What do you call a squad from Interpol, a gang of Thai thugs and a woman tasked with protecting the Fountain of Youth?
You call them the making of a punchline. That is, the line of people wanting to punch Luke Purdue in the face.
Luke earned the wrath of Interpol when he stole a Rembrandt’s Head of Christ from the National Gallery in London. He narrowly dodged the bullets of those thugs when he nabbed their boss’ treasure, El Greco’s Christ Carrying the Cross. And as for that “Protector” woman? She’s probably the most annoying of them all, since she knows what Luke’s really up to with those paintings, and she knows just how dangerous what he’s doing actually is.
You see, Luke is a treasure hunter. He’s been hired by dying billionaire Owen Carver, who has it on good authority that clues for the mythical Fountain of Youth can be discerned on the back of six different artists’ paintings. Given that the cancer-stricken Owen isn’t quite ready to die just yet, it’s a discovery that’d mean the world to him. And as Luke snatches away that Rembrandt, they finally have all six.
Well, if you thought Luke’s actions couldn’t annoy yet another person, you’d be wrong. Turns out, his sister, Charlotte, (retired from the family treasure-hunting business) had a pretty good gig as a curator of the National Gallery. Luke’s most recent burglary puts her on the suspect list and out of that job—something she can’t afford, given the nasty custody battle she’s fighting with her ex-husband.
So, Luke and Owen offer her an olive branch: Come with them, dust off her treasure-hunting skills to help them find the Fountain, and Owen will use his lawyers to ensure Charlotte remains primary caregiver to her son. Begrudgingly, Charlotte agrees.
Of course, that only puts her right next to Luke, who, if you recall, is the subject of an ever-growing punchline.
[Note: Spoilers are contained in the following sections.]
Charlotte calls Luke out for exploiting their father’s words. Their dad, who had raised them up while treasure hunting, told them that the true value in their adventuring was in the journey rather than the prize. It’s why he often left treasures behind instead of collecting them. Charlotte, however, claims Luke has become too focused on the prize. She course-corrects him to care about the growth in the journey again.
There’s a general plumb line throughout the film that some knowledge is not meant for humans to have, and those who cross that boundary will find nothing but ruin—a principle somewhat comparable to passages such as Deuteronomy 29:29 and 1 Corinthians 2:7.
Someone sacrifices his desires to save other people.
Just like an Indiana Jones film, we can’t exactly talk about this movie’s spiritual content without giving away some of the film’s plot elements, so read at your own risk.
Luke and Owen initially started their search for the Fountain of Youth because they believe that every myth and fable comes with a kernel of truth—especially since so many cultures around the world reference it.
We’re told the myth of the Fountain: that it will tempt you with everything you’ve ever desired, and you must drink to obtain those things—including health, wealth and beauty. “But where there is life, there is also death,” Luke finishes ominously. (Strangely, no one seems to be at all bothered by that statement).
We’re told that a Tibetan scroll alleges that the Fountain was intentionally hidden from man by God. When Charlotte scoffs at the Fountain being protected by God, Luke simply says: “The bigger the prize, the bigger the protection.” And, speaking of protection, Luke also talks about a group of people called Protectors of the Path, each of whom holds a piece of knowledge about the Fountain’s location. Their collective job is to keep that path hidden from others.
Interestingly, we see a depiction of the Egyptian goddess Naunet just before our adventurers arrive at the Fountain of Youth. In Egyptian mythology, Naunet is said to have represented the sky over the primordial waters of the world. Given that we see her depicted just before the Fountain of Youth, this may be an indication that the waters in the Fountain are primordial in nature.
The water itself seemingly contains supernatural properties. It responds to touch, and it requires a drop of blood before it does anything. It lifts its subject into the air with watery tendrils, tempting them with power. However, we learn that this power comes at a cost, taking life from those whom you love most, or, if you love yourself most, flooding you with infinite power, and apparently destroying you. A man, identified in the credits only as “The Elder,” claims that humanity will one day be able to receive what the fountain offers (apparently suggesting that we will all one day become gods).
Each of the six paintings Luke and friends collect are depictions of Jesus Christ: Ruben’s The Descent from the Cross, Caravaggio’s The Taking of Christ, Wilden’s Christ and Disciples on the Road to Emmaus, Velázquez’s Christ Crucified, El Greco’s Christ Carrying the Cross and Rembrandt’s Head of Christ. Luke also briefly mentions another painting of Jesus—Levenstede’s The Holy Family with Angels.
There’s a depiction of the Tree of Life. Luke tells a man to be on guard for anything, including the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Luke consults a passage from the 1631 Wicked Bible. We hear the song “Dies Irae” (“Day of Wrath”) play a couple of times.
