It has long been stated by the really smart heavy thinkers in the know that there are only a certain small number of basic plotlines in existence. And these basic stories are said to be repeatedly reshaped into every legend, book, screenplay and brilliant idea scribbled on a diner napkin that we’ve ever known or ever will. So I guess it really shouldn’t be a surprise that everything that’s in the theaters now feels like a remake of some old 80’s flick.
But wait. Before you rush to such judgment, you should know that The Hollywood Reporter just released news that something fresh and daring has indeed been dreamed up. It’s a movie called Beached. It was originally written by Ted Griffin, the same guy who created Ocean’s Eleven, and will be directed by Jon Turteltaub, the guy who helmed National Treasure and The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.
What’s the tale? Well, there’s this chubby 4-year-old who falls overboard while his family is on vacation and … wait for it … he’s raised by whales. But that’s not all. Later in life, he makes his way back to mankind and becomes an Olympic swimmer.
Now you can grouse that the idea was stirred up by all the Olympic frenzy as of late, or bring up pale comparisons to the likes of Aquaman, Tarzan or Mowgli, but I’m still thinking “fresh.”
Actually, I’m not. I’m really thinking, “What?” Now, maybe this is a case of a logline being boiled down so far that its idea just sounds laughable, but surely there has to be better ideas out there. I can’t help but think that you, dear readers, could whip up more creative scripts if you put your mind to it. Got some ideas?
OK, so it’s not a stroll in the park. I remember reading a piece by Christian screenwriter Barbara Nicolosi that included her advice for a wannabe screenwriter. She tweaked a Gospel passage and told the guy—
Give away everything that you have and are now doing so that you can throw yourself into mastering the art form. Go to a top film school. Study philosophy and theology so that you have something real to say. Read lots of classic novels and write thousands of pages so that you achieve command of the language as a creative tool. Get your spiritual and moral act together. Then, come and follow us by moving to Los Angeles.
That may seem like a tough path to follow, but, hey, I’ve got faith in you. Hollywood needs you. And you’re bound to come up with something better than Expendables 16.
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