Recently, I was catching up with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while when he dropped this bombshell on me: “My son moved in with a guy and is living a homosexual lifestyle.”
I was floored. A few years back, this young man—I’ll call him James‑‑came to hear me speak on media discernment. It meant a lot to me that James would make the effort (I’m sure there were many things he could have done with his evening). Now, James is living a lifestyle counter to God’s design, and his faith is almost gone.
There was more to this puzzling development. The father went on to say that he thinks the seeds were sewn just before James hit puberty and, sadly, was exposed to gay porn online while doing research for a school project. Maybe something happened in James’ developing brain that day. My heart is still heavy thinking about it. I so want James to thrive, to live God’s abundant life, to make a huge difference for Kingdom purposes. But at least for now, all that has flown out the window as James wrestles with his own sexuality.
Similarly a while back, another friend shared that his daughter’s divorce after a mere year of marriage was rooted in infidelity. What’s more, this friend’s daughter—I’ll call her Erin—contracted a sexually transmitted disease from her husband.
Here was a situation in which two Christians made a public commitment to God, and entered a promising marital relationship. Within a year, chock up another victory for the Enemy. And Erin, no fault of her own, became yet another victim in more ways than one. Unlike James’ backstory, I don’t know if Erin’s ex had an early sexual history. But it’s hard to imagine there’s not more to the story.
The idiom “you can’t unscramble scrambled eggs” comes to mind here. And while true, I can’t help but think that both of these situations (and plenty more I could mention) would be a lot less scrambled if only James and Erin’s husband had valued the Lord’s path over their own hormones. Or if they could go back in time somehow and make different choices. Where would their lives be today? Or more applicable yet, what can Christ-followers do to walk in genuine purity? If I’m a parent, what can I do to increase the likelihood of my child[ren] experiencing God’s wonderful design for sexuality?
Next Wednesday and Thursday (Nov. 13 and 14), Focus on the Family’s Daily Radio broadcast tackles the thorny subject, “Uncovering the Dangers of Hooking Up.” Jim Daly and John Fuller are joined by two members of the Physicians Resource Council, Dr. Freda Bush and Dr. Joe McIlhaney, to discuss their book Hooked, unpacking new brain science which shows the impact of various hormones on the brain.
“That pre-frontal cortex is not fully mature to make [good, rational] judgments until the mid-twenties,” explains Dr. Bush during this two-day Focus radio program. “So as a teenager, you are asking them to make some decisions about what they are doing now without considering what the future consequences may be.”
In addition, this broadcast emphasizes the “hookup” culture rampant on college campuses, and why young ladies are just as likely to be as sexually active as the guys. Don’t think, though, that this is going to be two days of soaking in bad news. There’s a lot of hope here, too!
Obviously, “The Dangers of Hooking Up” is no lightweight broadcast topic. But it is a very relevant one, especially in our sex-saturated culture—a culture that scoffs at the idea of purity or the very concept that sex is God’s idea, His gift.
There are plenty of reasons to live a pure and chaste life, and wait until marriage to express one’s intimate love exclusively to a spouse. Most importantly, it’s the way God designed marital intimacy to work—providing ultimate pleasure, satisfaction and fulfillment. Our part is just to align with His ways and commandments. Going against His plan would be, to me, like deciding my little Hyundai would work best if I stuck the garden hose down the gas spout and turned on the outdoor faucet. No matter how much I believed—and even practiced what I believed—my little Korean sedan’s starter just wouldn’t turn over. If I was finger pointing, I sure couldn’t blame the Hyundai company.
Next week’s two-part radio program lays out our Designer’s plan for sexuality and how believers can walk more victoriously in this area. I’d suggest tuning in. By the way, if you’re not inclined to listen to it via your radio, you can always listen online on the days it airs or purchase a CD version here.
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