Put Those Oscars Back Where They Came From or So Help Me!

I didn’t watch the Academy Awards telecast on Sunday this year. Or last year. Or the year before.

Never mind that as the online editor for Plugged In, I really do need to know who won, what was said and how things went. I just couldn’t bring myself to care about all that until first thing Monday morning.

It’s just not watchable anymore.

And it’s not just because I have a tweenage daughter I’m trying my hardest to raise right in a world saturated with wrong. It’s me, too.

I used to watch pretty much every single year. You know, during those Billy Crystal days of yore. It wasn’t the absolute cleanest five-and-a-half hours on TV even back then, of course. But it wasn’t even close to what’s passing for award-show “greatness” now.

Didn’t catch it yourself this year? Read a few lines of our Culture Clip describing what happened:

[Host Seth] MacFarlane sang and danced with the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles as they paid “tribute” to actresses who’d gone topless onscreen in a song called “We Saw Your Boobs.” That was followed by the host donning a nun’s habit to tell Sally Field how hot he thought she was as Gidget and The Flying Nun. He joked about Lincoln’s assassination (a gag that earned gasps from the audience), described Django Unchained as a good date-night movie for Chris Brown and Rihanna (more gasps), quipped about Jews running Hollywood and took a bunch of potshots at other celebs.

Industry veteran Nikki Fink live-blogged after the spiel, “You have to excuse me. That show opening was so lousy, I’m still in a state of shock and dismay.” Entertainment publicist Angie Meyer told Fox News, “Seth McFarlane spoon-fed sexism and likewise innuendo through song, setting a terrible example for young children watching the show. … The Oscars are supposed to be a celebration of the art of cinema, not a tribute to women who strip down in film.”

So … my family watched The Cosby Show on Hulu instead. And we laughed and giggled and goofed around … with nary a single thought reserved for Mr. MacFarlane or Mr. Oscar.

Question: What happens to Hollywood when everybody else’s family starts following my family’s example right around the end of February every year?