Jessica is a midriff-baring, clique-loving, Volkswagen Bug-driving, quarterback-dating, pom-waving, practical joke-pulling princess. In other words, Jessica is the goddess of her collegiate world. Life couldn’t be better. Until (there’s always an "until") she swipes a pair of earrings from a curio store. Unbeknownst to Jessica, the earring are magical. If individually worn by two different people, they will cause the wearers to switch bodies. Then a chance meeting with a greasy ne’er-do-well named Clive leads to a dropped earring and, you guessed it, two switched bodies. Predictable hijinks ensue. Can the very-hairy Jessica win the cheerleading competition? Will she (or is it he?) maintain her romantic relationship with Billy? Will Jessica’s friends, April and Ling-Ling, and her brother, Booger, be able to get her body back? More importantly, after being barraged with penis jokes for nearly two hours will I even care?
positive elements: Jessica refuses to sleep with Billy until that "one perfect moment," which, while not a pledge to wait until marriage, is still noteworthy. Billy, in turn, supports her and displays remarkable devotion when she "disappears." Posing as a gardener, the transformed Jessica manages to rejuvenate her parents’ marriage by encouraging her father to pursue her mother, then tells her dad how much she loves him. Ling-Ling comes to terms with the fact that her mother’s overbearing protectiveness is just her way of showing love. Jessica’s loyal friends tirelessly try to help her get her body back. Infidelity is decried, as is bullying and smoking.
spiritual content: The magical earrings are the central "spiritual" part of the film. Jessica must reunite them "before the full moon" in order to regain her body. "Ancient legend" tells of a princess that escaped a bad marriage by using the earrings, but was permanently trapped in the form of a slave. A classmate helps research curses, mutters an occult incantation during a fit of rage and says she had previously placed hexes on Jessica. When a weepy, post-transformation Jessica calls Billy, saying, "I should have made love to you when I had the chance," Billy assumes it’s his priest. In another scene he makes the sign of the cross.
sexual content: Male anatomy becomes the punch line of a barrage of jokes. After Jessica transforms, the film goes to great lengths to poke fun at her newfound "masculinity." She shows her genitals to her friends (the camera glimpses rear nudity). April remarks that out of the five she’s seen it’s quite impressive. (Flashing isn’t restricted to Jessica.) It almost goes without saying that lewd banter between Jessica and her friends is common. Before—and after—her transformation, Jessica wears skimpy clothes. Scenes at a dance club and a strip club feature erotic dancing. (Sensual images are routine throughout the film.) Jessica’s dad reads a Playboy while in bed with his wife (it’s intended to be indicative of the couple’s poor relationship). A visual gag hints at masturbation. Twice, Jessica and April recite a sing-song poem about ruttish boys (several words are close rhymes with profanities and obscenities). Fond of cross-dressing, Booger dresses up in Jessica’s clothing and uses her makeup. The final scene of the film jokes about homosexual and sadomasochistic acts.
violent content: Mostly slapstick. While ogling Jessica and her friends, a mall worker gets knocked off his cart by an overhanging sign. After Jessica slips a pair of thong panties into a rival cheerleader’s purse inside a store, the girl is violently tackled by security guards. After getting maced, the male Jessica tumbles down the bleachers. A pillow fight ends with everyone but Jessica knocked out. A couple of street brawls occur. Billy gets sacked during a football practice. A man is almost run down by a car. April’s mom falls from a high balcony. She also gets in a car wreck. The transformed Jessica tries to strangle a stripper, who in turn jams her stiletto heel in another man’s crotch and kicks water in his face.
crude or profane language: About six s-words and 20 milder profanities and crudities appear. Two obscene phrases are interrupted mid-sentence and there are three bleeped profanities during the post-film outtakes. God’s name is abused more than 10 times. A racial slur is spoken.
drug and alcohol content: The transformed Jessica buys her underage friends drinks with names such as Slippery Nipple and Screaming Orgasm on the Beach. April’s self-absorbed father pushes her mother to near-insanity and substance abuse by his lack of involvement in his family’s life. A stoner (Adam Sandler in a cameo) details the many places one can hide weed—including sexual ones.
other negative elements: Scatological humor abounds. For instance, as a man, Jessica must learn how to urinate again (several times she sprays the walls). Jessica also heartlessly accuses a girl of being bulimic. She steals and engages in harsh practical joking. Stereotypical jokes about obesity and Asians are told. But most disturbing are the homosexual and transgender themes. April develops a crush on the transformed Jessica, but Jessica maintains her love for Billy. Eventually, she urges him to kiss her, saying that her male form is "just on the outside." And when the cross-dressing Booger discovers Jessica’s transformation, he says, "You’re my sister and I accept you for who you are." Admirable at first glance, the implication is that she (and the viewers) should accept his feminine predilections without question.
conclusion: Rob Schneider’s post-SNL filmography doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in those who enjoy quality movies. The Animal. Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. Surf Ninjas. His latest project does nothing to improve his batting average. The Hot Chick delights in homosexual humor, gross-out gags, crude language and sexual wantonness. If your teen wants to take this Hot Chick out on a date, just say, "NO!"