Notice: All forms on this website are temporarily down for maintenance. You will not be able to complete a form to request information or a resource. We apologize for any inconvenience and will reactivate the forms as soon as possible.

Forget About Fangs, ‘Twilight 2’ Is All About the Abs

twilightabs.jpgThe line snaked around the lobby, out the door and around the corner of the theater. Music blared from competing radio stations booths.

There were still two hours to go before the advance screening for The Twilight Saga: New Moon started in Denver.

I knew it was going to be a interesting night, as much because of the people who surrounded me as the film itself. And I was not disappointed, at least not in that respect. The cheering started the moment Summit Entertainment’s logo appeared on the screen. And it was quickly replaced with screeching when Robert Pattinson, otherwise known as the vampire Edward Cullen, loped across the school parking lot to give Bella her morning kiss. He loped in slow motion, by the way, as adoring music marked the timing of his light footsteps on pavement that seemed somehow unworthy of carrying his precious weight. He loped the way you see drop-dead gorgeous girls lope down school hallways in flirtatious flicks like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and I Love You, Beth Cooper.

I had thought I was in for a moody ride through Bella’s broken heartedness (it’s in the second book that Edward leaves her—for her own good, of course), but I quickly realized that such emotional plot points were only going to serve as a backdrop for New Moon’s real business—getting the girls to go googly over guys’ great pecs and abs. Before it was over I’d lost count of the number of times Edward and rival Jacob had stripped off their shirts. But I don’t think the rest of the audience had. They were turning the exhibition into something of a contest to decide who was hotter. Team Edward! Team Jacob! Loudest screamers win.