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Don’t Take Media Influence for Granite


HGTV-Dream-Home-kitchen.jpgI never really wanted granite countertops before television.

I was just dandy with our tile countertops. Have been for years. They support pots and pans. They repel spilled apricot juice. They don’t crack under heat. I mean, what else do we really require of our countertops, functionally speaking? I never really thought of counters as status symbols.

That was before my family started watching a pair of shows on HGTV, House Hunters and House Hunters International, wherein people shop and buy homes for our viewing pleasure. These are simple, strange shows, apparently designed to cater to voyeuristic geeks who like to see strangers’ living rooms and decks.

We often watch to roll our eyes at how picky these shoppers can be. “Air conditioning?” we’re liable to tell each other. “That’s a prerequisite for a house … in Norway? Have these people ever looked at a map?”

Initially, one of my biggest quibbles about these shoppers was how obsessed they all seemed to be when it came to the subject of granite countertops. I mean, it’s pretty and all, but I never thought it’d be, like, the main factor when deciding which house to buy. But for some people, apparently it is.

“Oh, look!” they’d coo. “They’ve upgraded to granite! Where do we sign?” Or conversely, they might see dowdy ol’ tile countertops—ones that look suspiciously like mine—roll their eyes and tell their agent, “Well these counters have just got to go!”

At first, I laughed. But then, insecurity began to seep in. Was I wrong to like our tile countertops? Was I out of my mind to, perhaps, even prefer it over granite? What if dinner guests chuckled at our dated counters on their way home? What if, unbeknownst to me, we were becoming known as “the people with the tile in their kitchen?” I haven’t felt that sort of sensation of uncoolness since my parents refused to buy me parachute pants in junior high.

And it seems, perhaps, I’m not the only one coming under the subtle influence of such affluence. According to a new study, folks who live in wealthy countries are more apt to be depressed than those who live in less advantaged locales. After interviewing 89,000 people from 18 countries, researchers found that rates of depression were five times higher in countries such as the United States and France than China or Mexico.

“We were struck by the difference among high-income and low-income countries,” lead author Dr. Evelyn Bromet told ABC News. “Why this may be the case is the $64,000 question. We don’t know for sure.”

I don’t know either … but I have a guess. Maybe it’s because not as many people watch House Hunters in Mexico. Maybe it’s because those who live in less prosperous countries aren’t as likely to turn on the telly and see all the things they don’t have … and are thus able to better appreciate all the things they do have.

The wife and I are thinking of giving our kitchen a little makeover. Our refrigerator is gasping its last, and our linoleum flooring is sporting a few holes. While we’re at it, we’ll probably replace the countertops, too. But, unless my editor gives me a fabulous raise sometime soon, we won’t be redoing them in granite. Our old tile will be replaced with new tile that’ll hopefully work just as well.

Of course, if the tile we pick looks like granite, well, my wife wouldn’t mind …