Aaron Green is an easygoing guy who doesn't make waves. His sleep-deprived fiancée, Daphne, is so busy as a nurse intern that they hardly ever see each other. But Aaron's OK with that. And he's fairly content with being an overlooked wannabe at a big record company, too. After all, it's all about the love and it's all about the music. Right?
But after successfully pitching a company-saving concert idea, Aaron's wave-less life gets a vigorous shake. The chubby yes-man is handed a career-making "chance of a lifetime" by his manic music-mogul boss. All he has to do is fly to London, pick up has-been British rocker Aldous Snow, escort him to New York to appear on the Today show and then get him to L.A. for a big bash at the Greek Theatre. Seems simple enough.
That travel agenda, however, doesn't take into account the fact that Aldous Snow is one of the more self-destructive, manipulative, drug-addled satyrs in existence. And for 72 hours this train-wreck of a rock star is in Aaron's care. Or is it the other way around?
Aaron sees it all and does it all with Aldous. But he ultimately decides to opt for a staid, committed life with girlfriend Daphne. And Aldous decides to get sober. The two even establish something of a friendship in the process. (But that process is a lasciviously degrading runabout that lasts for 9/10ths of the film.)
Aldous finding out that his son, Naples, is the product of his ex's fling with another man doesn't stop him from caring about the boy. Naples expresses his love for his dad.
During an interview, Aldous says he wanted a costume that made him look like an "African white Christ from outer space." And he goes on to say that it's for others to decide if he's "like Jesus."
During their journey together, Aldous and Aaron experience the rock 'n' roll lifestyle in many forms—particularly as it relates to hedonistic sexuality. An example: Bare-breasted strippers in thong panties dance in a strip club, clutching and grinding on poles and patrons alike. Aldous openly fondles a woman's bare breast. A woman straddles Aaron in a toilet stall and bounces in sexual movement. Another woman forces a dildo into Aaron's mouth and backside.
As the sleaze spirals downward, it eventually includes a partially clothed sex scene between Aldous and his ex, Jackie Q. (He performs oral sex under a blanket.) Aldous also joins Aaron and Daphne in a threesome which ends with Daphne's orgasm at Aldous' (off camera) oral stimulation.
Other visuals include a variety of women in formfitting and otherwise revealing outfits. Several Jackie Q music videos feature scantly clad female dancers and crude lyrics about intercourse and anal sex. Aldous grabs a camera and thrusts his crotch at the lens. And Aaron shows the camera his bare backside. Both Aldous and Jackie Q are shown publicly exposing themselves. (Their midsections are pixelated.)
Dialogue is rife with references to public and private sexuality, menstrual cycles, masturbation, drunken sexual escapades, pubic hair, emasculation, orgasms, ejaculation and what Aaron's boss, Sergio, repeatedly refers to as a "mind f‑‑‑."
Some drunken moments degenerate into fistfights … and more. Among other things, people get bonked with bottles, platters, dishes, lava lamps, guitars and a flat-screen TV. While trying to procure drugs for Aldous, Aaron's newfound dealer is stabbed with a knife. We see Aaron drop off the blood-covered man in front of a hospital.
During one particularly despondent moment, Aldous jumps into a hotel pool from a nearby rooftop. In doing so he breaks his arm and blood starts clouding the water. Later he holds up his arm with the bone protruding through the skin. Sergio is hit by a car.
In one of Aldous' music videos, heavily armed men fire rifles and automatic weapons.
Crude or Profane Language
Well over 100 f-words and 30 s-words. Multiple uses of "a‑‑," "b‑‑ch," "h‑‑‑" and "b‑‑tard." God's and Jesus' names are both abused—God's in combination with "d‑‑n." Also included is a litany of crude, vulgar and obscene references to sex acts and various male and female body parts. The n-word is trotted out twice.
Drug and Alcohol Content
Quite literally every scene in this film is littered with people drinking, getting drunk, throwing up while drunk or hungover after being drunk. Beer, wine, champagne, vodka, whiskey and absinthe all make appearances. As do marijuana, heroin and a smokable blend of opium, meth, heroin, morphine, peyote and angel dust.
To list every case of lighting up or gulping down would fill pages. Suffice it, then, to say that partiers—including professed drug addict Aldous and the take-whatever-he's-handed Aaron—are constantly out of their minds on something or other. In fact, smoking the already mentioned "Neapolitan" blend on top of everything else pushes Aaron to the point of feeling like he's suffering from a heart attack. So Aldous slams a needle full of adrenaline into the man's shoulder.
One more über-inebriated scene is worth noting because of how it's played for laughs: Upon being told to keep Aldous sober for his TV gig, Aaron starts swallowing everything in sight that Aldous could possibly get high on. He starts draining every alcohol flask in the limo, smokes through a joint and eventually makes himself vomit from the combined consumption.
Aldous' rock lyrics feature a variety of "needle in your arm" references.
Other Negative Elements
Aldous tells his son not to choose a woman like his mother. "She's a terrible human being," he says.
Aaron vomits repeatedly. In one scene he wears it on his face and coat lapel. To hide the drugs, Aaron inserts a balloon filled with heroin into his backside. In silhouette behind frosted glass we later see Aldous removing the balloon. There's talk of uncontrolled defecation. Aldous urinates on a plant.
On the way out of an advance screening for Get Him to the Greek, I overheard a woman asking another film critic (not with Plugged In) what he though she should think about the movie we'd all just seen.
"It was vulgar and disgusting," the reviewer began—and was promptly interrupted with, "But you can't judge it by its content!" The critic shot right back: "What else are you going to judge?"
It was all I could do not to chime in with a big "bravo!" No matter what your moviegoing slant may be, you won't find any overarching artistic visions or lofty metaphoric social lessons at play here. This foul flick is what it is: a mindless mess of crude content.
Greek aggressively pokes at viewers' "I can't believe they did that!" gag reflexes in a desperate attempt to dredge up a few choking chuckles. Then it lobs an unconvincing platitude or two about getting sober and being faithful.
Yeah, like that works. Get Him to the Gutter would be more apt.