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TV Series Review

Talk about your dead-end job.

Oh, granted, there's a future for Kirsten with the super-secret government agency that's drafted her. And the work she's doing is on the bleeding edge—sometimes quite literally. She's an investigator of sorts, and her specialty is murder. But rather than piecing together evidence from a crime scene, as a homicide detective might, or determining the last moments of a person's life through forensics evidence, like a coroner, Kirsten punts all this laborious investigative work for something much cleaner and quicker and … more fun. She hops directly into the dead person's memories. If her job was a game of Clue, she'd never have to guess whether it was Col. Mustard with the candlestick in the billiard room: She can look at the incriminating cards anytime she wants.

Naturally, it's not as easy as performing a Vulcan mind-meld on any nearby corpse. In order to dig—"stitch"—into a dead person's mind, Kirsten has to don a super-tight wet suit of sorts that shows off lots of cleavage, lie down in a pool of water and … well, that's about it, actually. The rest of her agency mates do the real heavy lifting. Or, at least, the heavy typing as their Frankenstein-style equipment sends Kirsten down the neural rabbit hole.

They're Dying to Meet Her …

That posse of agency mates—all working for the NSA, we're told—includes Cameron, a brilliant neuroscientist (because, really, is there such a thing as an average neuroscientist?) is Kirsten's most obvious tether to reality as she's dashing about inside other people's (dead) brains. He runs the tactical show, giving orders and walking Kirsten through the stitch. Oh, is it worth mentioning that Cameron and Kirsten have feelings for each other even if they're reluctant to admit it?

Kirsten's roomie, Maggie, has a gig at the agency, too, typing a lot and doing various agency-type things. Linus serves as the team's brilliant bioelectrical engineer (because, really, is there such a thing as an average bioelectrical engineer?). Once Kirsten returns with the name of a killer, more often than not it's Det. Quincy Fisher who makes the actual arrests. And, of course, you've got Ayo, the medical department head; and Alex, the "subject biology" expert; and—well, you get the idea.

It's a pretty big staff for such a super-secret operation, and so many of them are oh-so fond of Twitter. Little wonder that Maggie Baptiste, the lady in charge of the whole works, can seem a bit gruff at times trying to keep everything under wraps and working smoothly. But beneath that no-nonsense exterior lurks an understanding boss who doesn't even mind that her prize employee spends most of her time soaking in a high-tech tub.

We're Dying to Be Done With This Review …

The network formerly known as ABC Family finally dropped all pretense of being a "family" channel and renamed itself Freeform in January 2016, determined to go after the young, free-spending demographic that MTV tries to draw. As such, it's probably not too surprising that if it weren't for the channel logo permanently stitched to the bottom corner of your screen, Stitchers would make you think you're watching the CW—a strange little mix of The Flash and Pretty Little Liars. It's a show predicated on mysteries that, paradoxically, begs its audience not to think too much. It wants its fans to—like Kirsten—just float with it all, allowing the crazy science, silly plots and content concerns to just burble along.


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Episode Reviews

Stitchers: Mar. 22, 2016 "2.0"
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