Crime
Family Law
If Family Law were put on trial, we’d rule that it is best for parents to cut this show out of their family watchlist.
Wherever Uhtred goes, death follows.
It’s not technically his fault. He lives in England in the late 800s AD, a time where Vikings and Englishmen (and Vikings and Vikings) seemed constantly at war with one another.
For Uhtred of Bebbanburg, it all began when the Vikings slaughtered his brother and father on the same day before taking him as a slave. Then, after growing into adulthood and assimilating into the Viking culture, other Vikings came and slaughtered his new family. To top it all off, his biological uncle wants him dead so that he can officially have the rightful claim to the throne in Bebbanburg. It’s enough to turn anyone fatalistic, and Uhtred is no exception.
But he soldiers on, and throughout the show’s seasons, his loyalties and allies change faster than you can say Bebbanburg. Countless people die, and countless others are mutilated. Kings and lords rise and fall, their decapitated heads often gracing the screen. Yet, though he’s had plenty of close calls, Uhtred’s always managed to avoid the chopping block, whether that be through his superior fighting skills or his thick plot armor.
By Season Five, the show’s final season, Uhtred has had a couple families and maintains a settlement against semi-frequent raids, and he and many other pagan Vikings are becoming increasingly frustrated with the rate at which their Viking kinsmen are converting to Christianity.
But compared to how things have been in the past, Uhtred’s life is quite calm. However, he can’t seem to shake this feeling of paranoia—that it’s only the calm before an impending storm. And as an ally-turned-enemy leads an army of angry Vikings to his doorstep, he’ll find out just how much of a downpour that storm is.
The Last Kingdom explores the bitter conflicts between Englishmen and Vikings, and it provides a drama that dives deep into the conflicts that arose between pagan and Christian Vikings.
“Now wait a minute,” I hear you cry. “Didn’t Plugged In already review a drama that dives deep into the conflicts that arose between pagan and Christian Vikings as well as English-Viking skirmishes?” Why, yes, we did. But as it turns out, Netflix seems to enjoy this genre, providing us with Vikings: Valhalla.
The Last Kingdom is no relation to Valhalla, or its originating show Vikings (on the History Channel and, in its last season, Amazon Prime). Instead, it is adapted from Bernard Cornwell’s Saxon Stories, historical novels that focus on the birth of England. It recounts how the last unconquered Saxon kingdom of Wessex struggled against the raiding Danes to unite England. Though that’s an overarching goal, the story really focuses on the lives of the background characters—told primarily through the life of the English-turned-Viking Uhtred.
And unfortunately for Uhtred, his life is destined to be full of violence and death. Viewers should be prepared to see countless swords thrust through people, heads go flying and people burn to death—and as the seasons go, the violence becomes more and more frequent. As you know, Vikings are notoriously into the whole gaining glory thing, and a quick way to do that is through glorious battle—even if the circumstances aren’t always morally sound.
There’s also a moderate amount of sex and nudity—whether shown or spoken of. These scenes come most frequently as brief sex scenes, and we often see naked rears and breasts. And though Uhtred starts off as a Christian, he quickly becomes a pagan after being captured by Vikings as a child. Uhtred frequently encounters the religious tension that often rises as a result of the two religions clashing with one another, and this tension is a common theme throughout all seasons of the show.
Vikings are famous for being a people enamored with combat. Even when I hear the word “Viking,” the first word that I think of is “pillage.” As such, it should come as no surprise that this series is drenched in blood, death, drinking and sex.
As the Blood Month celebration comes up the Vikings, Uhtred cannot shake his paranoia of an impending attack. Viking warlord Sigtrygga, the son-in-law of Uhtred, struggles with Christian missionaries and the arrival of an unexpected guest.
Uhtred and Finan, a warrior sworn to Uhtred, joke about ale and having sex on a couple of occasions and make a few general comments about sex. Uhtred is seen naked once, with his rear visible as a woman checks him out. Uhtred’s son arrives with his genitals cut off (we see him wearing a garment with a large blood stain centered where his genitals would be). Finan makes the sign of the cross.
Sigtryggr and his wife, Stiorra, complain about the Christians converting many of their people. Stiorra asks if they can beat the Christian missionaries. Sigtrygga jokes that the Christians have spoken too much of forgiveness.
Sigtryggr’s brother, Rognvaldr, makes a lewd insult regarding Jesus and a man’s genitalia and complains about the Christians in a drunken rant. Rognvaldr says the pagan gods chose to save him. It is said that Rognvaldr has killed many men to avenge the pagan gods.
