"Our First Day of School"

Now married to their longtime sweethearts and finally done with med school, Drs. Dorian (J.D.) and Turk turn right around and begin teaching other med students.

Hold on loosely to that word teaching and cue the latest herd of intern newbies—the bottom-feeders on the med school food chain.

J.D. kicks things off by kissing his wife's expanding belly and thanking his unborn child for making her breasts so much bigger. Then he and she get a bit frisky in front of said herd of intern newbies. From there, the sex jokes pile up, elbowing their way through dead-man-dying gags. Casual couples decide to shower together (we see them begin to disrobe), sleep together (he's on top of her; she's in her bra) and sext each other. An anatomy lesson becomes suggestive, and J.D. and Turk fondly recall how their fellow interns drank and hooked up on their first day of school.

Chief of Medicine Dr. Cox's teaching methods are mostly bullying, an occasional threat and a lot of demoralization. Just for fun, of course. He calls students "murderers in training" and introduces them to the bedside game he calls "Patient Roulette."

A student director in charge of morale tells interns not to commit suicide on campus, since it means a load of paperwork for her. Racism is also considered a joke, and there's crass humor involving same-sex attraction and male genitalia. Dr. Cox says "good god" whenever he's repulsed, and there are frequent mild profanities and crudities ("p‑‑‑ed," "a‑‑," etc.).

J.D. is trying to be a good teacher, and he does seem to want to make a difference in students' lives. But with the terrible teaching he's sat under for lo, these many years on NBC, how in the world can he be? Similarly, when a patient whom Lucy befriends dies and unexpectedly becomes her study group's experimental cadaver, she—momentarily—seems to reflect on his kindness toward her and the brevity of life. But its the brevity of Scrubs' healthy scenes that tell me all I need to know about the kind of health care I'd get at Sacred Heart hospital. It's enough to make anybody take up jogging and wheat germ.