"Secret Santa"

Michael brings Jesus into the workplace. But not in a good way.

The trouble starts when Jim selects Phyllis as the office’s official Santa, usurping Michael’s traditional seat in the jolly elf’s chair. Ever-chipper Phyllis says that she has "the right temperament and figure to do the job well." But Michael says to just ho-ho-hold on there: He dresses up as Santa, too, and sets up a rival lap just down the hall. (You start looking around for an HR rep when he begins making comments about what his lap affords.)

When office anchor and resident sane guy Jim tells Michael to cut it out, Michael dunks his hat in the office’s Christmas punch bowl and dons another outfit—this time dressing as a Father Time/karate class-inspired version of Jesus. He invites everyone to join him in rediscovering the "true meaning of Christmas."

"Those who don’t, I forgive you," Michael says. "But I never forget."

And he’s just getting started. As Jesus, Michael heckles Phyllis. And when one (adulterous) co-worker gets scented candles during the climactic secret Santa giveaway, Michael smirks, "A lot of fire where you’re going. Better get used to it."

There are other issues in the episode, too. Oscar makes cautious advances on a gay warehouse worker. Pam approves wholeheartedly. And a sprinkling of mild profanity tops the dialogue.

But all of it takes a back seat to Michael’s turn as Jesus, and the nervous chaos which ensues. Dunder Mifflin’s token "Christian" applauds Michael’s work as "Jesus," until Michael suggests the fabric she gets from her secret Santa could be used to make another dress "down to your ankles." He tells his boss that Jesus has the power of flight and can "heal the leopards."

In the end, he sheds the kitschy costume and … immediately makes things even worse. "Jesus sort of ruined the party," Michael says. "Hurt, petulant Jesus." And then he tells his office-mates that "Christmas isn’t about Santa or Jesus. It’s about the workplace."

Yeah. OK. I get the idea of satire. But on this one I’m lining up behind the worker bee who exclaims, "Wow, Michael, this must be obvious how wrong this is."