Brida speaks about pagan gods guiding a Seer (who wears a blindfold) to the one whom they should sacrifice. Upon the Seer’s selection, the man jumps into a geyser as a sacrifice to the pagan gods. A volcano explodes after Brida asks for a sign from the gods. Raiders led by Brida attack and kill men with swords, and we see one stabbed in the head. Brida tells Christian Danes that she has arrived to return them to the pagan gods.
Men drink to celebrate Aethelstan’s (the illegitimate son of King Edward) first hunt in “Blood Month.” A man jokes about beasts trying to have sex with Aethelstan. Men ambush Aethelstan during his hunt, and the fight and stab at one another. Aethelstan slits a throat and stabs another with an antler. The men reference celebrating Aethelstan’s takedown of the two men at the Alehouse, and they joke that “he’s still a virgin.”
A missionary preaches Christianity to Danes. A Christian priest prays over a pagan crowd. Later, a Christian priest conducts a service, and when the priest is forced to stop preaching, the Christian attendees begin chanting a hymn.
Drunk women punch each other. Another set of drunk women sing. Birds collapse out of the sky due to the toxins of an erupting volcano.
“A–” is used six times, “b–ch” is used two times and a crude word for male genitalia is used once. “B–tard” is used three times in its non-curse context, and “wh-re” is used once. Turd is used twice. God’s name is misused once.
When Uhtred’s father is killed in battle against Vikings, he is taken into their custody as a slave. Years later, Uhtred has assimilated into the Viking culture, and tragedy once again strikes.
A title sequence shows a cross atop a city.
Uhtred and a priest discuss paganism and Christianity. The priest comments that “St. Cuthbert’s holy hair” lies in the teeth of a comb. The priest asks to rebaptize Uhtred since his name was changed from Osbert to Uhtred, and Heaven may be confused at what happened to Osbert. Uhtred is rebaptized, and he begins to struggle as he’s held under the water during a long prayer. Later, the priest prays over a battle. Ravn, an elderly Viking, offers ale to an underage Uhtred.
Uhtred jokes that his father was having sex with a servant girl. Uhtred fights Vikings as a child, and he is knocked out, and his face is covered in blood. Years later, and we see a shirtless adult Uhtred as he bathes naked in a lake (though nothing critical is shown). Uhtred kisses a woman named Brida passionately, and the two have clothed sex, though we hear them moan briefly. Uhtred kills a man and holds his decapitated head up to show a group of people.
Ragnar, a Viking who takes Uhtred as his slave, slaps Uhtred. Ragnar blinds a child namedchild Sven in one eye for forcefully stripping his underage daughter. He gives Uhtred an amulet of Thor’s hammer, but he laments that Uhtred is Christian. Later, Ragnar makes a joke about flatulence. He threatens to harm the genitals of a priest. Ragnar makes a reference to drinking ale. Later, he convinces Uhtred to marry Brida.
Raiders burn a building filled with people, and they kill those who are running out of it. Ragnar stabs his wife at her request, killing her. He tells his father Ravn, who is dying, to take her to Valhalla, and that he will meet him there. Ragnar fights the raiders while on fire, and he burns to death.
Young Sven exposes the breasts of a girl named Thyra, and Uhtred attacks him. As an adult, Sven threatens to sexually assault Thyra, and he touches her breast and takes her captive.
Uhtred’s brother is decapitated by Vikings, and they hold his head up to show his father. A horse is covered in blood. Vikings show their rears to English spies. Uhtred’s father’s wife says the Vikings are sent by God to punish them for their sins.
Englishmen and Vikings fight in a battle, and many people are sliced, stabbed and killed. Uhtred’s father is stabbed through the throat. After the battle, his body is seen hung on a post with a peg through his mouth holding him. A man is dragged by a horse, and a Viking strikes a woman. A man is decapitated, another is thrown over a banister to his death and a woman is strung up by the rafters of a building and falls to her death.
The s-word is used twice, and “h—” is used once. We hear “d–n” once, and characters insult each other by calling one another “turd.” On one occasion, Uhtred’s father calls the Vikings “the Devil’s turds.”
Kennedy Unthank studied journalism at the University of Missouri. He knew he wanted to write for a living when he won a contest for “best fantasy story” while in the 4th grade. What he didn’t know at the time, however, was that he was the only person to submit a story. Regardless, the seed was planted. Kennedy collects and plays board games in his free time, and he loves to talk about biblical apologetics. He’s also an avid cook. He thinks the ending of Lost “wasn’t that bad.”
If Family Law were put on trial, we’d rule that it is best for parents to cut this show out of their family watchlist.
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