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Reviewer

Paul Asay

TV Series Review

Talk about your dead-end job.

Oh, granted, there’s a future for Kirsten with the super-secret government agency that’s drafted her. And the work she’s doing is on the bleeding edge—sometimes quite literally. She’s an investigator of sorts, and her specialty is murder. But rather than piecing together evidence from a crime scene, as a homicide detective might, or determining the last moments of a person’s life through forensics evidence, like a coroner, Kirsten punts all this laborious investigative work for something much cleaner and quicker and … more fun. She hops directly into the dead person’s memories. If her job was a game of Clue, she’d never have to guess whether it was Col. Mustard with the candlestick in the billiard room: She can look at the incriminating cards anytime she wants.

Naturally, it’s not as easy as performing a Vulcan mind-meld on any nearby corpse. In order to dig—”stitch”—into a dead person’s mind, Kirsten has to don a super-tight wet suit of sorts that shows off lots of cleavage, lie down in a pool of water and … well, that’s about it, actually. The rest of her agency mates do the real heavy lifting. Or, at least, the heavy typing as their Frankenstein-style equipment sends Kirsten down the neural rabbit hole.

They’re Dying to Meet Her …

That posse of agency mates—all working for the NSA, we’re told—includes Cameron, a brilliant neuroscientist (because, really, is there such a thing as an average neuroscientist?) is Kirsten’s most obvious tether to reality as she’s dashing about inside other people’s (dead) brains. He runs the tactical show, giving orders and walking Kirsten through the stitch. Oh, is it worth mentioning that Cameron and Kirsten have feelings for each other even if they’re reluctant to admit it?

Kirsten’s roomie, Maggie, has a gig at the agency, too, typing a lot and doing various agency-type things. Linus serves as the team’s brilliant bioelectrical engineer (because, really, is there such a thing as an average bioelectrical engineer?). Once Kirsten returns with the name of a killer, more often than not it’s Det. Quincy Fisher who makes the actual arrests. And, of course, you’ve got Ayo, the medical department head; and Alex, the “subject biology” expert; and—well, you get the idea.

It’s a pretty big staff for such a super-secret operation, and so many of them are oh-so fond of Twitter. Little wonder that Maggie Baptiste, the lady in charge of the whole works, can seem a bit gruff at times trying to keep everything under wraps and working smoothly. But beneath that no-nonsense exterior lurks an understanding boss who doesn’t even mind that her prize employee spends most of her time soaking in a high-tech tub.

We’re Dying to Be Done With This Review …

The network formerly known as ABC Family finally dropped all pretense of being a “family” channel and renamed itself Freeform in January 2016, determined to go after the young, free-spending demographic that MTV tries to draw. As such, it’s probably not too surprising that if it weren’t for the channel logo permanently stitched to the bottom corner of your screen, Stitchers would make you think you’re watching the CW—a strange little mix of The Flash and Pretty Little Liars. It’s a show predicated on mysteries that, paradoxically, begs its audience not to think too much. It wants its fans to—like Kirsten—just float with it all, allowing the crazy science, silly plots and content concerns to just burble along.

Episode Reviews

Stitchers: Mar. 22, 2016 “2.0”

After “killing” himself to allow Kirsten access to his hidden memories, Cameron is revived … and seems to be suddenly much more adventurous. Kirsten, too, has been changed by the experience—and she’s not quite ready to tell Cameron that most of the memories she saw in there were of her. Meanwhile, the team tries to figure out who killed Leslie Turner (the secretive head of the agency).

We see Leslie get shot in his fragmented memories. Blood shows up on his shirt, and another dead body is discovered in a secret lab. Cameron punches a security guard before he and Kirsten are Tasered. Guns are pointed at people during a tense standoff. Threats are made and accusations hurled.

In a flashback, Kirsten and Cameron kiss. A new security man asks if Kirsten needs to eat anyone’s brains to do her job. He knows that she has to “strip and get into the water.” There’s an S&M joke. There’s talk of evolution. Characters flout authority. Camille invites Kirsten to drink some wine with her. Cameron talks about someone avoiding having a beer with him.

Foul language includes “b–ch,” “d–n,” “h—” and “a–” (two or three each). “Fricking” stands in for the more obscene f-word. God’s name is misused.

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Paul Asay

Paul Asay has been part of the Plugged In staff since 2007, watching and reviewing roughly 15 quintillion movies and television shows. He’s written for a number of other publications, too, including Time, The Washington Post and Christianity Today. The author of several books, Paul loves to find spirituality in unexpected places, including popular entertainment, and he loves all things superhero. His vices include James Bond films, Mountain Dew and terrible B-grade movies. He’s married, has two children and a neurotic dog, runs marathons on occasion and hopes to someday own his own tuxedo. Feel free to follow him on Twitter @AsayPaul.

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