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Dang!
‘Dang!’ is Netflix’s newest in a long line of raunchy comedies—a series that, once again, forgets the punchline as it’s telling the joke.
Teagan Tao knows all about hard work. As a competitive rower, she’s spent the last several years waking up early to train, pushing her mind and her body to the wall, even when her muscles are screaming for her to stop. And all that work has paid off: Teagan’s on track to earn a scholarship from a Division 1 school—hopefully Stanford.
Or at least, she was.
Turns out that Teagan’s dad—who loves rowing himself and was always there to coach his daughter and help her test her limits—swindled investors in his hotel chain out of millions. And some of those investors? They were the parents of Teagan’s friends. Then he took off, leaving his wife, Ella, and daughter in the hands of the FBI.
Teagan and her mom aren’t in trouble with the law since they didn’t know about the fraud, but they also don’t have a penny to their name (other than a small amount left in a trust for Teagan’s education). So, they sell everything they own, buy a junky old car and leave California for Ella’s hometown in Massachusetts.
Neither mother nor daughter are thrilled about the change, but maybe they can make something of themselves in Eagle’s Cove.
Teagan immediately sets out to join crew at her new school, Easton Prep. Problem is, Easton Prep doesn’t have a rowing team for girls. The “Harvard of high schools” only started letting girls attend two years ago, and thus far, the female population hasn’t shown an interest in boats—other than riding in them or dating the guys that row them, that is.
Teagan isn’t going to let her love for the sport go to waste, though. She quickly secures a position on the guys’ team, which grants her permission to use the school’s rowing equipment to train on her own. Maybe she’ll even still have a chance of earning a scholarship to Stanford or some other elite college.
And that’s how Teagan winds up as coxswain, a non-rowing member of the team who calls out directions to keep the paddles in unison, for the boys’ team: She proves to the coaches that she knows rowing just as well as, if not better than, the guys on the team.
Now she just needs to figure out how to get those guys to trust her. Oh, and how to navigate the romantic feelings she has for not just one, but two of the boys on crew.
The fact that Teagan is an elite athlete thrust into a system where women’s sports aren’t given the same shake as men’s sports might be the only thing that’s interesting about this series. Because Teagan’s love life is what takes the eight-seat here.
Once again Netflix delivers a teen drama set at an elite high school where an out-of-towner is torn between her love for the entitled rich guy who whines to his mommy and daddy whenever he doesn’t get his way and the poor but kind boy next door who works hard but never seems to catch a break.
Yawn.
Teagan can and should be commended for her dedication to crew, but she’s not really role-model material—nor are any of the kids with whom she goes to school. A lot of the students at Easton Prep are entitled and spoiled. Some are nicer than others, but the entire series definitely tries to sell that lifestyle. Even kids considered “poor” still seem pretty well off.
Language is as salty as the air in the seaside town of Eagle’s Cove. Underage drinking, while technically frowned upon, is very much considered normal behavior, and adults do little to curb it.
Crew Girl steers clear of putting teens into oversexualized settings, but that isn’t to say that sex isn’t on these prep school students’ minds. The guys at Easton Prep just love to make suggestive comments to their female classmates. Making out in public isn’t out of the question. The girls barely bat an eyelash at wearing short skirts or sports bras, and the camera just loves to focus on the shirtless abs of teen boys. And it’s safe to say that everyone is in support of LGBT lifestyles. (It’s strongly suggested that a couple of Teagan’s new pals are gay.)
Teagan and her mom do have some nice moments, especially as they try to support each other through her dad’s betrayal. They both struggle with the fact that even though he abandoned them, they still love and miss him. But again, the show doesn’t seem very invested in this dynamic. Instead, it immediately hints that Ella is ready to move on to a new man.
Just once, I’d like to see Netflix serve a teen-centric show that doesn’t focus on the fickle love lives of teenagers. I mean, Teagan would have been a compelling character without the love triangle. She’s got plenty going for her.
Alas, Crew Girl falls into the same teen romance tropes of so many other dramas on the streamer, capsizing the series.
(Editor’s Note: Plugged In is rarely able to watch every episode of a given series for review. As such, there’s always a chance that you might see a problem that we didn’t. If you notice content that you feel should be included in our review, send us an email at letters@pluggedin.com, or contact us via Facebook or Instagram, and be sure to let us know the episode number, title and season so that we can check it out.)