Luke interprets Egyptian hieroglyphics that all include opposing phrases, such as, “Angels who are demons, salvation mixed with damnation, blessings that are curses.” He also deciphers, “Blessed is he who drinks without thirst.” Someone is healed by the Fountain’s magic. We see the Great Buddha of Thailand. We also see the “gold mask of the sun god Inti.” There’s a reference to the Hindu scripture, the Mahabharata.
We see a couple of paintings that depict naked women with exposed breasts. We also see the Viennese statue of a nude Helios, and his genitals are visible.
A woman kisses a man on the cheek. Luke detects a romantic chemistry between himself and Esme, and he engages in light flirtatious banter with her. At one point, he somewhat jokingly asks if they should just get their first kiss out of the way. And when Esme takes off her jacket to prepare for a fight, Luke responds with a smirk by taking off his scarf.
The adventure takes Luke’s team to the Wicked Bible, a heretical Bible due to a misprint which left the “not” out of “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” A woman also mentions another misprint in Deuteronomy 5, “Behold, the Lord, our God, has shown us His glory and His great a–,” and they all smirk. “I think we’re all looking forward to seeing that,” Luke quips. (In the time this Bible was printed, however, this would have only referred to a donkey, obviously.)
A couple dozen men are shot and killed, though we don’t see any blood. In fact, the only time we do see a small amount of blood is when it drips down a man’s hand for the sake of the plot. Still, bodies slump to the ground, and many people meet their ends. A man falls to his death. A vehicle carrying a few people explodes, presumably killing them. A ship sinks, and a few unconscious men seemingly go down with it. Someone’s energy saps away as he’s repeatedly struck by lightning until he’s a screaming, emaciated corpse.
Someone gets shot multiple times but survives. A man intentionally cuts his hand. Others get knocked unconscious in fistfights. Cars crash. People narrowly dodge knife attacks. A police officer slides off a crashing motorbike. A man takes a glass bottle to the head. Someone chokes Luke with a wire.
We hear one use each of the s-word, “a–,” “h—” and “b–ch.” Someone is described as a “d-ck” twice. God’s name is used in vain four times, and Jesus’ name is likewise abused three times. Luke briefly makes an “f” sound but then restarts his sentence, which may be him refraining from using the f-word.
Charlotte becomes inebriated on champagne. Others drink alcohol, too. A man allows a boy to drink champagne and tells him to keep it secret from his mother (though the boy tells her immediately).
People are knocked unconscious with gas. There’s a reference to a woman hallucinating after licking the back of a toad.
Charlotte describes her ex-husband as a dog, causing Luke to quip, “Does that mean he could lick his own—” before being cut off. Luke steals a painting.
We briefly see the naked depiction of baby Jesus in Hinrick Levenstede’s The Holy Family with Angels painting.
It’s been some time since I’ve seen a film in the treasure-hunting genre.
Despite the presence of classics in the genre such as Indiana Jones and The Goonies and the National Treasures, this style of film never really gets old. There’s something satisfying about watching a group of adventurers decipher ancient documents, solve over-the-top riddles and dodge unnecessarily complex Rube Goldberg death traps.
For the most part, those death traps get stuck on bench-warming duty in Fountain of Youth, instead replaced by a wide range of “shoot first” no-names who only really manage to take out the no-names from the other group of goons. But despite the distinct lack of giant boulders and pit traps, Fountain of Youth still obviously models itself after those aforementioned films. Sure, John Krasinski may play Luke Purdue, but he may as well be called Kentucky Phil or Alabama Smith or something—in other words, bargain-bin Indiana Jones.
Still, Luke models Indy in more ways than just being a self-assured, treasure-hunting tomb raider. Wherever he goes, others find their ends—though, in this iteration, there’s little blood. Likewise, the deeper he gets into his investigation, the deeper into some spiritual gobbledygook he—and we—sink.
Sure, Fountain of Youth won’t be the worst thing that comes out this year, content-wise. In fact, by many accounts, it does better than the average film that Plugged In reviews.
But, like many treasure hunters before it, Fountain of Youth manages to unearth as much trouble as it does treasure.
Kennedy Unthank studied journalism at the University of Missouri. He knew he wanted to write for a living when he won a contest for “best fantasy story” while in the 4th grade. What he didn’t know at the time, however, was that he was the only person to submit a story. Regardless, the seed was planted. Kennedy collects and plays board games in his free time, and he loves to talk about biblical apologetics. He’s also an avid cook. He thinks the ending of Lost “wasn’t that bad.”
