Every 21st-century parent has to deal with the issue of technology at some point. And even if your stance is a conservative one—strictly limiting, say, video games or smartphone usage, time spent surfing the Internet or time spent watching TV—it’s still a reality that has to be addressed.
My children are now 7, 5 and 3, and we’re very much engaged in the process of setting such limits … and trying to stick to them. Some weeks are better than others.
We’re trying, for instance, to make sure that our eldest son, Henry, spends as much time reading actual books as he does engaging in various screen-oriented pursuits. So if he wants to spend 15 minutes playing Angry Birds on our Kindle Fire, that needs to be balanced with 15 minutes diving into a book. That’s not our only screen-time boundary, but it’s one of our main ones.
As we’ve tried to help Henry develop a love for reading—and as he’s gotten older—it’s become more and more clear that he’s pretty likely to imitate what he sees his Dad and Mom doing. If I’m saying he needs to read a book but I’m constantly surfing on my smartphone, for instance, it sends the message that reading isn’t really that great … but screen-oriented technology is.
In a deliberate attempt to be a better role model lately (not an impulse I always have, mind you), I’ve been trying to pick up a book in free moments instead of reaching for the always-engaging smartphone or plopping down at my laptop. I want my children to see me reading books, to see that I treasure the same values I say I’m trying to instill in them.
But here’s where things get curious.
Recently, my wife, Jennifer, and I have been downloading and reading books more frequently on our tablet. We still have plenty of physical books, of course. Thousands of ’em, actually. That said, the ease of downloading is very slowly changing some of our reading habits. Jennifer recently blasted through a three-book fiction series on our Kindle, for example. And as often happens with a good book, she spent several days reading a lot.
Much has been written recently about how reading a book on a tablet or an e-reader is different than actually reading a physical book. And watching my wife read on our Kindle—and then watching my kids watching her—I realized one of the main differences is the message that gets delivered to impressionable young witnesses.
When I read a physical book, my children get the message that both reading and books are valuable. I have my doubts, however, about whether they get the same message when we read a digital book. Anecdotally, I’m inclined to say that they don’t.
Instead of communicating by our example that reading and books are cool, I wonder if they get the message that tech and screens are cool. After all, unless they’re looking right over our shoulder, it’s hard for them to know exactly what we’re interacting with onscreen. It might be an Internet site, a video game, an app of some kind—almost anything.
As with most other technology, when our kids see us using it—even if it’s for something as beneficial as reading a book—they want to use it, too. After my wife spent a bunch time reading on the Kindle, it was easy for Henry to say, “When can I have a turn?”
And I think it’s safe to say that Henry didn’t want his turn to involve reading a book on it.
My point isn’t to suggest that reading a book on a tablet is a bad thing. It isn’t. But I’m not sure it’s exactly the same as reading the physical variety, either … at least in the way it influences my family’s attitudes toward books, reading and technology.
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