In Disney+’s A Very Jonas Christmas Movie, Santa uses a magical spell to prevent the Jonas Brothers from returning home for Christmas until they can rekindle their sibling bond. Positive messages about making time for family and familial reconciliation are sprinkled throughout the film. However, a few sensual adult situations, some light language and drinking also appear in this magic-centric movie.
The last note hangs over the London crowd as the Jonas Brothers finish out the final song of their Unbreakable Bond tour.
It’s a bit of an ironic name, since lately, the brothers’ relationship has never seemed more fragile.
Nick, for instance, feels frustrated that he’s stuck managing all the logistics of the tour while the other two goof off. Joe, the only unmarried member of the trio, is starting to really dislike how often his brothers describe him as a promiscuous party boy. And Kevin? Well, he just wants to sing lead on a song for once.
With their tour over, Joe—somewhat true to his stereotype—invites his brothers to go out with him to celebrate. But Nick and Kevin are already too busy thinking about flying home the next day to spend Christmas with their respective families, so the middle brother is left to drink alone.
Except, Joe isn’t alone for long: A very jolly-looking man, donning an all-red outfit and a white beard, sits down to chat with him. And Joe admits that, while the Jonas Brothers are doing well, the Jonas brothers don’t do much together anymore. He wishes that they’d spend a Christmas together for once, instead of going their separate ways. And with his mind spoken, Joe leaves the pub.
Well, that’s when the jolly man decides that a little Christmas magic may give the brothers what they need.
“Christmas spirits, I’ve seen something tragic!” He chants, golden magic rising from his hand. “These boys shan’t get home until they rediscover their brotherly magic. Unless they decide to spend Christmas with each other, this spell will keep brother stuck with brother stuck with brother. So, Jonases, rekindle your sibling bond, or you’ll never make it home from this side of the world!”
Moments later, the (empty) private plane meant to fly them home the next day gets struck by golden lightning and explodes on the runway.
The movie encourages familial reconciliation and openness. When we meet Kevin, Joe and Nick, they’re each holding a grudge against the other two for actions and words they didn’t appreciate. But it’s only when these things are brought to the light that the trio is able to talk out their problems and reconcile with one another.
Earlier in the film, we see the brothers find a moment of connection as they reminisce on the past. But they soon begin to argue once more, and they find themselves worse off than before. The scene shows how rekindling familial bonds is usually harder than a one-time positive moment. It often takes a bit more effort, and it typically requires revealing those aforementioned grudges to truly heal.
Central to the story is Santa’s magical “curse” that prevents the Jonas brothers from returning to the United States—so long as they continue to bicker. The magic shows up onscreen as a golden energy, and it foils their plans often. For instance, when they get on a train to Paris to catch a new plane, the golden magic causes the train’s destination to change to Amsterdam.
But the magic isn’t meant for bad. Besides having an altruistic motive, it also protects the brothers’ plane from slamming into the ground at a deadly speed at one point. Eventually, Santa lifts the curse.
Some song lyrics reference Tarot cards.
Joe bumps into a childhood friend, Lucy. The two quickly hit it off, and they decide to strip to their underwear to jump into a canal. We see both of them standing and running around in their underwear as a result. Later, when Lucy states that she views Joe as a pair of shoes that she can’t wait to break in, she realizes the potential misinterpretation: “I don’t want to break you in; that doesn’t make sense.”
A man commissions the Jonases to take “sexy photos” of him in an attempt to woo his ex-girlfriend back. For this, he poses shirtless for the camera, and he lights a candle. We hear that some candles were dubbed the “sexiest candle—two years running.” Unsatisfied with the results, the man states that he’d like to try some “waist-down shots.” (That request never comes to fruition.)
A brother states that fans have websites dedicated to his shoulders. When Joe says that he was out reconnecting with a female friend, his brothers tease him: “How many girls have you ‘connected’ with this month?” They also accuse him of being so philandering that he probably doesn’t even remember the name of the woman he was with.
We see Nick interacting with a man who identifies as a woman, who is likewise played by an actor who identifies as transgender.
When looking online for a potential driver the Jonas brothers could hire, someone says that she’s found them a match, but “he’s probably gonna want to do stuff to your feet.”
Nick and Kevin share kisses with their respective wives. Joe kisses Lucy.
Joe sings about “watching some random dudes who ain’t scoring” at a bar. A woman recounts the time Buzz Aldrin kissed her on the cheek.
When someone wraps Christmas tinsel around his neck, it gets caught on a falling Christmas tree and yanks him to the ground. He hits his head on a table as he goes down, knocking him unconscious.
When forced to stay in a dangerous part of town, the brothers hear a man screaming next door. One plane explodes (it’s empty) and another one crashes, though nobody is hurt. A driver careens recklessly through traffic.
Wolves briefly threaten some people before being scared away.
We hear two instances of both “h—” and “d–n.” Someone says, “Screw you.” We hear the acronym “BS.” Additionally, a themed shirt says, “I don’t give a schnitzel.” Someone tells a man to not “get your panties in a bunch.”
God’s name is used in vain around 20 times.
When asked to go out to celebrate the end of the tour, Nick says that he doesn’t want to return to his family hungover. People drink wine and liquor. In the song “Feel Something,” Joe describes interacting with a woman as “shooting her down with no chaser.” A man jokes about drinking whisky while driving.
A crazed fan yells out, “If my kids fell off a boat, and you guys fell off a boat, I would save you over my children!” The brothers sing: “We’re not on this planet forever; that’s why you should never say never.”
We’re told that Nick, Joe and Kevin each have a stalker count of which they’re keeping track. We learn that Joe is the “face of male botox,” called “Brotox.”
When the Jonas Brothers first arrived on the scene back in the early 2000s, their kid-centric Disney-channel legacy was apparent.
Well, those teenage stars have grown into adults. The band broke up in 2013, but they came back together in 2019. They started families, and they experienced a lot more life. The themes in their songs followed suit, growing to reflect their adult experiences.
But just as Danielle Radcliffe will never be able to shake his Harry Potter fame, that family-friendly Disney legacy still sticks with the band—especially for families whose main exposure to the group was through Disney productions like Camp Rock and Hannah Montana. And if that’s the case, we can understand how a well-meaning parent might see a movie called A Very Jonas Christmas Movie on Disney+ and, thinking back on those simpler days, imagine that the flick would be just as kid friendly as they recalled the Jonas Brothers once being.
That’s simply not the case.
Now, to be fair, there are certainly other Christmas movies and other Disney+ flicks that you could do far worse in watching. What’s more, the message in A Very Jonas Christmas Movie is nice; the jokes are better than we’d expect from a modern Disney production; the storyline is goofy and fun.
But parents shouldn’t go into the movie thinking it’ll be a tame film for their kids. Notwithstanding the magical premise, a man and woman strip to their underwear, the film portrays a transgender character, and some crude language is present, too.
While the movie itself might appeal to a younger audience, some of these content issues will feel like coal in the stocking to parents.
Kennedy Unthank studied journalism at the University of Missouri. He knew he wanted to write for a living when he won a contest for “best fantasy story” while in the 4th grade. What he didn’t know at the time, however, was that he was the only person to submit a story. Regardless, the seed was planted. Kennedy collects and plays board games in his free time, and he loves to talk about biblical apologetics. He’s also an avid cook. He thinks the ending of Lost “wasn’t that bad.”
