Contributor: Steven Isaac

Each episode begins with the following punch: ‘The crank calls you are about to hear are real. The names have not been changed. Screw the innocent.’

“Is there any way to keep our children safe?” “No,” Creegan replies sadly. “When will that change?” “Never,” intones Creegan.

Jenna Elfman’s a single mom having a baby. But her show’s so trite and terrible she probably won’t even make it to the delivery room before it gets canceled. Or, given the state of TV these days, maybe she’ll have twins.

Producers don’t exactly impose a modern sensibility on young Oliver and his friends, but…

This WB series introduces viewers to the Brown family.

What if you saw a vision of what you’d be doing in six months? Would it be a curse? A blessing? And would you see this show in your future?

What do today’s teenagers really think about? Draw no conclusions based on this TV series, which merely reflects the misguided musings of television provocateur David E. Kelley…

OK. Sure. If by perfect NBC means manipulative, mean, neurotic, confused, immoral and isolated from anything at all that might make an actual relationships work.

Mike Olshansky is a tortured soul. Booted from Philadelphia’s police force for scooping up cash at a crime scene, he drives a taxi for a living—if you can call what he’s doing living.

MTV’s Skins is being called “the most dangerous program ever” by the Parents’ Television Council. And nobody’s arguing. Especially not MTV.

For years, unlikely schoolmates have united to sing and dance their way into your living room and your heart. High School Musical? Nope. This Fox curtain call makes us feel quite a bit less happy than that.

Disgraceful. Exploitative. Unforgivable. That’s what the mainstream reviewers are writing about this crazy CBS crime procedural.

Fifty percent American Idol. Fifty percent The Gong Show. One hundred percent spectacle.

Is Downton Abbey serving sugar or treacle with its afternoon tea?

The fall of 1963 reluctantly yields to the deep winter of 1964.