Heartbreak High

Heartbreak High s1

Credits

Cast

Network

Reviewer

Kennedy Unthank

TV Series Review

Is there anything that can destroy a lifelong friendship in the making? Well, yes, apparently, as Amerie quickly discovers when Harper suddenly stops wanting to be her friend without any explanation.

And it’s not just the loss of the friendship that hurts. It causes a whole slew of problems for Amerie, as Harper also exposes the fact that the two of them created an “Incest Map” of their high school—a map that exposes every sexual encounter that’s occurred between the school’s students.

So now, pretty much everyone is furious with Amerie. That includes the school administrators, who have decided to force every student on that map to attend a mandatory Sexual Literacy Tutorial.

They have to attend the class until the school believes they’re mature enough to respect themselves and their fellow students. But when the only thing the teens can think about is sex, that’ll be quite the difficult task.

The Lusts of Their Hearts

Let’s just be blunt about this one: there’s no reason to watch it.

It’s uncomfortable enough when a show’s whole plot is based around high school sex. But when we say that the plot is based around it, we mean that sex is foundational to the show—like, without it, the majority of the show’s conflicts wouldn’t occur.

We’ll see students engaged in all sorts of sexual acts, including those of the same-sex variety. Thankfully, the most critical bits are hidden (except in sex education videos, where we see full-on male and female genitalia), but we will see the rears of a lot of men.

“How does someone not think about sex?” A character ponders. “Nudes are like a human love language,” another declares.

Sheesh.

I wish that was all. Characters swear more often than they breathe, and they drink and do drugs, too. They’re quite despicable to one another, as well, practically searching for ways to shoot others down in order to garner a couple chuckles.

Trust me. Heartbreak High isn’t likely to earn a passing grade from you or your family. Instead, guard your heart and forget about enrolling.

Episode Reviews

Jul. 13, 2022 – S1, Ep1: “Map B**ch”

When the student body discovers Amerie’s “Incest Map” and her authorship, they ostracize her for it. The school begins the Sexual Literacy Training class.

The map is discovered on the wall of an unused part of the school. It shows which students have done sexual deeds with who, and a map key reveals exactly which deed it was in graphic detail. Discussion of the acts referenced on the map is a prominent part of the episode.

We see a male student’s nude rear after engaging in homosexual sex, and we hear sensual noises. Two high school students moan while kissing each other. Two women kiss. We hear mention of STDs, condoms, pornography and bodily fluids. A prominent male character claims to be a woman. A male character and female character discuss the female character’s vagina at length, and the girl takes photos of it to send to him. A male student mimes male oral sex. Harper has a depiction of sex hanging on her locker (nothing is shown). Harper discusses her urinary tract infection while in the middle of a family prayer. A girl looks up photos of vaginas, and she finds a couple of drawings and depictions. Two students are seen having sex (nothing shown). Amerie and a male student kiss.

Harper punches Amerie in the face, causing her nose to bleed. Amerie sneezes blood into another student’s face. Amerie sticks a tampon in her nostril to stop its bleeding. She also throws coffee at a man, and she breaks a school window. A girl asks Amerie if she is contemplating suicide. A student blasts an airhorn at a man for using “he” instead of “they.” Amerie chokes on a fly. A male student steals from another student.

A song lyric references the biblical Methuselah. Harper colors a “Jesus loves me” paper with a foster family. The family prays and makes the sign of the cross. There’s a reference to the devil. A man references “Mercury being in retrograde,” and another group of students discuss astrology.

A student sells drugs, and another references ketamine. Underaged students drink at a party hosted in a cemetery. A woman refers to herself as “woke.” Harper urinates onscreen. A student vomits. Teenagers run from the police.

The f-word is used 18 times, and the s-word is used 22 times. “B–ch” is heard over 15 times, and we also hear instances of “a–,” “d–n,” “h—” and “p-ss.” “C-nt” is used twice, and “d-ck” is heard four times. “Bloody” and “bugger” are both used, too. “Slut” is used nearly 10 times. God’s name is misused 11 times, and Jesus’ name is taken in vain four times. Characters show off their middle fingers, including a young child. Amerie calls a man a “rapist.” Someone else is called “bong water.”

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kennedy-unthank
Kennedy Unthank

Though he was born in Kansas, Kennedy Unthank studied journalism at the University of Missouri. He knew he wanted to write for a living when he won a contest for “best fantasy story” while in the 4th grade. What he didn’t know at the time, however, was that he was the only person to submit a story. Regardless, the seed was planted. Kennedy collects and plays board games in his free time, and he loves to talk about biblical apologetics and hermeneutics. His favorite movie is La La Land.

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