When it comes to guessing which film will rule at the box office, I hate to admit it but I often get it wrong. This past weekend I speculated that Edge of Tomorrow would grab top honors. Not only was my prediction incorrect, but Edge was even beaten by last week’s Maleficent. Good thing I don’t gamble in Vegas!
The No. 1 film in the nation right now is, as you probably know, The Fault in Our Stars. Even though I didn’t believe it would come in at No. 1, after screening the film I knew for sure it was going to resonate with a lot of young ladies—there was so much to like. The theater audience was probably 85% female, and after the film, I saw many teenage girls wiping away tears. At its core, Fault is a teen love story in which both main characters are worth rooting for. Hazel Grace, 17, loves Gus so much that she’s willing to stay away from him, calling herself a “grenade.” She doesn’t want to explode (meaning die from her Stage 4 cancer) on someone she loves. Gus, on the other hand, is an 18-year-old (who also has had cancer) who seems to have better grasped the whole concept of loving unconditionally. He listens. He cares. He works behind the scenes to do things that will make Hazel Grace feel special. What’s not to like?
In two words: teen sex. It’s my belief (based on God’s Word) that if Gus really loved Hazel Grace, he would have worked diligently to keep the two of them close but chaste. And that if he did pressure her, Hazel Grace would have said a firm “No!” Sadly, the film doesn’t portray it this way. On the contrary, it tries to convince us that the highest expression of these two teens’ love for each other happened when they landed between the sheets while visiting Amsterdam. So disappointing! And especially so because of the good that I’ve already alluded to. These two truly care for each other. They support each other through good times and bad, through sickness and health. To me, their commitment to each other—not their romp in the hay outside of marriage—is the best expression of their love.
Films are highly influential teachers, and they do impact our behavior. I have no doubt many young filmgoers became convinced during Fault that someday when they find that special someone, they will give up their virginity as an expression of “love.” Now, in their minds, the idea of saving sex till marriage has become as unlikely as seeing a real-life Tom Cruise battling space aliens.
Despite what we liked about Fault we gave it a quite low rating, a mere 2 out of 5 for family friendliness. This certainly had a lot to do with the way the flick so strongly (yet subtly) makes premarital sex look so cool, right, sexy, enticing and, well, loving.
And when entertainment glamorizes sex outside of marriage, some young people bite—hook, line and sinker. I was reminded of that not long ago when I read an ABC News story about how one 22-year-old woman explained that TV’s Sex and the City had majorly influenced her in negative ways:
When you’re [a teenager] you try to emulate people on TV. Carrie smoked so I smoked. Samantha looked at hooking up with random people as no big deal and that’s what I did, too.
Now realizing that Sex and the City‘s view is an illusion, that woman regrets her choices. But there’s no way to unscramble scrambled eggs. If this 22-year-old were some type of rarity, I wouldn’t be typing this right now. And while sex with random strangers may (thankfully!) be a stretch for many, the likelihood of sex outside of marriage significantly increases when people believe they’re in love. Furthermore, there have been many studies that have linked sexualized media with actual sexual behaviors. I mention several examples in my Plugged In-Parenting book, or you can take a look at the RAND Corporation’s study titled “Media Influences on Teen Sexual Behavior.”
Are you prepared to honor the Lord with your entertainment choices … so that you can more easily honor Him with your sexual choices?
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