At last report, actor Vince Chase was off to marry his one true love in Paris. His lifelong best friend and manager, Eric, was flying off to focus on pregnant girlfriend Sloan. His brother, Johnny Drama, was voicing a cartoon series. His driver, Turtle, was making a fortune with a new brand of tequila. And his agent, Ari, had quit the agency to try to save his marriage and live in tropical island bliss.
Why, you’d almost think these guys’ lives were all wrapped up with a nice happy endings bow like on a TV show.
But happily ever after is a myth, didn’t you know? And especially so when it comes to this group of Hollywood movers and shakers and morality forsakers. Vince is already divorced. (Hey, nine days is a lifetime on the Left Coast!) Johnny’s cartoon tanked. Eric is shacking up with some other chick. Turtle has turned his suds-loving attention to the idea of throwing down with mixed martial artist Ronda Rousey. Ari and bliss didn’t jibe too well, and he’s trying to launch a new movie studio.
So the guys are back together (for at least 104 minutes), gunning for more “good times,” big boozing and bare babes.
Vince and his entourage go way back, and we can at least say they’re a loyal pack … with moments of madness among them but, yes, still mostly loyal. Eric and Sloan do end up having a baby, and it appears that they may even stay together. Ari and his wife at least make an effort to keep their family intact, too.
Ari hosts a gay, Jewish wedding for his former personal assistant, Lloyd. “My house, my God,” Ari states. Ari kneels and prays for the success of his film. (His supplication is played as a joke.)
According to Entourage, if you’re a female in film-land, you’re A) busty, B) fond of bikinis, and C) ready and willing to shed even that scrap of fabric whenever there’s a need, which is quite often. Thus, numerous women go topless.
We see Eric having sex with two different women. One is topless and the other is fully naked. Both scenes are explicit, with sexual sounds and movements. In one, the camera zooms in to closely examine the woman’s breasts and backside. Afterwards, we see her walking around and lounging in the pool au naturel. Two nude women pleasure each other orally in the background of another scene.
Ari and his wife have sex as well. (She’s wearing a camisole.) Johnny is seen masturbating. (The video is pixelated.) Two men kiss several times. Sloan and Eric argue about the fact that Eric had sex with Sloan’s stepmother. We hear numerous crude-to-obscene sexual gags about male and female genitals, anal sex, oral sex, sexual dysfunction, sex with underage girls and masturbation.
A clip from Vince’s movie features drugged-out crowds attacking police with fire bombs. The officers strike back at the rioters with batons. A woman is hit in the face and knocked down with a rubber projectile. During a martial arts sparring match, Ronda Rousey kicks and thumps Turtle around the ring and appears to break his arm.
More than 100 f-words, sometimes used sexually, sometimes in combination with Jesus’ or God’s names. Close to 20 s-words. We hear the c-word as well. Also: “p—y,” “t-tties,” “t-ts,” “b–ch,” “a–,” “h—” and “d–n.” God’s and Jesus’ names are otherwise abused 30 or so times. The n-word is used once. Several characters flip a middle finger.
Wine, champagne, beer and hard liquor flow freely at parties and also just “during the day.” At one party a guy walks around handing out tabs of Molly. Johnny combines Molly and Viagra, among other things, to create a liquid concoction that he gives to an unaware Eric. Vince smokes weed. Johnny gets visibly drunk while drowning his woes in whiskey. In a movie clip, Vince’s character distributes a glowing drug.
Ari makes several derogatory jokes about Jews, often about being one himself.
There’s really only one good reason to make a film like Entourage. It’s quite simply that the movie industry—seemingly bereft of solid, creative, bankable ideas—thinks that making a pic based on a once buzzy TV show will surely draw a built-in fan base. And cha-ching, the big bucks will flow once again.
Why, just look at the Sex and the City movies. Or, maybe don’t.
So there’s really* no* good reason to make this movie. And, quite frankly, absolutely no reason to watch it.
Four years after the HBO series this flick is based on wrapped, are we really supposed to appreciate yet one more showcase of the lifestyles of the rich and raunchy boy-men of Tinseltown? The only difference this go-round is that the implausible, f-bomb-laden episode is stretched out to twice the usual length, pumped up to beyond peep show levels of sex and nudity, and jammed with celebrity walk-ons (from newsmen Matt Lauer and Piers Morgan to businessmen Warren Buffett and Mark Cuban to musicans T.I., Common and Pharrell Williams to actors Liam Neeson, Kelsey Grammer, Jessica Alba and Gary Busey to comedians Bob Saget and Andrew Dice Clay to sports figures Mike Tyson, Russell Wilson and Tom Brady).
Or, if you want to put it in Entourage parlance: This movie is nothing more than the same kind of amoral, vapid, viperish, Hollywood celebrity cameo tripe that the salacious series once seemed to mock.
After spending more than two decades touring, directing, writing and producing for Christian theater and radio (most recently for Adventures in Odyssey, which he still contributes to), Bob joined the Plugged In staff to help us focus more heavily on video games. He is also one of our primary movie reviewers.
