The Oscars were hard to watch last night. Hollywood’s biggest gala was just awkward, almost from the very beginning (Regina Hall’s “random COVID tests”) to almost the very end (Lady Gaga gracefully covering for a rattled Liza Minelli). And while CODA won Best Picture and Dune walked out with six statuettes, it was Will Smith’s slap that was heard ‘round the world.
The brouhaha began when comedian Chris Rock made a joke centered on Will Smith’s wife, actress Jada Pinkett Smith—specifically, her cut-to-the-scalp hairstyle. “Jada, can’t wait for G.I. Jane 2,” he said.
It was no laughing matter to the Smiths, though. Jada Pinkett has talked about dealing with hair loss from the autoimmune disorder alopecia. Will Smith strode up on stage, appeared to smack Rock in the face and sat back down—shouting from his seat “keep my wife’s name out of your [censored] mouth!”
If the Oscars producers were hoping to inject a little excitement into the typically lengthy and staid telecast, they couldn’t have scripted it better.
I could write a lot more about the slap, and the ceremony as a whole, as to just how it reflects the movie industry and our increasingly polarized, angry culture. But what truly fascinated me was what happened later, when Smith took the stage again to accept an Oscar for Best Actor.
Funny. Smith won for his work in King Richard, in which he played a strict, loving, deeply flawed father who’d stand up to anybody who picked on his family. And the actor acknowledged the discomforting similarities in his speech.
“Art imitates life,” he said. “I look like the crazy father, just like they said. I look like the crazy father just like they said about Richard Williams.
“But love,” he added, “will make you do crazy things.”
Smith apologized to both the Academy and his fellow nominees for the slap and profane outburst. But early in his speech, he seemed like he might try to justify it—talking about how in show business you have to “take abuse,” that you have to deal with people “disrespecting you.”
But then he heard—presumably fellow nominee Denzel Washington—say something from the audience, which seemed to set him back on track.
“Thank you, D,” he said. “Denzel said to me a few minutes ago, he said, ‘At your highest moment, be careful. That’s when the devil comes for you.’”
Washington, one of Hollywood’s most outspoken Christians, has talked often about his faith. He takes the view that his career—given by God—is not just a blessing, but a responsibility. At a men’s conference last year, he talked about that very subject. He said:
“At 66, getting ready to be 67, having just buried my mother, I made a promise to her and to God, not just to do good the right way, but to honor my mother and my father by the way I live my life, the rest of my days on this Earth. I’m here to serve, to help, to provide.” He added that “strength, leadership, power, authority, guidance, patience are God’s gift to us as men. We have to cherish that, not abuse it.”
I heard a little hint of that in Smith’s acceptance speech. As tears streamed down his cheeks, the actor said, “In this time in my life, in this moment, I am overwhelmed by what God is calling on me to do and be in this world.”
It’s not easy to discern God’s calling. He calls us to be and do so many things. He calls us to love and protect our families. He calls us to love and show grace to other people, too. And sometimes, our own emotions get tangled up in God’s calling—twisting it out of shape. Even if the Smiths were right to take exception to Chris Rock’s joke, the way Smith took exception was not.
That’s why, I think, we can all use people in our lives to help guide us—giving us a gentle nudge or a firm reminder when we need it. Though Will Smith is 53, he’s still learning and growing, just as I think we all are. We need to be mindful of the teachers in our lives.
And as parents, we need to be mindful of the people we’re teaching as well. What are we showing them? What are we teaching them?
Most of us will never slap someone on stage, of course. But we will all make mistakes. We will all sometimes fail to show up as we should. We will disappoint those we love. We will be foolish. And the only way forward from failure is what Smith did last night: Apologize.
It’s not perfect, of course. No simple sorry will ever erase all our wrongs. But it’s still a critical step toward healing.
10 Responses
-Will Smith apologized to the Academy and his fellow nominees, but not to Chris Rock. By doing so he acknowledged that what he did was an unwelcome distraction, but he didn’t acknowledge that it was an act of violence.
The comment he attributed to Denzel was right on. It’s too bad Smith didn’t take advantage of this opportunity to model contrition and humility. Instead he made an excuse — “Love will make you do crazy things” — that abusers have been falling back on since the dawn of time.
