“You’re my hero.”
This is one of my favorite throwaway phrases. I say this to my daughter when she unloads the dishwasher. I say it to my co-workers when they remind me of a meeting. I say it to my editor every day, without fail, in the hopes he won’t slice my latest review to ribbons.
But frankly, I think I’m too cavalier with the phrase. Overusing the term hero dilutes it, bloating it with too much filler, turning a powerful, resonant, T-bone steak of a word into something more akin to a 99-cent hamburger. Heroes—real heroes—are rare indeed. Really rare, if you ask many of our Facebook readers.
On Oct. 6 we posted this question on the Plugged In Facebook page: “Who is the best teen role model right now when it comes to celebrities?” The response was pretty telling.
Most folks took the question to mean teen celebrities who also serve as role models. Taylor Swift came up in the conversation, as did Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato and the Duggar kids. A few took the question to mean the best role model teens. Tim Tebow, backup (or possibly third-string) quarterback for my favorite NFL team, the Denver Broncos, got some love.
But a lot of respondents couldn’t think of a single one.
“Oh hahahahahaha! That’s a good one,” wrote Heather Harwood. “I’m thinking….I’m thinking…I’m thinking…. I got nothin’,” said the Weeks Fam. Debbie DeVore Mitchell told us that “celebrities aren’t role models—period!”
It’s tough to find role models these days. And I think it’s been tough to find real role models anywhere, at any time.
Sometimes, I think we tend to look back at folks—even celebrities—in decades past, see how relatively squeaky-clean their lives were and wonder what’s gone wrong with society. And while there’s probably some merit to that, I wonder how much of our nostalgia for the role models of yesteryear is a product of the times, if that makes sense: Perhaps our prospective role models haven’t changed as much as the attention we lavish on them. We know so much more about our public figures these days. So much that it’s hard for anyone to be much of a role model.
“I think it is somewhat unfair for parents/people to ‘set up’ a person to be a role model,” wrote Christian Earl on our Facebook page. “Full well knowing that the person in question IS a fallen human being who is gonna make mistakes.”
I share that sentiment. We are fallen. We are very fallible—particularly when we’re going through our teen years. When I look at some of the folks mentioned, I see a lot worth emulating … and some stuff to stay away from. I love the way Justin Bieber talks about his faith, but I’m a little wary of some of his associations. I think it’s awesome how Demi Lovato boldly confronted her troubling problems and hope she can serve as a great example down the road. And yet, there’s still part of me that—maybe unfairly—worries and waits for a new batch of troubles to surface. Taylor Swift is an incredible musician—talented, charming, modest. But when I asked my teen daughter what she thought of her, the first thing my daughter told me was that her songs sometimes seemed kinda mean.
And that’s the trouble in the end, isn’t it? Most of us can be role models—heroes—in certain areas of our lives. But you look into other aspects of who we are, and we’re not worthy of emulation at all. In fact, we could all probably use some serious intervention at times. Which I guess explains why we’re always on the lookout for role models in the first place, doesn’t it?
“People are imperfect,” wrote Nathan Baker. “Teens are better off not looking up to anyone especially celebs. Jesus is the greatest role model.”
He’s right, of course. I don’t think that means we push away celebs when they do good things. Because sometimes they really do good things. It just means to keep it in perspective. We need to understand that the folks we watch and listen to and, in some ways, emulate, are no better than we are.
We can learn from others, even when they show themselves to be less than perfect. And we should learn from them. But when it comes to making a list of unequivocal role models, maybe we should keep our list short.
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