"I Want You to Want Me"

These days, technology is everything—even, apparently, on the cheerleading squad. Chastity, the squad’s captain, decides to upgrade their pom poms to the next-generation "pom peys" which are light and sparkly and $100 a pair. When some cheerleaders balk at the price, Bianca organizes a fundraiser: selling carnations. Soon, everyone in school is snapping up the fragrant little wonders for their special someones (red for love, white for friendship), inciting a whole new level of lovesick angst and gossipy intrigue.

It’s the sort of innocent, flower-fresh plot that might feel at home on the Disney Channel or an after-school special (if they even made those anymore). Alas, the show’s content doesn’t smell as sweet. The opening scene features cheerleaders wiggling their rumps for the camera. There are references to herpes, lap dances and sex orgies with the soccer team. One scheming roustabout lurks in the women’s bathroom—ostensibly because his doctor told him he has "gender confusion." "I’m confused about how to get into your pants," he tells a horrified Kat.

Kat and Bianca treat their single father—a protective, well-meaning fellow—primarily as a comical, clueless foil. They fire off one-liners when he questions where they’ve been and give him dating advice (beginning with his need to take off his wedding ring). He may have eyes for the female delivery woman who sometimes knocks on his door, but the romance seems only destined to foster more one-liners and sexual double entendres: When the woman tells Bianca she’s here to drop off a package, Bianca responds by saying, "I don’t want to think about my dad’s package."

Thus, 10 Things I Hate About You fits snugly into ABC Family’s burgeoning "family" philosophy—that is, not family-friendly.