The media loves chronicling celebrity meltdowns. Readers, eager for a circus-like break from the depressing grind of politics and world events, just seem to love ’em. And even though the individual Hollywood train wrecks generally involve horrendous amounts of drugs and/or alcohol, we the public can’t seem to help rubbernecking over every detail. Maybe it makes a normal life minus all the money, meds and mayhem seem better. I don’t know.
The current meltdown posterboy is, of course, Charlie Sheen. Rumors of crazy actions and addictions have recently caused the producer of Sheen’s hit comedy Two and a Half Men to shut down production, even though the actor claims he’s in total control.
“I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself… It’s the work of sissies,” he told radio show host Alex Jones. “The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5% success rate. My success rate is 100%. Do the math. … another one of their mottos is ‘Don’t be special, be one of us.’ Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bulls—! I cured it with my brain, with my mind. I cured it, I’m done.”
And that’s one of his tamer rants.
Interestingly, though, all these statements spilling from the self-proclaimed “rock star from Mars” have actually turned the 45-year-old actor into something of a pop culture phenom, earning him even more fans.
Sheen recently started his own Twitter account that followers are flocking to (more than 866,000 and counting). And websites dedicated to Sheen’s actions and bizarre promulgations are popping up daily. Livethesheendream.com, for instance, is a site that features a floating Charlie Sheen head that generates quotes from the star with a mouse click. Quotes like:
“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available. If you try it once, you will die.”
The site’s creator, 24-year-old Jarret Moffat, told USA Today that the response has been phenomenal:
“People have been comparing it on Twitter to Chuck Norris,” says Moffatt, referring to a site dedicated to fabricated ‘facts’ about the Walker, Texas Ranger star’s strength and prowess. “Chuck Norris has been made-up stuff, but you can’t make up how awesome Charlie Sheen is right now. You absolutely can’t make that up.”
Well, he’s sort of right: You certainly can’t make this stuff up. People wouldn’t believe you if you did. And lots of people do seem to love Sheen more than ever. One of his Twitter followers opined that they should rename the Oscars “the Charlies.” Another called him “the man behind the legend.”
But I can’t help thinking that it all sounds like a really bad sitcom script.
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