“No doubt about it: People of all ages are keenly interested in sex.”
These words open the hot-off-the-press book from Focus on the Family, titled, The Focus on the Family Guide to Talking with Your Kids about Sex: Honest Answers for Every Age. The next four sentences read:
That’s especially true of preteens and teens who are just becoming sexually aware. They want to know more about his strange, wonderful, and exciting side of life. There’s good reason for this. The Creator has hard-wired sexual curiosity and sexual longings into the very essence of our humanity.
When I was a curious kid of 11 asking questions, I appreciated my mom talking to me about sex—though she certainly didn’t have this book to help her out.
I had heard a “dirty word” a year or so earlier and asked her what it meant. She told me I was too young, but that she would let me know when I was older. When I pressed for more information, she reluctantly volunteered, “It has something to do with making babies.” A year later she handed me a booklet about sex. I was horrified by what I found in this manual, convinced this making-baby thing was beyond revolting. After I finished this booklet, I asked, “Mom, how many times did you and dad have to do this in order that I could be born?” Her response only added to my overall confusion. “Well, I don’t really know,” my mother said. In my mind, it didn’t seem possible that anyone could forget going through with such a deplorable deed. Was it (hopefully) just once? Twice? Certainly not three times!
Obviously, the volume I read as a little boy didn’t quite give me the full context of what sex is all about. I don’t fault my mother. On the contrary, I appreciate that she was trying … really hard. But the booklet I received was merely a sterile wording of some biological facts. However, it may have been the best thing available to my mother at the time.
Which brings me back to Talking with Your Kids About Sex. Oh, how I would have liked to have had this book around when I was younger. Admittedly, this is a book for parents from Focus on the Family’s Physician Resource Council (along with research from The Medical Institute for Sexual Health). But knowing my mother, she would have flagged parts of it for me to read. At age 11, it would have been great to know that (quoting from the book again) “God designed people to function as sexual creatures and blessed them with the gift of sex as a way to address some of their most fundamental needs: procreation, companionship, and interpersonal connection on the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels. For the Christian, sex is a mystery, a sacred symbol, and a great joy.”
Yes, somehow I missed the “God designed” and “sacred” part and certainly didn’t grasp the “great joy” part. The booklet I read didn’t quite convey that.
In today’s current culture, we hear a lot about the “joy” part, but little about the “God designed” part. The latter is the most important aspect and even the “joy” part has been misconstrued. It would be years later before I grasped these ideas.
I realize we are all busy people and that most of us carefully guard the time we set aside for reading books. But may I suggest that you consider adding this volume to your “must read” list, especially if you’re a parent with younger children? Hopefully, your kids won’t ever have to be as ignorant about the birds and the bees as I was for most of my growing up years!
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