Legend has it that Cleopatra once received a gift of three specially made golden eggs from her lover Mark Antony. Today they’re all reportedly worth millions of dollars apiece.
The first of the eggs is displayed in a Roman museum under heavy guard and specialized technology. The second is owned by a wealthy criminal—again kept hidden behind nearly impenetrable security.
But it’s the third egg that is of most concern to anyone interested. And it’s not just because the third gold-and-gem-encrusted curio is a great lost treasure. The third egg has such great value because if one were able to get his or her hands on all three of these prizes, he or she could sell them as a set to an Egyptian billionaire for the tidy sum of $300,000,000.
That, my friend, is a lot of eggs.
In any case, four people are very interested in these eggs.
Nolan Booth is said by some to be the top art thief in the world. He’s also devising an intricate scheme to steal the first egg in Rome. John Hartley, an FBI behavioral analyst, is working on inside information and trying to stop Booth in his quest. A mysterious woman named The Bishop is giving Hartley his inside information (while also being the second best art thief in the world). And there’s Interpol’s Inspector Urvashi Das. She simply wants to put the whole affair to bed, regardless of who she needs to arrest and jail.
Oh, and one member of that quartet knows exactly where the third and most important of Cleopatra’s famous eggs is currently hidden away.
Let the rat maze race begin.
Not much of anything to point to here.
None.
Women in crowd scenes wear sexualized, form-fitting outfits—including The Bishop, who we see in some very low-cut slinky gowns and swimsuits. Hartley and a criminal named Sotto Voce bare their chests in different scenes. And several muscular men enter a wedding dressed in what amount to elaborate golden loincloths.
Hartley and The Bishop kiss.
Booth tosses out a number of sexualized and sometimes very crude quips about everything from genitalia size to beastiality.
This pic centers on some heavy thumping and often explosive chase scenes that tend to throw people violently around while staying relatively bloodless. So, we see a chase through a museum and up a tall metal scaffold that features men falling from heights and being thwacked with pipes. A pair of guys smash through a large glass window and thump their way down from four stories up.
A car chase takes place in a set of narrow mineshafts, complete with crashed vehicles, automatic weapons fire and tossed grenades. A fight, and a series of explosions, take place in a Russian prison laundry room. Men are gunned down by a military helicopter and a guy is nearly blown up by an RPG missile, twice. Three people fight in an antiquities vault, slamming each other through glass display cases and hitting each other with metal bludgeons and spears. Hartley and Booth are chased by a man with a machine gun and then dash into a bull ring where Hartley takes the brunt of a charging bull. Etc., etc.
The criminal Sotto Voce is known for his tendency to choke his victims to death. We see him do that to one victim and begin choking another. Lots of people are punched or kicked in the face. Hartley receives electric shocks to the chest and crotch.
Two f-words (and an unfinished use of one, too) and more than 16 s-words join multiple uses of “b–ch,” “b–tard” and “a–hole.” Crude references are made to male genitalia. And God’s and Jesus’ names are both misused a total of eight times (three of those blending God’s name with “d–n”).
A man is rendered unconscious by a drug-spiked drink. People drink wine, champagne and other boozy beverages at various parties.
People double-cross one another regularly.
Red Notice has a lot of what people are looking for.
I mean, it showcases three of Hollywood’s hottest actors working in their certified comfort zones—Dwayne Johnson wrapped in his flexing smolder; Ryan Reynolds tossing snarky-ad-libs with smooth aplomb; and Gal Godot winking with stylish beauty and charm. And on top of all that star appeal, this flick combines a caboodle of familiar-feeling bits, seemingly plucked from the past 50 years of odd-buddy pics and action hits.
The end result isn’t necessarily fresh feeling. Every staged and quip-filled action sequence seems to tip its hat to some sort of Lethal Weapon/Indiana Jones doppelganger of the past. In fact, in the midst of its impish playfulness, Red Notice even openly winks at all the familiar bits it knows we’ve recognized. But then, it all just seems to clink together like well-oiled gears. It’s formulaic, but fun. Shopworn, but satisfying.
Of course, if you’re a mom or dad currently clearing your throat to get my attention, fear not, I haven’t forgotten you. The fact is, the above assessments carry over into your areas of concern, too. Red Notice is full of the same formulaic and shopworn content you might expect from a pic like this: including an abundance of rough-edged language (including two f-words—a rarity in PG-13 actioners) and sexual quips you wouldn’t want the kids to get an earful of.
So, do you stay, or do you go? Well, that depends on what you’re looking for.
After spending more than two decades touring, directing, writing and producing for Christian theater and radio (most recently for Adventures in Odyssey, which he still contributes to), Bob joined the Plugged In staff to help us focus more heavily on video games. He is also one of our primary movie reviewers.
