorce. Affairs. Neighborhood plane crashes. All this long-running prime-time soap is missing, really, is an evil twin.

John Malkovich stars in NBC’s take on Blackbeard, the most fearsome pirate to ever sail the Spanish Main. It’s a shiver-me-timbers tale filled with sex, swordplay and even torture, and it should really be rated Arrrrrr!

The Dangerous Book for Boys encourages its viewers to be “dangerous” in the best possible ways.

Downward Dog, based on a web series, is a strange, sweet and sadly problematic summertime sitcom.

The truth is out there. Want to hear it? The X-Files—while revolutionary—has always been a deeply uneven, problematic show.