Back when I was a younger dad, I was sometimes a slow learner. One example was when it came to reading with my kids.
My wife was good about it—but me, not so much. It wasn’t until my youngest child came along that the joys of reading together really hit me. I was traveling for work all the time back then, and I began bringing home little books for my young, smiling daughter as a small gift after every weekend trip. Not only was it a treat for her, but it gave us both something to look forward to.
Spending a little time together with a Berenstain Bears book, or the like, instilled a love of reading in her while also establishing a special bond between us. It was a short, enjoyable, cozy experience. In my daughter’s case, it helped make her a voracious reader and boosted her vocabulary skills. And now, years later, she’s the thoughtful sort who expands her world with a good book (while others stare blankly at their screens). And she’s a passionate advocate for reading with her own girls.
Now, I’m not suggesting that my daughter’s brilliance is completely due to a little bedtime reading. But it was a helpful part of the process. And I’m happy that I woke up to the possibilities of what spending a little time with a little book and a little girl might produce.
However, recent studies have shown that today’s parents are tending to push that “reading together” timeslot to the side.
I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Books
Research from HarperCollins Publishers in the U.K. declared that only 41% of parents with kids ages 4 and under read to them. That’s down from 64% in 2012. And that study also suggested that the kids’ attitudes about reading have suffered because of it: Almost 1 in 3 children ages 5 to 13 think reading is “more a subject to learn than a fun thing to do.”
Hey, even appreciation for leisure reading in general is beginning to tank. In 2022, the National Endowment for the Arts declared that only 43% of American adults read at least one work of literature each year. And a New York Times article stated that kids and adults who simply read for fun crashed to an all time low of only 16% as of 2023. While more than 20% of people in that survey said they had a child under 9 years old, only 2% of them read to their kids.
That is a major issue. But why is it happening?
I don’t need a massive study to answer that one. Just look around us. Some people will say “I just don’t have time to be reading.” But I’d suggest that our time has stayed the same, it’s the things we can do with our time that have changed drastically.
Let’s face it, video games, phones and laptops, streaming services of multiple stripes and, of course, the bottomless pool of social media content are constantly singing a siren’s call for our spare, scroll-worthy minutes. The digital media at our fingertips has grown exponentially in just the last few years. And like the frog in a pot, we haven’t noticed the temperature rising.
Or Do I?
The next question then is, “Do I even need to be reading books?” I mean, most people are reading one thing or another all the time. So does it matter if I’m reading a news report, an email or a book?
In short: Yes!
An article from a learning community called Ness Labs sums up numerous studies on the subject. It reports that reading a book engages our brain in ways that an email or a text never could. Books rewire the connections in our brain, leading not only to mental stimulation and vocabulary expansion but improved memory and focus. All things, I might add, that social media tends to reduce.
There’s also the fact that literary works have the great ability to boost our empathy. They let us see the world from someone else’s perspective. And in our increasingly polarized society, that’s a fabulous plus.
Back to the Kids
OK, those are the positives we should be considering when it comes to reading in general. (You know, for us adults.) But if you’re still on the fence about reading to the kids in your life, there are some great benefits to consider there, as well.
I mentioned the bonding part of reading together already—and, boy, that has some long-term benefits. Reading together and then discussing the questions and feelings that the story raises simply opens the door for a relaxed give-and-take connection. And that can carry over into all sorts of discussions, including some that take place later on in life. Reading with kids establishes a sort of conversational muscle memory that helps difficult conversations start, even when it’s not over a children’s book.
Reading a book to your child can also help out at bedtime. It becomes a nice routine that can ease young minds into a calm and thoughtful place. (And I should also note that reading a physical book is preferred over a screen-based one, because the screen’s blue light suppresses the body’s production of melatonin, a hormone that regulates sleep patterns.)
Reading together is also a great way to help kids pick up their own literacy skills. Not only do children watch and listen as you read—gaining a comfort with the rhythms and patterns of language, what words mean and how they’re used—but they are quickly encouraged to read these wonderful things called words themselves. How many times have you seen a child recite a favorite book from memory while they try to grasp the printed words on the page?
New stories also teach new perspectives and help kids apply concepts of right and wrong to their worlds. And, of course, books open imaginary worlds of every stripe to a young mind, encouraging them to seek out new printed stories and ideas on their own.
You Can Do It. You Really Can.
Oh, and reading together doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t need to sound like Morgan Freeman or sell a story like a seasoned thespian. You just need to be there, taking the time and enjoying a good book with a little one you love.
In fact, let me give you a last word of encouragement. The day you suggest a trip to the library and the kids squeal in excitement, like they’re getting a chance to seek out pirate treasure, is the day that you know that your reading time together has hit the mark.
That sort of rewarding day will help you realize that small choices can make a big difference. In fact, those little choices can pay dividends much larger than a dozen other things that’re calling for your time. Trust me, it’s true. It took me a while to see the sense of it. But I’m glad I did.
One Response
Thank you for writing this article and for giving a link to the article from Ness Labs. But I think a lot of parents and kids need more information than this article to help them out in this area. If “The day you suggest a trip to the library and the kids squeal in excitement, like they’re getting a chance to seek out pirate treasure” has arrived, fine. But what do you do if that day hasn’t arrived yet?