“You have an infection.”
Aza Holmes has to reject that thought on a daily basis.
She’s terrified of bacteria. More specifically, she’s mortified that she’ll wake up with C. diff. colitis, a potentially fatal inflammation of the colon caused by bacteria. That’s why she makes sure to remove her Band-Aids, wash and clean her wounds and apply more Band-Aids day-by-day.
The truth is that Aza struggles with anxiety and obsessive compulsion disorder (OCD). More specifically, it causes her to suffer from intrusive thoughts about how everything she touches might be the thing hosting the bacterium that’ll infect her with C. diff. She knows the prospect is unlikely. She even argues with the intrusive thoughts as she walks to change her Band-Aid. But her “thought spirals” often overwhelm her and force her to act anyway.
And, as it often goes, more things in Aza’s life are primed to spiral out of control, too. She and her best friend, Daisy, see a news story about Russell Pickett. He’s a billionaire who has gone missing—likely because someone tipped him off about his upcoming arrest for fraud and bribery. And the FBI’s offering a $100,000 reward for information on his whereabouts.
Well, neither Aza nor Daisy have a clue where the man could’ve gone. But Aza was once pseudo-friends with his son, Davis, and she and Daisy figure they might be able to use the connection to figure out some information to nab that reward.
But when Aza and Davis reunite, well, the two hit it off quickly. They start dating. And Davis convinces Aza to forget the reward so that the two can focus on their relationship.
But then Aza begins to spiral again. Because relationships mean kissing and touching. And kissing and touching means bacteria. And bacteria means C. diff.
And that means Aza can never have a normal relationship.
Davis treats Aza with kindness as he begins to understand the scope of her mental struggles. He gives her gifts, treats her kindly and listens to her. His affection for Aza is such as she admits that Davis makes her feel like she’s “an acceptable girl to have a crush on.”
Davis likewise doesn’t hide his own needs for connection in the relationship, either, and the two are able to navigate that despite their differences.
Aza’s father died when she was young, and she and her mother struggle with the loss of the family patriarch. She felt more connected with her dad than her mom. But when the two open up about how they both miss him, they find new ways to close that relational gap between them.
Likewise, Aza and Daisy deal with unspoken issues in their friendship, and both apologize to each other when they realize the grievances fall on both ends.
Aza struggles with the issue of control in her life, a theme that is referenced throughout the film. Because of her struggle living with her OCD, she often feels as if something else is forcing her actions even against her own thoughts. Aza relates this idea to the large percentage of our bodies that contain bacteria. “So, if you think about it, there is no you,” Aza says. “You’re not real. … You’re just a glorified bacteria colony.”
To counter this idea, Aza is told a story which connects to the movie’s title. In it, a woman claimed the world was balancing on the shell of a giant turtle—and that turtle was likewise atop another turtle’s shell, and so on and so forth into infinity—“all the way down.” The story is related to Aza’s insecurities about herself, since Aza hopes to one day find the “bottom turtle” that would explain who she really is. Instead, she’s challenged to remember that the turtles are supposed to be infinite, and so she should likewise think of herself as infinite—that is, that she may never reach the foundation of what makes her “tick,” but she can likewise learn to be OK with such uncertainties.
Aza describes her battle with her anxiety as like “living with a demon.” However, in a dark night of the soul moment, Aza tells herself that, rather than being possessed by a demon, she is the demon.
The famous Arthur Schopenhauer quote is referenced: “Man can do what he wills, but he cannot will what he wills.” Likewise, a professor gives a brief talk on the nature of free will and predestination in regard to our actions.
Someone’s said to be “smiling down from the great beyond.” A character blames astrology for another person’s actions. Daisy describes the universe as a sentient entity.
Aza and Davis remove outer clothes down to their undergarments onscreen to swim in a pool together. Later, Davis admits to Aza that he thought her backside looked nice.
Daisy asks Aza if she’s ever received any sexually explicit photos from men, and Daisy then shows Aza an unsolicited photo of one man’s genitals (offscreen) she received. Daisy likewise makes a reference to pornography as she wonders if Aza and Davis might have sex. Aza, for her part, suffers deeply in her relationship, as her fear of bacteria makes her terrified to “swap bodily fluids” with anyone. She describes bacteria as “living, breeding and dying inside of you.”
Aza and Davis do eventually share a kiss. Likewise, Daisy and her boyfriend are caught passionately kissing on a couch. Daisy writes a Star Wars fan fiction story which references an affair. Daisy explains her friendship with Aza is so close that the two will one day share a tombstone with the inscription: “Holmsey and Daisy; they did everything together … except the nasty.” Aza comments on a dress that makes a woman look like she’s “trying to get lucky.”
A man suffers a fatal heart attack. Characters are involved in a car crash, and they’re seen bloodied. We’re told that one of them has internal bleeding.
Aza picks at a callus on her finger, causing it to bleed. Aza swallows hand sanitizer and has to have her stomach pumped.
[Spoiler Warning] We’re told that a man committed suicide offscreen.
The f-word is used once and referenced another time. The s-word is heard more than 10 times. Other occasional vulgarities include “d–k,” “d–n” and “h—.” God’s name is used in vain nearly 15 times. Jesus’ name is likewise used in vain twice.
Aza and her therapist discuss Aza’s habits regarding her prescription medication. Davis explains that his dad “hides cash everywhere like alcoholics hide liquor bottles.”
Daisy’s fan fiction contains a character that’s an insulting caricature of Aza as a way to express her grievances with being Aza’s friend. We hear references to urine. Daisy vandalizes a sign. Aza lies to her mother.
Turtles All the Way Down finds its roots, at the most intimate level, in the author of the eponymous book in which it is based.
According to author John Green (behind other famous teen-centric books-turned-movies like The Fault in Our Stars and Paper Towns), Aza’s OCD is a reflection of his own struggle with the disorder.
“I’ve lived with obsessive-compulsive disorder most of my life, which has been debilitating, often, and even all-consuming,” Green said in an interview. “But OCD is treatable, and I’m living evidence of that.”
Green and director Hannah Marks don’t treat the disorder as something that is completely solved with an illuminating conversation or a well-followed action step. Even as Aza begins to see some hopeful results, she still faces moments of uncertainty and trial. The climax of Turtles All the Way Down, then, is not one of complete relief from mental illness, but of both learning how to live with OCD as well as preventing it from detracting from her worth as a person.
And were we to end it there, Turtles All the Way Down might earn a pleasant thumbs up. But as we’re dealing with turtles rather than hares, we can’t speed through the metaphorical briar patch of content issues.
Aza and Daisy speak about sexual crudities, especially as Aza’s relationship with Davis begins to deepen. Aza and her boyfriend swim together in their underwear. And what’s more, foul language is surprisingly common for a teen-oriented drama.
Green’s stories, full of teenagers spouting philosophical quotes that are as profound as you’d like to take them, certainly captivate his intended audience. And his willingness to write a story so personal to his own experience is commendable.
But for Turtles All the Way Down, we recommend slowing down to digest the film’s content before deciding if it’s for you.
Kennedy Unthank studied journalism at the University of Missouri. He knew he wanted to write for a living when he won a contest for “best fantasy story” while in the 4th grade. What he didn’t know at the time, however, was that he was the only person to submit a story. Regardless, the seed was planted. Kennedy collects and plays board games in his free time, and he loves to talk about biblical apologetics. He thinks the ending of Lost “wasn’t that bad.”
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