Anaconda stars Jack Black and Paul Rudd and their characters as they seek to create a spiritual successor to their favorite horror movie of all time. But when they get down to the Amazon, they find out that massive anacondas are real, and they’re stuck fighting for their lives. Violence is the biggest content concern here, and we see plenty of people slain by the serpent before the movie’s end. Heavy crude language that pushes into R-rated territory slithers its way out of characters’ mouths, too.
In 1997, Anaconda slithered onto screens to tell the story of a documentary crew who sought to tell the story of a lost Amazonian tribe only to find themselves struggling to survive against a massive—well, anaconda.
Despite having a plot about as clever as its choice of name, the horror movie nevertheless found a home in the hearts of people like Doug and Griff. The two friends spent their childhood watching horror flicks like Anaconda, and they tried their hands at making them, too.
But then they grew up, and their dreams faded away. Griff moved away to pursue acting (only to find himself filling background roles). And instead of directing horror movies, Doug directs proposal announcements and wedding videos. It’s not what he wants to be doing, but it keeps his family fed.
That’s when Griff shows back up. He tells Doug that, against all odds, he’s acquired the rights to Anaconda, and he wants to make a spiritual successor to the film.
And just like that, Doug, Griff and their two friends, Kenny and Claire, are on a plane down to Brazil to film their new movie.
The team hires a snake handler, and they rent a large anaconda. They also rent a river boat. They film some scenes, and they accidentally lose the snake.
The snake handler is upset about the loss, but he tells them that, there are plenty of snakes in the rainforest for them to find and use for their film.
Very, very big snakes, in fact.
Doug initially declines the offer to direct the movie, since despite not particularly enjoying his job, he’d still rather play it safe, stay home and support his wife and son. However, it becomes apparent to his wife that Doug loves making movies, and she encourages him to take three weeks off to pursue that passion. Likewise, Doug’s son encourages him to follow his dream, too. In these ways, all three members of the family showcase a bit of sacrificial love in taking care of others.
A man risks his life to save his friends. Another man refuses to assist in the corrupt deeds of an evil person. Throughout the film, members of movie crew compliment each other for their respective creative decisions, and they reaffirm their friendship and love for each other.
Doug requests that the crew “say a prayer to the movie gods” that they wouldn’t have any trouble during their shoot.
Someone says “God bless her.” We see the Christ the Redeemer statue standing over Rio de Janeiro.
Someone mentions a man who began sleeping with his dental hygienist. A scene for their movie requires Griff and Claire to move in for a kiss, though they cut the scene before they actually do.
Nicki Minaj’s sexually charged “Anaconda” plays in the background of a scene as well as the movie credits.
We see the massive snake devour a handful of people, eating them in a single bite. It also constricts some of its victims to death, and it pulls some of them underwater, drowning them. A couple of its victims are later regurgitated, partially digested and covered in sticky bile (we see one such body slammed by the snake against a window at one point). The snake attacks are sudden and intense.
Believing someone to be dead, people strap a dead boar to the supposed corpse’s back as well as a dead squirrel in his mouth in the hopes his body might be used as distracting bait for the snake. Remnants of a sunken boat imply a horrific fate for the many people who had been upon it.
Someone is shot and killed. We see a snake cut into pieces by a boat motor, and we see another snake blown into chunks by an explosion.
Someone considers watching a documentary about a mountain climber who fell to her death. A man tells a story of a woman who had been squeezed by an anaconda so hard that her eyes popped out of her head.
Someone creates a marriage proposal film that references a scene from Alien, in which a hand bursts out of a woman’s stomach holding the ring to propose.
We hear two instances of the f-word, and we hear around 40 uses of the s-word. We also hear “a–,” “b–ch,” “d–n,” “h—” and “p-ss.” God’s name is used in vain roughly 40 times, including seven instances paired with “d–n.” Jesus’ name is likewise used in vain 14 times.
We hear a coarse reference to testicles. Doug and Griff show off a movie they made when they were kids, in which they use frequent heavy language—though all of it had been censored out at the behest of their schoolteacher.
People drink beer and liquor. Someone consumes prescription pills as he drinks. Another man steals those prescription pills to obtain a high. Someone suffers a hangover. A man suggests ingesting a marijuana gummy to go to sleep.
A man admits to having an alcohol problem that caused him problems at his job, but he says that he’s now “Buffalo sober,” which means he only allows himself to drink beer, wine and the lighter liquors.
When someone suffers a spider bite, the others become convinced that someone must urinate on the bite to make the venom inert. This gag goes on for some time, as the one who steps up to the plate admits that he’s “pee shy,” and cannot go when others are in the same room. Eventually, with the encouragement of the others, he urinates on the other man, something we see onscreen (without nudity).
When a woman asks if a movie will be appropriate for her kids, Griff responds (in a much more vulgar way) that he doesn’t care.
The original Anaconda has never exactly been a staple within the movie industry. I’m not confident that anyone would call it a staple within the horror industry, either. And to be quite honest, I don’t even think it’s in most people’s top 10 giant monster movies.
But apparently someone at Sony liked the movie and was happy enough to blow the dust off this intellectual property. And with that, here we are.
Despite its hour-and-a-half runtime, 2025’s homage to the film takes some time to get going. Halfway through the movie, and I was starting to wonder if the promised oversized serpent had overslept. But once the creature shows up, you realize there’s really not much you can do with it to fill the rest of your time; it’s a snake, not the Predator. That may be why the movie’s arguably pointless B-plot about gold thieves simply feels like it was added in to push the movie over the 90-minute mark (so pointless, in fact, that its central character appears in Sony’s official trailer for a mere second.)
When the movie’s namesake eventually does slither out of its movie trailer and onto the set, we’re treated to the content you’d expect: a lot of constricting and engorging of humans. And the snake doesn’t even have to squeeze in order to bring out a plethora of crudities.
The original Anaconda didn’t fare too well when it first released in 1979. And I think this version will likewise find itself forgotten to hiss-tory.
Kennedy Unthank studied journalism at the University of Missouri. He knew he wanted to write for a living when he won a contest for “best fantasy story” while in the 4th grade. What he didn’t know at the time, however, was that he was the only person to submit a story. Regardless, the seed was planted. Kennedy collects and plays board games in his free time, and he loves to talk about biblical apologetics. He’s also an avid cook. He thinks the ending of Lost “wasn’t that bad.”
