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Bravest Warriors

Credits

Cast

Network

Reviewer

Emily Tsiao

TV Series Review

Chris Kirkman, Beth Tezuka, Danny Vasquez and Wallow are some of the most powerful beings in the universe. Using the power of their emotions, they warp from one planet to another, saving aliens and walloping bad guys.

Unless of course it might be fatal. Or one of them has a date. Or it just seems too hard.

Bravest warriors? Yeah, not so much.

Dumbest Show

Created by Pendleton Ward (creator of Cartoon Network’s Adventure Time), Bravest Warriors is one of the adult animated shows available on YouTube channel Cartoon Hangover.

And truthfully, it’s not any good.

Language can get dicey. Plotlines are convoluted and confusing.  And while romantic moments don’t show more than kissing (which always involve a disturbing amount of tongue), we hear about random hookups, LGBT romances and more. In the second season, Beth is unwillingly impregnated by a godlike being called the Aeon Worm.

Really, the only good thing about this show is that every episode is less than 15 minutes long. But do yourselves a favor: Don’t bother.

Episode Reviews

Nov. 8, 2012 – S1, E1: “Time Slime”

The Bravest Warriors try to stop a time loop controlled by an angry AI.

Two characters are told to “smooch harder” when one of the warriors realizes it’s calming down the AI. Pixel gets jealous of Wallow’s ex-girlfriend when he kisses her. Some outfits show cleavage.

Several characters are killed by the AI, and a woman is vaporized when Pixel tosses her into the machine’s power streams. The Warriors abandon the station after seeing their future selves have been killed by the AI.

There’s a use of “p-ss.” God’s name is misused once. Someone says, “Up yours.” Characters display their middle fingers twice (blurred both times). A character’s name is “Fartsparkles.”

Oct. 17, 2013 – S2, E1: “Aeon Worm”

Beth rescues her dad, who’s been imprisoned by a monster called the Aeon Worm.

Beth goes through an interdimensional door to the “See-Through Zone.” Here, she can telepathically hear the thoughts of her horse. Characters worship the Aeon Worm (a pamphlet says, “Glory to the Aeon Worm”), and it’s later called a god. Beth’s dad tries to indoctrinate her into the worm’s cult, mentioning that she’s meant to be a virgin sacrifice.

We see a character from the shoulders up in the bath.

Beth punches her dad (who appears to be under some sort of mind control), knocking him unconscious before tossing him over her shoulder to rescue him. Beth’s horse dons psychic armor before battling the Aeon Worm, sacrificing himself to give Beth time to escape. Another character is kicked to the side by Beth when he attacks her with a knife.

There are singular uses of “a–” and “h—.” Someone exclaims, “holy ghost.”

Jan. 10, 2017 – S3, E1: “Dan of Future Past”

After time-traveling to the past, Chris tries to help a 7-year-old Danny, who’s being bullied.

A character appears wearing nothing but underpants. Several people comment on a child’s prominent nipples. We hear that two characters are going to kiss. An alien creature has multiple sets of breasts.

Bullies smash Danny’s science project with bats. They use a device that causes people to vomit (which we see). The bullies also pelt several people with pinecones. We hear about other cases of bullying.

Chris fights a giant turtle, stabbing it with his “Emotion Sword,” which, rather than killing the beast, changes its emotions to positive ones. Chris suffers some injuries in the fight, but nothing permanent.

It’s revealed that Chris stole the Emotion Sword, and several different parties try to take it from him, starting a few battles involving missiles. (Some people are killed.)

Someone drinks from a flask. There’s a single use of “h—,” and God’s name is misused once.

Dec. 25, 2017 – S4, E1: “Whispers in the Morning”

After Chris is stabbed with a sword, it’s up to the rest of the Bravest Warriors to save him.

Chris receives his wound in a swordfight. But he’s rescued from total destruction when his friends arrive, shooting his opponent with a blaster and knocking him off a platform. Chris’ friends look a little worse for wear, and one vomits from radiation sickness. They continue to battle aliens (which are talking cats) using a variety of melee weapons while the cats shoot lasers. After escaping the cats, the Warriors blow up the station they were on.

When Chris is stabbed, we’re told his wound is emotional only and requires a kiss of life. While his friends debate who should bestow this honor, Wallow takes initiative, planting a smooch on Chris’ lips. When Chris wakes, Wallow apologizes, stating it was a life-or-death situation (which it was), and Chris says he respects the decision.

Two characters kiss. Chris recovers from his wounds in an immersion tank (his nakedness is strategically hidden by a metal panel). Someone tells Beth it’s time she dated someone who didn’t know her before she hit puberty. And we hear “hubba hubba” when Beth wears a nice dress for a date.

One of the Warriors’ sidekicks mutinies against their temporary ship captain, Catbug. No violence is committed (though the character is armed with a sword) because Catbug thinks it’s just a game.

After capturing the Bravest Warriors and putting them in a tank to die via kitty-litter drowning, the lead cat alien tells the Warriors that he and his minions are leaving to “lick our poopers.” A pigeon passes fecal matter on a chair.

There’s a single use of “h—.” Chris flips off his enemy, but the gesture is blurred out.

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Emily Tsiao

Emily studied film and writing when she was in college. And when she isn’t being way too competitive while playing board games, she enjoys food, sleep, and geeking out with her husband indulging in their “nerdoms,” which is the collective fan cultures of everything they love, such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate and Lord of the Rings.

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