Evan Goldman is “just another cool kid” in New York City. Everything is great. He’s got lots of friends and is planning a huge party to celebrate his bar mitzvah.
But then his dad ruins it all by meeting another woman and splitting up their family. Evan’s great life just took a great big left turn. “Mom’s depressed, and her lawyers are mean,” he tells us. “I’m stressed, life is a disaster. And I’m cracking from the strain, going totally insane.”
And to make things even worse, his mom, Jessica, is moving what’s left of their family back to her mom’s house in small-town Indiana.
One resident thinks that it’s the “lamest place in the world.” It’s not just that the town is very small (it boasts a population of 2,246 people after Evan and Jessica arrive). It’s that Evan doesn’t know anyone there.
And what kind of bar mitzvah is one where nobody comes?
In Judaism, the bar mitzvah is a traditional coming-of-age ritual, where 13-year-olds enter religious adulthood. But Evan has a lot to learn about becoming a man in a very short time. He thinks that being noticed and liked are key to being a successful man. But he discovers that being “cool” and popular aren’t nearly as important as being honest, kind and trustworthy. He also learns being a man doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes. In fact, his mom points out that failing is good since it’s how you learn.
On his journey, Evan inadvertently hurts several people he cares about. But eventually, he realizes how badly he messed up and makes amends with those people, apologizing for his mistakes and working hard to make it up to them.
Evan passes these lessons on to his classmates, who then make efforts to right their own wrongs.
Evan and his mom both reel from the divorce. Jessica struggles to figure out what her next step is, and Evan takes his frustration out on her, often acting rudely. However, his mom constantly reassures him that they’ll get through it. And eventually, Evan realizes that since his dad is the one he’s angry with, his dad is the one he needs to talk to. Evan starts acting better toward his mom and grandma and even manages to forgive his dad for the pain he caused. (And while they don’t get back together, Evan’s parents find a way to cordially co-parent their son.)
While divorce is always a difficult, sad end to a relationship, Jessica models how someone can effectively move on from one. She pursues her old dream of becoming a writer and tries to set an example for her son on how even unwanted endings can make for new beginnings.
Evan’s friend, Patrice, has strong convictions about ecological preservation and encourages her classmates to “go green” with an initiative to replace plasticware at their school with biodegradable cutlery. Evan supports her by picking the initiative as his charity project for his bar mitzvah.
Evan’s family notes that they are the only Jews in this small Indiana town. As such, Evan’s bar mitzvah takes place in a Christian church instead of a Jewish temple. Boys and men who attend (including those who aren’t Jewish) wear yarmulkes, we hear Evan speaking Hebrew as part of the ceremony and his rabbi presides.
One of Evan’s classmates complains about being forced to attend Bible studies over the summer. We hear people talk about praying in a few instances. Evan’s rabbi makes jokes about God’s irritation with Evan. A girl jokes that Catholics are miserable. A girl wears a hijab.
Evan’s new town reportedly has a hill where people wait to be “resurrected” and a haunted barn. Song lyrics talk about casting curses. Someone jokes about summoning a demon. There is a joke about possession and a reference to zombies.
One of the film’s main plot points is that Kendra and Brett (two kids from Evan’s school) want to have their first kiss with each other but can’t because of Kendra’s mother. Elaborate plans are made by them and their classmates to make this kiss happen. And eventually, we do see two kisses between teen couples.
We hear about other teens who want to kiss each other. We hear that Evan’s dad left him and his mom to start another family. There are a few exposed midriffs. We hear a joke about brassieres. A boy calls himself a “love god.” We see an LBGT flag in the background in one scene.
A few of Evan’s classmates appear to be members of the LGBT community. And while nothing is ever confirmed on screen, news articles show a casting notice requesting someone “proudly living a gender non-conforming life with non-binary openness” to play the character Zee.
People describe a movie with an axe murderer, and we hear some frightening lines from this film.
A boy throws plastic cutlery at Patrice to make fun of her. We hear that Evan’s mom cut his dad out of all their family photos with her teeth.
God’s name is abused a handful of times. We hear the a-word once as well as “tuchus” (Yiddish slang for buttocks). A song repeatedly uses the word “suck.”
None.
Children openly disobey their parents. We hear that Kendra’s mom took her phone away, but that Kendra would sneak the phone to text Brett. She’s also not allowed to date but pursues Brett anyway. In another instance, Evan and several of his classmates sneak into an R-rated scary movie. (They are eventually busted and rightfully punished for their actions.)
Lucy, Kendra’s best friend, is the school bully. She mocks Patrice, blackmails Evan, sabotages Kendra’s plans to have her first kiss and then treats Brett very poorly when she dates him herself. She also shows blatant disregard for Evan’s culture, incorrectly informing her classmates that a bar mitzvah involves circumcising the attendees.
People lie and manipulate. Strangers bump into Evan on the street without apologizing. A boy says he tried flirting and wound up vomiting.
Netflix’s 13: The Musical is based on the Broadway show 13 (which marked the professional debut of pop star Ariana Grande).
It’s a sweet coming-of-age tale with little concerning content, but it does hit a sour note or two for parents—namely that the parents here are often disrespected and disobeyed.
The whole reason Kendra and Brett conspire with their classmates to have their first kiss is because Kendra isn’t allowed to date. Now, while Kendra’s mom may arguably be a little overbearing, Kendra is still wrong.
She lies to her mom about where she’s going, tricks another mom into helping her sneak out and sneaks into a movie she’s too young to see. And we don’t ever see Kendra apologize to her mom, which is problematic—especially since it’s all over a kiss.
Even some of Kendra’s friends seem to realize how ridiculous they’re all acting. Song lyrics mention how hormones have made one boy a “fool” and a “clown.” And another line—“They’re kissing. They’re dating. It’s so nauseating”—shows that some of them are flat-out sick of the relationship drama taking place.
But since this story is all about growing up, making mistakes and then learning from them, there’s still hope.
Evan, for his part, has a bit of an attitude and takes his teenage angst out on his mom. However, he eventually realizes that she’s struggling just as much (if not more) as he is. She didn’t want to get divorced, but it happened. And now she’s trying to start her life over again, provide for her teenage son and raise him to be a healthy young man.
Evan reconciles with his mom and starts treating her better. He forgives his dad for causing them pain. He apologizes to the friends he hurt with all his plotting (which he only did to gain popularity).
And he realizes that becoming a “man” doesn’t mean you suddenly know everything. You’re still going to make mistakes because you’re still learning. The important thing is that you take responsibility when you do mess up and do your best to make amends.
Emily studied film and writing when she was in college. And when she isn’t being way too competitive while playing board games, she enjoys food, sleep, and geeking out with her husband indulging in their “nerdoms,” which is the collective fan cultures of everything they love, such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate and Lord of the Rings.
