Years ago, my wife, Leesa and I planned a weeklong backpacking trip with two friends. For a number of reasons, we chose the San Juan mountains of Colorado for this getaway: First, the incredible beauty. Second, none of us had ever backpacked there. Third, there’s a narrow-gauge railway that runs through this wilderness area (between Durango and Silverton) and makes a stop to let off backpackers.
Our two friends planned to utilize the train to reach the trailhead. While Leesa and I would have loved to have done the same, we had a dog, and dogs were not allowed. That meant we were forced to drive as close as we could get to the wilderness trailhead to begin our trip. By studying a map, I located a trail that dropped several miles into the valley where the narrow-gauge train ran. We departed from there at the crack of dawn. Since we were both seasoned backpackers, it was easy to estimate our trek to the trailhead to be around two hours, three at the max. We’d get there first so we told our friends we’d meet them when the train arrived. We didn’t mind waiting. Or at least that was the plan.
As it turned out, about an hour into our hike, we took a wrong turn—something we know now, but didn’t at the time. Our well-worn trail began to have sections in which it would simply disappear. But then, we’d go a few more yards, and it would reappear. As we proceeded, the “well-worn” sections became fewer and fewer, and the hidden sections more and more. Looking back, we should have turned around and retraced our steps until we found the real trail. We didn’t do that because we thought we were on it (and that it just didn’t get the foot traffic it needed to look like a “normal” hiking trail). Soon the trail dried up completely and turned into 15-foot cliffs that required basic rock climbing skills (not sure how our dog made it). Our three-hour trail hike turned into an all-day bushwhacking affair. We finally arrived at the narrow-gauge tracks just as it was getting dark.
An interesting aspect of this “adventure” was that we were never really lost. At times we even heard the train whistle in the valley below. Later, we could see the tracks from several vantage points. We knew where we needed to be; we just took the wrong path to get there.
For me, that’s a lot like today’s parenting journey. As fathers and mothers, we know where we need to end up. We know what healthy parenting looks like (for the most part). But sometimes we get off the path. Sometimes, due to our own decisions or things that just happen, we wind up experiencing a few cliffs. Sometimes we bushwhack. And occasionally, where we’re going and how we’re getting there is a lot tougher than it needs to be.
That’s why I like resources that get us back on track. Or keep us from getting off track in the first place. One of those parenting resources is a recent Focus on the Family book and DVD set called Lead Your Family Like Jesus by New York Times best-selling author Ken Blanchard, along with Phil Hodges and Tricia Goyer. (Moms, you may want to print this blog and leave this section highlighted for your family as a not-so-subtle hint for Mother’s Day.)
In the book, the three authors unpack 12 powerful parenting principles to help us thrive. For instance, right out of the gate, Blanchard tells about losing his home to a fire. What grabbed me about his story was that, unlike most of us, he didn’t lose his joy in or after the trial. Why? Because before this tragedy struck he’d already predetermined that life for him fell into one of two categories: Temporary Stuff and Important Forever. For Blanchard, his home belonged solely in the Temporary Stuff category. The personal application here is, of course, obvious. Do we have “stuff” that we view as important forever, when in reality it’s just temporary?
Earlier I mentioned this set included an accompanying DVD. On it, Blanchard, Hodges and Goyer discuss the principles of the book, dividing the material into four areas of distinction: Heart. Hands. Head. Habits.
[View:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxPFYJNLhLs:550:0]
You definitely get the feeling that the trio enjoys sharing their expertise. But surprisingly, they seem equally as comfortable showcasing their struggles. For instance, Goyer mentions how, after a bit of a meltdown over feeling overwhelmed by keeping all the metaphorical plates in her life spinning, her husband sat her down and suggested that they list all the things she was involved in and prioritize them, one to four. Then, he crossed out all the fours and said they were now off her “to-do list” (e.g., taking a daughter who didn’t enjoy dancing to dance lessons). Then, they discussed eliminating a lot of the threes. In short order, Goyer’s “overwhelmedness” turned manageable. It’s a situation in which we all can relate … with a simple solution. Goyer had gotten off God’s “well-worn” trail for her life and was bushwhacking her way through. With a simple change of direction, she found the right trail again. It’s something a good guide book like Lead Your Family can do.
To order the Lead Your Family Like Jesus set, click here.
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