Teagan and her mom, Ella, are forced to sell their belongings and move back to Ella’s hometown after it’s revealed that Teagan’s dad committed fraud. Teagan secures a position on her new school’s crew team, but getting her teammates to trust her isn’t a row in the lake.
Teagan’s family is very loving and supportive of each other. In narration, Teagan says that her parents are “still in love with each other” with a note of disgust as the camera shows them kissing. However, this dynamic is immediately undermined as Teagan’s dad ditches them, allowing his wife to be taken away by FBI agents. And though her mom is released, their house is practically torn apart by agents searching for evidence.
Teagan and Ella sell all their belongings, buy a car and move cross-country to Ella’s hometown in Massachusetts. Ella never wanted to return there, and she’s embarrassed to ask people she once knew for a job. At her first interview, she lies to the shop owner (a woman she went to high school with) and pretends to be shopping, spending $250 on a display tray that she later tries to hide from Teagan. When Teagan finds out, she scolds her mom, and Ella doesn’t try to correct the rude behavior.
Some of the money Teagan’s dad stole belonged to the parents of her friends—and those friends blame her when the truth comes out. When Teagan’s new classmates learn of the scandal, they mock her for it and call her a thief.
Although Ella is initially in denial about her husband’s betrayal, she eventually opens up about it to Teagan. Both mother and daughter are angry, but they still love and miss Teagan’s dad. And Ella is careful not to say anything too egregious about him to Teagan since she still holds out hope that he’ll return and make things right.
Teagan wears cropped tops pretty much the entire episode. She also wears sports bras and biker shorts in several scenes. Many of the female characters, including teen girls, wear short skirts and cleavage-baring tops. The camera focuses on the bare torsos of multiple teen boys.
A teen couple kisses. Boys at Teagan’s school flirt suggestively with the girls. One guy is reported to have made out with half the girls there. We hear many LGBT-affirming comments. There’s some sexual innuendo mixed into the dialogue. There are several immature giggles about the coxswain position since its nickname is “cox” or “coxie.”
Teens from Teagan’s school have a party where everyone drinks from red plastic cups. One of Teagan’s new friends fills his and Teagan’s cups with beer from a hidden keg. Another guy openly drinks from a tequila bottle, offering to share it with his pals. After something upsets her, Teagan grabs this bottle and drinks heavily. When her ride home falls through, an inebriated Teagan does make a smart choice to call her mom to pick her up. She apologizes to Ella for drinking as she drunkenly stumbles up the front porch steps, and Ella, helping her daughter to sit down, forgives her. The next day, several of Teagan’s classmates are hungover.
Teagan rides her bike into the backside of a pickup, launching her into the bed of the truck. She’s OK, but she’s upset when the driver isn’t more concerned about her wellbeing. (He points out that she hit him, not the other way around.) Teagan falls down while exercising.
Teagan inadvertently insults a new classmate within seconds of meeting her with a mean-spirited joke about girls who love horses. (The girl then says she’s the captain of the school’s equestrian team.) That girl is rude to Teagan from there on out, even humiliating her at a party. A few rich kids at Easton Prep mock students who are on financial aid. At least one guy uses his elite status to get a position on the rowing team that he doesn’t deserve. (His parents are donors to the school, and they complain when the coach tries to demote him.)
One girl is clearly upset that her parents don’t seem to care about her. She says that whenever they have bad news, they hire a celebrity to deliver it to her to “soften the blow.” That’s how she learned her grandmother died, she says, and it’s how they inform her that they won’t be visiting her (she’s a boarder at Easton) for her birthday. She eventually sets her car on fire in an attempt to get their attention.
There’s definitely a sexist attitude at Easton Prep. Although the school is trying to correct this at the administrative level, the male students evidently haven’t gotten the message yet. Several of the guys on crew are upset when Teagan joins the team (and beats them in a race) simply because she’s a girl. One guy even quits the team in protest.
Someone jokes about exorcism. When Teagan sneaks into the school’s boathouse, she gets caught: Her punishment is to scrub the docks every day.
Four uses each of the s-word and “h—,” three of “a–hole,” two each of “b–ch” and “p-ss” and one use of “a–.” God’s name is misused seven times, once paired with “d–n.”
Emily studied film and writing when she was in college. And when she isn’t being way too competitive while playing board games, she enjoys food, sleep, and geeking out with her husband indulging in their “nerdoms,” which is the collective fan cultures of everything they love, such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate and Lord of the Rings.
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