The X Factor is back on TV tonight. And I wish I could say I was happy about that. I do. I really wish that.
Last Wednesday, Simon Cowell made his not-quite victorious comeback to star-search TV on Fox. The ratings weren’t stellar, but an hour into the premiere, with tears oozing from my eyes, I watched as Stacy Francis blew the house down with her emotionally riveting rendition of Aretha Franklin’s “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman.” As far as I’m concerned, it was one of the most beautiful musical moments in the history of modern television.
I’m not a crier. I don’t sniffle over any of those happy-sad Hallmark commercials. I don’t snuffle every time the Broncos lose. (And I’ve had lots of practice with that lately.) I certainly didn’t cry when that huge ocean liner Leonardo DiCaprio was sailing on took its cinematic nosedive into the cold, dark depths of the North Atlantic.
But I had to reach for a tissue after Francis took her bows.
And then, minutes later, I had to watch Paula Abdul reach for a barf bag.
I don’t blame her a bit. Right after showing one of the best performances some of us had ever seen, X Factor producers decided to sandblast us with one of the absolute worst. And it wasn’t just off-key. It wasn’t just lame. It wasn’t just annoying. It was obscene. Geo Godley took to the stage, started his mumbling delivery, then dropped his drawers.
For TV, Fox covered him up with a branded and decorative “X.” Nobody in the arena got that benefit. And nobody made a single move to get him off the stage either. He continued to sing as he shuffled about with his pants around his ankles.
It’s been some time since I’ve watched TV “live” with my family. It’s just too difficult these days. I don’t have a fast enough trigger finger on the remote. And now I know I’ve been making the right decision. I’m incredibly glad we weren’t tuned in to The X Factor last week. And now we won’t ever be. Never mind that we love music. That my tween daughter is into dance and theater. That my wife sang and danced and acted her way through high school and college. That I would have loved to experience Stacy Francis’ moment of musical triumph and bliss with them.
Even a big payoff like that isn’t worth the risk anymore.
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