Comedy
Dead Boy Detectives
Dead Boy Detectives targets teens in style and story. But it comes with very adult, problematic content.
For private investigator Sam Spade, the past has a horrible tendency of never truly staying there.
After Sam placed the beautiful-but-deceitful Brigid in jail following the events of The Maltese Falcon, she didn’t stay there long: She was released on parole, then broke it and fled to Europe. And femme fatale that she was, she convinced Sam (through a large sum of cash, mind you) to deliver her daughter, Teresa, to Teresa’s father, Philippe Saint-Andre, in Bozouls, France—just before Brigid met a tragic end following a train derailment in Istanbul.
Well, Sam couldn’t find the man, though not for lack of trying. Apparently, the deadbeat had skipped town, and no one really cared if he ever came back. What Sam did find was a lovely French woman named Gabrielle with whom he settled down with for eight years, retiring to a French provincial life and placing young Teresa in the care of the local convent.
Then Gabrielle passed away, leaving the retired man all alone in 1963 with nothing but his worsening emphysema to keep him company.
But the past decides to stop by once more when Sam learns that Philippe is coming back to town—though with for good intentions, Sam figures. When the 15-year-old Teresa holds a trust fund full of money in her name that will go to her when she turns 18, it’s not too hard to guess why Philippe has suddenly started writing her letters to reconnect.
Philippe seems to know that Sam could upend his plans. Certainly, the Frenchman calls Sam when he arrives back in town to warn him against pursuing the matter. That said, it’s evident that Philippe’s made many enemies much more dangerous than Sam, a fact made clear when Sam hears Philippe suddenly engaged in a gunfight over the phone.
Not long after, Sam finds an out-of-breath and blood-covered Teresa at his door. She claims that Philippe arrived at the convent, hugged her and took off without so much as a glance backward. But his visit led his pursuers straight to the convent—and that led to the grisly and brutal murder of six nuns. The tragedy shocks the town, and it forces Sam back into a job he’s never truly enjoyed in order to secure justice.
He’s almost guaranteed to dig up plenty of secrets, cause a few more corpses and—past saying “hi” once more—involve a child who looks to be the decade’s newest Maltese falcon.
Other than the fact that Sam Spade is older and the story he’s in is now in color, perhaps the greatest difference between The Maltese Falcon and Monsieur Spade is how willing the latter is to show its viewers problematic content. Consider our blurb for the 1941 classic:
“This classic film noir suggests a glimpse of San Francisco’s dark underbelly in 1941 … without actually showing us,” wrote Bob Hoose in his review of the film.
Well, the same cannot be said for Monsieur Spade. Sure, The Maltese Falcon may have had some deaths, but they were relatively tame. For our Spade in the 1960s, though, when those nuns are killed, we see their robes and faces stained with blood and the bullet holes evident on their foreheads. And whereas The Maltese Falcon showed little more than kissing and made remarks about sex, we see Sam’s naked rear before the first episode’s credits roll.
And it doesn’t take much detective work to learn that Sam’s once-clean mouth now is quick to toss out heavy profanity—in English and in French.
Perhaps a bigger case for the private investigator would be to figure out what happened to its better standards?
A retired Sam Spade goes about his day in France when he learns that a person of interest has finally returned to town.
Sam swims naked in a pool, and we see his naked rear on a couple occasions. When confronted by a man who believes Sam is having an affair with his wife about what he’s doing next to her, Sam responds that he’s “making sweet love” with her. (In reality, the two were just talking.) A man asks if Sam and Brigid were lovers. Sam gets his prostate examined, though nothing is seen.
A nun tells Sam that “God loves Teresa and keeps her safe.” She also quotes the Talmud. After a man doesn’t give money to a beggar, Sam jokes to the man to watch out, or he’ll end up burning in hell.
Six nuns are found dead, their clothing and nearby walls covered in blood. Each of them was apparently shot in the head. A chicken’s head is cut off with a knife. A car crashes after swerving to avoid a fallen tree branch. A man is slammed against a table after he tries to punch Sam. Teresa’s shirt is stained with blood.
People drink alcohol. One man states that he has a hangover. Sam is often seen smoking a cigarette.
The f-word is used six times, and the s-word is heard three times. We also hear “a–” and “h—” once. God’s name is used in vain once, and Jesus’ name is misused twice. A woman is accused of being a “wh-re,” and a man is accused of being a “drunk.”
Kennedy Unthank studied journalism at the University of Missouri. He knew he wanted to write for a living when he won a contest for “best fantasy story” while in the 4th grade. What he didn’t know at the time, however, was that he was the only person to submit a story. Regardless, the seed was planted. Kennedy collects and plays board games in his free time, and he loves to talk about biblical apologetics. He thinks the ending of Lost “wasn’t that bad.”
Dead Boy Detectives targets teens in style and story. But it comes with very adult, problematic content.
An elf mage contemplates on connection and regret as she watches her human friends grow old and pass away.
