JJ just wanted to have a nice, relaxing time in Italy. But terrorists (as well as his stepdaughter, Sophie, for that matter) seem keen to prevent that from happening.
Since the events of the first film in this franchise, JJ’s backed off from field work with the CIA, opting to work as an analyst. And that’s given him some time to be a chaperone on Sophie’s school choir’s trip to Italy. Their school choir has been selected, along with four others, to sing throughout Italy, with a final concert in Vatican City. And JJ’s hoping to use the time to build a deeper, fatherly relationship with her … if only she’d stop feeling embarrassed every time she sees him.
In truth, CIA Director of Covert Operations David Kim agreed to let JJ go on the trip because his own son, Collin, is also in attendance, and Kim would like someone he trusts to keep a close eye on his boy.
Kim’s right to be nervous. Because as Sophie’s choir sings its way closer to Vatican City, a CIA agent with a USB drive containing the locations of 100 buried KGB suitcase nukes gets caught and killed by terrorists.
Of course, they still can’t activate the nukes, since the CIA’s already intercepted the document containing those codes.
But with the CIA Director’s son nearby…well, perhaps they might work something out before things get deadly for him and his choir?
JJ and Sophie have an awkward relationship. Since the events of the first movie, JJ’s gotten married to Sophie’s mother—though Sophie still has yet to really accept him as her father. In pursuit of fixing their relationship, JJ tries to be intentional with Sophie through a variety of means. But it’s not until the two begin to work together to save the day that they begin to bond in a meaningful way.
Though JJ has many blunders, he does manage to provide Sophie with a couple helpful bits of fatherly advice as she ponders her feelings for a boy on the trip.
As you might expect in a movie like this one, various characters risk their lives to save others.
We hear a variety of Christian songs from the choirs when they arrive at the Vatican: “Hear My Prayer” by Moses Hogan references Matthew 25:21 and being free from sin in heaven. The singers likewise sing “Dies Irae” (Day of Wrath), and another song from the South African Xhosa people references the Holy Spirit.
Someone calls Vatican City the “holiest of places,” and another person describes the Pope as “full of himself.” A woman who uses the s-word tries to explain her profanity to some nuns, saying that the penance for using the word is “like three ‘Hail Marys,’ tops.” Before attacking someone, JJ prays, “Forgive me, Lord, for what I’m about to do.”
People wonder about how an abandoned church is relevant to their investigation.
While in Italy, we see a couple of naked sculptures of men from the front and back. During a fight, a man slams his fist into the crotch of one sculpture, causing a piece to fall off. Then, JJ picks up that suggestive piece and throws it at an attacker, causing it to disintegrate into dust into the man’s eye. This provokes a crude comment from an onlooking female character.
Two gay characters make an appearance. It’s implied that a man has a female sex toy. JJ laments that his poor fatherly skills will inevitably result in his daughter eventually becoming a strip pole dancer.
An adult female character instructs a 14-year-old girl on how to kiss a boy, telling her to “use a lot of tongue” and to “get sloppy,” describing it as “exploring that wet hole.” A man and woman passionately kiss in that way. A teen boy and girl share a kiss. Teenagers play spin the bottle. When an affectionate father kisses his son multiple times on the cheek, someone else describes it as “a man making out with his son.”
We hear a reference to female arousal. We likewise hear references to female body parts and functions. There are a couple of allusions to affairs. We’re told someone pulls his pants all the way to the floor to urinate. A man is shirtless.
A man slashes JJ’s chest with a knife. JJ gets shot, too, though he stitches the wound up. He also engages in many fistfights. Two women likewise engage in a fistfight. Two men smack Sophie, and Sophie tasers them. A couple men take hits to the crotch. A man is hit with knives to his hand and chest before perishing.
Someone shoots and kills a woman offscreen. A boy is kidnapped. Guards get knocked unconscious. One person drowns. Trained birds peck at the faces and crotches of male intruders. One bird dies when it attempts to fly through fan blades. A car slams into buildings and other vehicles.
In a dream sequence, a boy gets hit in the shoulder and thigh with throwing knives.
The f-word is used once, and the s-word is heard five times. We likewise hear uses of “a–,” “d–n,” “d–k,” “h—,” “b–ch” and “crap.” God’s name is used in vain more than 20 times.
Underage teenagers drink alcohol, and one girl vomits in a toilet after drinking too much. Someone jokes about purchasing meth. A woman drugs a man’s drink. JJ tells students that he’s brought them alcohol to drink, but he later reveals that the beverages are actually filled with non-alcoholic liquid. A boy gleefully cheers that he’s going to get drunk.
Someone is injected with a neurotoxin. A man is visibly intoxicated.
JJ makes many poor decisions while chaperoning. We hear a reference to urination and defecation. Children are rude to JJ. A woman vomits.
Our review of the original My Spy had us questioning some content choices for a film that seemingly wanted to be family friendly.
Its sequel, My Spy: The Eternal City, abandons all confusion on that matter.
While the level of violence here remains roughly the same, every other content section doubles in length. Sexual content, which was relatively minor in the previous film, ramps up as characters make many crude references and inappropriate jokes. The same can be said for our sections on crude language and alcohol content.
My Spy: The Eternal City is consistent with its predecessor in terms of plot: unsurprising and formulaic—a basic story wherein JJ and Sophie fight for good, bad guys fight for bad and others are more or less along for the ride.
That said, relative to other action flicks supposedly aiming at a young audience, you don’t need to go DEFCON 1 on My Spy: The Eternal City. It’s not the worst it could be. But I doubt it’ll be sitting on your eternal movie shelf.
Kennedy Unthank studied journalism at the University of Missouri. He knew he wanted to write for a living when he won a contest for “best fantasy story” while in the 4th grade. What he didn’t know at the time, however, was that he was the only person to submit a story. Regardless, the seed was planted. Kennedy collects and plays board games in his free time, and he loves to talk about biblical apologetics. He thinks the ending of Lost “wasn’t that bad.”
Our weekly newsletter will keep you in the loop on the biggest things happening in entertainment and technology. Sign up today, and we’ll send you a chapter from the new Plugged In book, Becoming a Screen-Savvy Family, that focuses on how to implement a “screentime reset” in your family!