-I personally thought the joke was kinda funny, and that Will overreacted plain and simple. It’s not like Jada has cancer or anything like that, she’s just bald for crying out loud. Anyway, I actually thought the show was pretty entertaining. Sure I could have lived without the horrible encanto songs and the just plain boring Bond and godfather tributes, and Billie Eilish winning for that badly sung Bond song was just plain wrong I thought. But overall I had a good time watching it and was pleased that the supposed “missing” categories was shown during the telecast after all, even giving the winners time to speak. So overreactions and some bad singing notwithstanding it was a darn good Oscars I thought. And for the record the Reba song should have won hands down.
The moral character of most Hollywood stars is often questionable at best. I don’t condone Chris Rock’s, Will Smith’s or Jada Smith’s behaviours whatsoever. Chris Rock is making a joke at someone else’s expense, and Will and Jada Smith share an “open” marriage question which makes his “defence” of his wife laughable. A marriage built on the idea that infidelity is the expected norm for that marriage seems to make Will Smith’s “act of virtue” null and void. When Christians give the majority of Hollywood stars the ability to be an authoritative voice in regards to morality, there needs to be some self examination.
Sorry, Focus on the Family. You are missing the mark here. Just because someone says something purely out of regret in order to save their image, erases the meaning of those words when the individual’s actions do not match those words. All involved are out of line. Rather we should pray for some form of redemption of the situation just like many of the readers have been redeemed for our own moral failures.
-Completely agree. Stop condoning this type of behavior. You don’t get to pound people when you get your feelings hurt and then just “apologize” and have no consequences. How about some self control? (He didn’t apologize, he made excuses for his behavior). And hollyweird gave him a standing ovation which reinforces his behavior. He should be banned from further awards ceremonies permanently. Actions really do have consequences.
-I certainly wouldn’t describe Focus on the Family as quasi-liberal, and I doubt any liberals would either. I think Plugged In does a good job approaching things from a Christian perspective without getting too entangled in politics.
-Jada’s bald not dying from cancer. And after all the jokes he made about uncle Phil’s weight on fresh prince you would think he’d be able to take a harmless little joke better. Chris Rock did nothing wrong but make a harmless little joke. Will was the one who overreacted.
-Will Smith should have been removed from his seat. Unacceptable was his physical abuse on another human being. Inexcusable was the arrogance on his face when he proudly pranced back to his seat to unleash a vulgar ranting of obscenities on the same man. Chris Rock’s joke may have been inappropriate and offensive to some, in poor taste to some, and possible funny to some. But he was not deserving of the abusive actions of an obviously deeply disturbed soul disguised as an offended husband.
-Technically will smith did not apologize to rock that night which means I highly doubly he really felt sorry- probably more because of what his pr told him he had to do- and honestly what will smith did was wayyyy over line and even his apology sounded hollow. He’s been a narcissist ego for years and no matter rock said what smith did was foolish and undermined everyone before him. So yes like the person below said and this article points out to an extent, yes will may have been offended but doesn’t mean smith gets to be abusive and deeply disturbed under guise of offended. Like said he is setting an example, in this case very badly, and how he acts is also seen by his family and the world- all which now see ugliness. And the fact smith has not even tried to talk to rock since means although yes there needs to be healing or what I would say less ego I don’t think is going to come from smith.
-It will be irresponsible to allow Will Smith back to Oscars Building. He is capable of a replay with no self control, as he has clearly shown the world.
-Ok for seasoned Christians it is evident we all have sinned and come short of God’s glory and judging the spiritual state of a person is God’s. However, it is Biblically correct to judge the fruit. Will’s fruit, not only at the Oscars (which I don’t watch) and in resent interviews is putrid. The fact that he has openly accepted an open marriage with his wife in order to ‘make themselves happy’ is evidence of his lack of a Biblical world view. His anger towards Chris Rock is a deflection of the real anger he has towards his wife and what she has led him to accept. Will should be more concern about keeping other men’s mouths out of his own wife, than a joke about her hair which the majority of people, possibly even Chris, are clueless. Many are focusing in being kind to Will, while ignoring Chris’ own need for empathy.