If there are two words parents never want to hear from their children, I suspect “I’m bored” are close to the top of the list. It’s a child’s shorthand for this: You need to provide a stimulating option for me. Right. Now.
My children are now 3, 5 and 7. And I have to confess that the cry of “I’m bored” has been more frequent in our household as July’s languid days stretch on interminably.
In my energized, conscientious and intentional moments, I volunteer to help alleviate that boredom. “What game can we play?” I might ask. Or, “Do you guys want to go outside and ride bikes, or walk up to the park or go swimming?”
But I don’t always have that kind of energy and intentionality in reserve. Sometimes we just need something to do. Something outside the house. Something that perhaps doesn’t require as much energy from me … but sometimes more money.
So maybe we go to the book store. (Their mom and grandmothers are more likely to take them to the library, but I default in a more retail direction.) Or maybe I really cop out badly and take them to get a Happy Meal at McDonald’s.
It turns out I’m not alone in my parental capitulation.
A new study by American Express indicates that parents are spending more than ever trying to ward off their kids’ boredom this summer. The credit card company’s survey of families’ summertime spending habits finds that parents are dropping an average of $958 per child this summer, up 12% from last year and a whopping 59% compared to 2012.
How is that money being spent? Well, 77% of families report taking day trips to pass the time, up 8% from the summer of 2013. Meanwhile, 48% of families have enrolled their kids in summer sports, up 9% from last year and accounting for an average of $187 per child.
Then there are pool and club memberships, which 41% of families have availed themselves of at an average cost of $132 per child. And quite a few families are sending kids to camp, too, both day camps and the sleep-over variety.
In addition to the retail therapies I confessed to above, our family has done most of the things on the study’s official list. Our son is on swim team, and we have a membership at our local outdoor pool. We’ve done camps, too—both kinds. (This week, our oldest is at LEGO engineering camp.) And as summer begins its initial approach for an August landing when school starts again, we’re still eyeing day trips to a water park and a nearby aquarium as possible weekend activities.
On one hand, I don’t think there’s anything necessarily problematic about any of these activities (save perhaps those Happy Meals). On the other hand, I don’t remember my own childhood being quite so crammed with scheduled, regimented ways of keeping me occupied during the summer months. I didn’t do camp, and day trip memories are few and far between. Mostly I just rode my bike, went to the swimming pool and handled my afternoon newspaper route (another anachronism from a bygone age).
Today, it seems, children have higher expectations for what’s necessary to keep them from whining. And parents, this study would indicate, are willing to pay for solutions to that “problem.”
I suspect there are plenty of factors contributing to this trend. We perceive the world as a more dangerous place than we did 30 years ago (even if statistics largely suggest otherwise). So giving free rein to (older) kids for hours at a time is a thing of the past.
Then there’s the attention-fragmenting influence of technology, from smart phones to video game consoles to hundreds of channels of television, all of which conspire to condition us (adults and kids alike) to crave constant stimulation. It may be hard to measure the absolute, cumulative influence of how technology is contributing to more cries of “I’m bored,” but from my own experience, I’d argue it’s significantly in the mix.
I don’t think there’s any way to completely put the genie back in the bottle, technologically speaking. But the more that I, as a parent, can commit to intentionally connecting with my kids and taking the time to plan out activities ahead of time, the less likely I (along with my wife) am to give in to easy-but-expensive ways of combatting boredom that involve throwing money at the problem instead of engaging relationally.
That may sound like an old-fashioned response to a new-school problem. But I’m pretty sure that there’s no easy fix here other than responding to “I’m bored” with creative determination and a willingness to say, “Let’s see what we can do about that” … without spending money.
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